I like girls in overalls. Good looking girls. Not the plowed 10 miles of bad road kind.

Come on Eileen,coveralls
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen.

Well it looks like someone has set the way-back machine to 1982 Mr. Peabody. That was thirty years ago! Jesus, when I say it like that its rather painful isn’t it? LOL

I was twelve years old in ’82 and didn’t have a care in the world. J. Geils band was ruling Casey Kasem’s weekly top 40, there was no such thing as CD’s the internet, cell phones, and if you were a true lost soul and about to take the wrong path in life, then your biggest decision was if you were going to sneak a few smokes out by the shop class in middle school just a year or two later.

Mr. Graham taught shop at Dan McCarty Middle School. Shannon Fieldhouse was a good looking girl and she smoked cigarettes in the alley by the shop class with a few of us other reprobates. I have no idea how I just remembered all this from thirty plus years ago, when I cant remember what I ate for lunch last week. Thoughts arrive like butterflies!

Anyway, let me make an honest attempt to get this post on a coherent track.

I like overalls. I don’t have any yet but I am looking for some new ones. I used to wear them when I was 4-5 years old and have recently decided that I am getting some more. Why? Why not? Well that and because I am at the age now that I don’t particularly care what others may think. I think overalls in America are what kilts are to the irish/scottish in the sense that the true overall and kilt aficionados do not wear underwear. A tee-shirt some Levi overalls and you’re good to go in all your free balling goodness. Overalls are what built this great country. Look at pictures from the gold rush, steel workers that built the skyscrapers, Henry Fords assembly lines. Overalls!

Best TV in the world, look overalls.

Almost any girl in overalls? Watch out, get out of my way, I am coming through! Overalls!

Yes, I am on the hunt for some new overalls. Or a girl in overalls. Or maybe a cassette tape of J. Geils Band and Dexys Midnight Runners. Or a smoke out by the old shop class.

Screw it, I’ll just take another coffee.


Have a safe new years and I’ll see you all back here in 2013.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Split Pea and Ham Soup

Its after Christmas, you’re looking in the refrigerator wondering what you are going to do with all the holiday leftovers. There’s a ham, carrots, celery, some onions and you have no idea what to do? Make soup. Its easy, its good for you and it cleans out some of the fridge. Win! Bonus if its cold outside and you’re freezing too.

Split Pea and Ham Soup
A quick hearty soup and easy way to use up some holiday leftovers.
Recipe type: Soup
Cuisine: American
Serves: 6
  • 2 Tablespoons of Butter
  • 2 Tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • 1 medium Onion diced
  • 2 Teaspoons of Salt
  • 2-3 cloves of Garlic minced
  • 8 Cups of Water
  • 1 Pound Spit Green Peas rinsed
  • 1 Ham bone
  • 2-3 cups Ham diced
  • 2 Bay leafs
  • 1 Teaspoon of Thyme
  • 2 stalks of Celery with leaved diced
  • 2 large Carrots peeled and diced
  • Pepper to taste
  1. Melt Butter and heat Olive Oil in pot over medium heat
  2. Add diced Onion and Salt and sweat for about 5 minutes until clear
  3. Add minced Garlic and cook 30 seconds until fragrant
  4. Add Water
  5. Add Rinsed Peas
  6. Add Ham Bone
  7. Add Diced Ham
  8. Add Bay Leaves
  9. Add Thyme
  10. Bring to boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 hour
  11. After 1 hour, add diced Celery and Carrot
  12. Increase heat to medium and simmer uncovered for 30 minutes
  13. Reduce to desired thickness
  14. Add Pepper to taste.
  15. Eat


Happy Almost New Year

JellyBeansEveryone feeling fat and happy? I hope the holidays and Santa were kind to you, the faithful reader. I have no reports of domestic violence or homicide so I can only assume everyone got along with their families and enjoyed each others company. It was quiet and low key here which is the way we like it. When Christmas falls in the middle of the week, unless you take the entire week off as most people do, you really cant or at least I can’t seem to get too into the old Christmas spirit.

I got jelly beans for Christmas.

As another year comes to an end I have been reflecting and thinking about the new year to come. Everyones making new year resolutions, wanting to change this thing or that situation. I really don’t have anything special I want to do differently. I try and live life to the best of my ability. Sometimes my best may not be much, and circumstances in my control and not  in my control may dictate otherwise, but I really try and make the best of what comes my way. What’s the point otherwise? Is there things I want to change? Sure there are. I wish I was better looking with a smaller penis, but guess what? I can’t change those things with which I was born. So I might as well make due with the circumstances as best I can. Right?

What about eating more healthy? Ok sure. If by healthy one means the food I enjoy eating isnt made in some Chinese factory with lead paint and child slave labor pee’ing plutonium into the food, sure. I’ll eat more healthy by not buying that crap. I’ll just make it myself without the lead paint and plutonium pee. Easy enough.

I guess what I am trying to say in a less then articulate way, is if I have a resolution it is simple. Keep on living life without regret. Life’s not going to be perfect and frankly sometimes it may outright suck. I’ll make more mistakes, I’ll live, learn and keep moving forward, but I’ll do it in a way that makes me happy. Oh and if being assholish makes you happy, don’t intentionally hurt anyone else. Its a pretty simple theory.

I had a good conversation with a friend over lunch the other day. Some people grow up, bust their ass every day all day and then go home at night to do it all over again the next day. The predominant thought is once you get to retirement or old age etc, you’ve worked your whole life to enjoy the end of it. You know what I say to that? WTF? Why? By the time I can retire, I’ll be half dead, blind, shitting my pants trying to screw cute nursing home staff in broom closets. Thats not something to aspire to with hard work and a miserable life in the salt mines. I am going to do all that anyway. If I make it that long and get there of course. I say, within reason and good sense, live life now! Enjoy it while you can. You can cross the street tomorrow and get wiped out by an idiot driving a bus, lightning strike, cancer or any number of things. Then what? Its too late. When its time to go and leave this earthly existence, we aren’t taking anything with us. What you got in the end is what you’ve done up to that moment.

Resolve to enjoy your life everyday. Even when it sucks, you have to admit its pretty damn good. I have been fortunate in my life so far to travel this world, see other people and cultures, kill some of them, and come home in one piece to know its pretty nice here. I am going to enjoy it as much as I can every day, not just the last few.

No regrets. Do no harm unless its harm to ensure your own happiness and welfare. If the end is tomorrow or in another fifty years, I know I’ll be able to look my higher power, or god, or unicorn rainbow bunnies in the face and say, “I anted up, played the hand I was dealt and left it all on the table when it was time.” I think thats the best you can wish for in any life.

You accomplish all those things, and you get lucky enough to add the love of family, friends, and a good dog in the mix and you my friend are a king among kings.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas. Shitters Full!

Right now, kids all over the place are getting up giggling and laughing about what santa has brought them. Parents are laying in bed after being up all night wrapping and assembling chinese toys with directions printed by some half idiot moron with pieces missing. In the end memories are made. Might as well make them enjoyable and pleasant, because in twenty or forty years, no matter how the times were for you, someone else will recall exactly how you made them feel today. It doesn’t take much to be ingrained into a small new mind that you were there and did the best you could with a smile, or be a miserable asshole for all eternity. So be a champion dammit.

To friends, family and fellow faithful blog readers, Merry Christmas! I am glad you are here and find something redeeming, funny, educational, or maybe just controversial. I have ideas for next year, and plenty more to come. Its been an interesting six months here at Whats Up Brock and for all you early adopters, I thank and appreciate you.

Go open presents, watch someone smile, eat too much, drink enough, and remember if you’re going to vomit on yourself if you indulge too much holiday cheer, do it while wearing the ugly christmas sweater from Aunt Carol. I want pictures and the first I get wins a gold star from petty cash.

Be safe, enjoy the day, don’t stab anyone, and remember if you love someone tell them. If you don’t love someone you’re forced to be around today, what you say to them may not be important to you and or make you feel better but there are no take-backs when you tell someone to F-off no matter how much you regret it later.

Merry Danny Kaye tapdancing Jesus H. Christ Christmas!

Let ‘er rip, tater chip.

It’s beginning to smell a lot like


Its the day before Christmas Eve. It’s Sunday. It’s 8am EST. I should probably start my Christmas shopping. Didn’t I blog about this nonsense and getting an early start this year? Good intentions pave the way to hell. Well I am not officially late. Late will be if I don’t do anything today and go out shopping tomorrow. If I shop today, technically I could still achieve my resolution to begin early, but honestly why break tradition? I’ll go out tomorrow with my father whom I am certain is in the exact same position I am in. Maybe thats where I get it from? Is procrastination genetic? Is “my low level of give a fucks” passed down from father to son? Am I just some kind of holiday season retail anomaly? Why can’t the month of December take as long to get through as getting into the magical underwear of the hot Mormon girl at prom? Why god? WHY?

I am happy to report I got into the festivities this year. I realized I had in my possession a rather nice Christmas blanket with trees and wreathes and whatnot stitched into it. So I pulled it out and put it over the back of the couch. DING DING Christmas decorating and holiday spirit.

Me and awesome = +1
Broken holiday resolution = 0

DWB_BDCakeYou may remember my small video tribute to my friend Debbie in honor of her wish for a certain themed Magic Mike birthday last weekend. Well for being a good sport through it all (hey who doesn’t love dancing retards special people with boners for their birthday?) I made her a birthday cake.

Its basically a chocolate, chocolate, chocolate and to break up the chocolate, some Reese’s peanut butter cup pieces chocolate cake.

I have another good friend that works for M&M Mars, and he’s going to kick me in the balls when he see’s this post and that I besmirched his chocolate empire for supporting Hershey inc. What I go through and do for friends.

DWB_BDCake1Then my arch nemesis in the baking world “Bakerella” tries to sneak attack my birthday cake making plans and below the radar, without consulting me, the self proclaimed master, of baking and cooking amongst our small group of friends and makes the same cake for our mutual friend Debbie.

Damn you Bakeralla! Damn you to H, E, double hockey sticks! I will have my revenge! ;-P

Seriously though, its all good. Its a small testament of how lucky I am to be associated with and have the group of friends that I do. I mean its not everyday a rather masculine man would openly blog about baking birthday cakes and then take such make believe offense of having his baking spotlight stolen from him in the most treacherous of ways. Fella must have some good friends. Yeah, I do. I’m pretty blessed. Except that Bakerella chick, watch your back around that one, she’s like a Martha Stewart with a switchblade knife. LOL

Coffee’s running low, grass needs cutting, and someone needs help moving a couch. No rest for the wicked!

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!


I hate you Discovery Channel, or how I bought Amish noodles and made moonshine.

MoonshineI occasionally stop at a local farmers market for fruits and vegetables. Last week, when I stopped in, the proprietors were selling Amish noodles. Basically it looked like wide-ish egg noodle, but I am pretty sure it wasn’t made with eggs. Ingredients listed flour and some other things and that it was from Indiana was about all I could discern. Anyway it looked interesting so I bought a bag. “Its Amish” I thought to myself. How bad can it be? The Amish are a simple people who basically renounce all modern day amenities like electricity and pretty much every other convenience. Humble is the way to the lord and whatnot.

I know what you’re thinking. Brock, what the hell does Amish noodles the Discovery channel and moonshine have in common? I’m getting to it, you impatient hooligans!

Back to my Amish noodles. I get home, make the noodles. I had some leftover pot roast, so on the fly I made some thrown together beef stroganoff. Or as I was in a rather faded and X-rated mood, called it my special beef strokin’ off. Don’t ask me why I called it that. I assure you it had nothing to do with anything with what it sounded like and turned out rather good. I was more just slipping in and out of my fantasy of being a world renowned pornographer turned cook book author, but I digress. The noodles were good, the beef strokin’ off was good, and as I have a tendency to do, I thought about lost love because the noodles came from fucking indiana. I hate my mind. Not the porn fantasy part, the old girlfriend parts.

Ok Ok the damn point.

Discovery Channel has a new series called Amish Mafia. The premiss of the show, is that in and around one of the largest Amish communities in the country, Lancaster Pennsylvania, is this semi-rogue group of Amish, or pretend to be Amish who have assembled their own little Mob/gang/mafia group of Amish thugs. They have cars, cell phones, guns etc. According to the shows footnotes this group of Amish thugs are not generally acknowledged by the true Amish as legitimate, but they kind of just look the other way. They are basically claiming to be the Amish muscle for settling disputes, charging the Amish businesses protection fees etc. Its so ridiculous because the “Tony Soprano” ring leader of this group is the worlds biggest douche bag you can imagine. His name is Levi and he is essentially a dumb assed roofing contractor who essentially saw an opportunity to be a douche bag in the middle of Amish country Pennsylvania. I give him credit for carving out a special and unique niche business where there was none.

What does the Amish mafia do? Well according to the show and what I briefly described above, Levi and his group of Amish losers, cater to all the normal Amish kids who don’t get to experience much of the modern world. They throw house parties, with x-box, Maytag washers and dryers, iPods, and I think I even saw, heaven help the Amish, a can of  Red Bull and a bong.

Amish kids as I understand it, reach a certain age in their teens, and basically get a year, to go out into the world and fuck off with the full blessing of the Amish elders. Its called something like Rump Shaker or rum shaka, boom shaka. I really have no damn clue and too lazy to Google Fu that shit. One of you teachers pets please hit it up and leave extra credit – take a star from petty cash, comment below for the rest of the class.

So they throw house parties for the kids, extort protection money from the legitimate Amish store and shop owners, backyard illegal MMA fights and gambling. Run off any fake Amish furniture makers and interlopers.

Its crazy. I think its half bullshit and fake, and I hate Discovery Channel because those bastards got me hooked on some cockamamie show. Again.

Yea, they got me with the Moonshiners show too. Now this show I know is bullshit. Bullshit in the way, that while making moonshine exists and is illegal, what and whom they are filming is completely fake and scripted. Technically Discovery Channel cant send camera men and production out and actively commit crime then sell the video of it on TV and make money with it. I am not that stupid.

So, I watch the show, because of a few reasons, but mostly because it looks damn easy to make moonshine. I love knowledge too. I also like backwoods old coots named Mr. Jim Tom. He’s a main character on the show without any teeth. Mr. Jim Tom is like the next old moonshine maker behind one of the greats Popcorn Sutton.

Anyway, this show once you get past all the silly scripted pretend sneaking around, the making of the moonshine is pretty well documented and easy to follow. Its also mildly interesting. Hey, I’m not watching The Voice, or Dancing with the Retards, and by gosh who couldn’t use the skills to make ones very own distilled spirits? Still I have to damn the Discovery Channel for the fake drama and other nonsense, they got me hooked here too. Bastards.

Oh hello Monday. Its nice to see you this time.

Hello faithful blog readers. Anything new? I know, I know, this unfortunately is probably a Monday we are all happy to see arrive.

As most of you are fully aware of the horrendous tragedy that took place this past Friday in Connecticut, what is the most ugly of these events is how our media exploits the situation.

We know nothing about the young man that committed these horrible crimes. We know nothing about the young mans family or upbringing. Yet the media is running wild with speculation as to means and motive. The media feeds the knee jerk reaction of every simple minded talking head to pontificate on personal opinion regarding the second amendment, further gun control, mental illness all the way down to what video games and tv the accused may have watched in his life. Of course the simpletons among us see the only solution to the problem is to eliminate all those listed things. Idiots.

Gun control does not fix this problem. Banning assault weapons does not eliminate school, movie theater, or mall shootings. Psychiatric hospitals and mental health doctors do not prevent these horrible things from happening. Purple magical unicorns and school prayers do not prevent these things from happening. Grandstanding moronic legislators promising new bills outlawing every single behavior or device prevent these horrible acts from occurring.

Understand this and repeat it a million times. Personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility comes in all shapes and sizes of life. From a mother with a mentally unstable kid living in her home deciding that while it may be lawful to own and collect an assortment of weapons, that its probably in her and the local populations best interest that she not have a fucking arsenal in her garage/basement. Thats personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility comes in the shape of a mother, father, brother, sister, family member, police, doctor, lawyer, judge, fireman, priest saying to someone, “look your sister, brother, son, daughter, is a fucking lunatic who needs mental health treatment”. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and no different then if you’re sick with the flu, cancer, or a broken leg. Until we let go of the stigma of mental health being a big no no talk and dirty little secret to ignore, then someone in the chain of life is failing at personal responsibility for that sick members condition and possible life experiences.

Personal responsibility comes in the forms of our school administrators and local elected government protecting our children. Before we bitch and moan about the teachers unions and their shitty pay, we need to know do we have any level of security? Is there the simplest form of a security plan about who the hell can walk into or get access into a full school of kindergarten children? How about a security plan or access control for a fucking kid armed to the teeth with assault rifles and pistols dressed in tactical or threatening clothing? Its not hard to spot these mass shooting perpetrators for god sake. Maybe we should lock a door. Maybe we should install a camera. Maybe we should pay at least someone to watch the locked fucking door or camera. Thats personal responsibility, whether its from a school principal, security guard, or Mr. Smith the science teacher.

Until we as a society start taking a look at ourselves for our problems instead of pointing blame at others, we will continue the downward spiral. We are each responsible for our own happiness and survival. No one is going to effectively legislate responsibility, happiness, safety, or morality. Only you the individual can do any of those things. What needs to be understood however is while there are those that refuse to take personal responsibility for their own lives and actions the simpletons whom we the lazy have elected to represent those that refuse to take personal responsibility, will only take away the freedoms from the few of us that try to live in a responsible way.

  • Drugs are bad. Take them away. How has that worked?
  • Alcohol is bad. Take it away. How has that worked?
  • Cigarettes are bad. Take them away. How has that worked?
  • Speeding in a car is bad. Take it away. How has that worked?
  • Guns are bad. Take them away. How has that worked?

Do you see a trend here? Look at the list of bad things that this nation and world has over time tried to legislate away because of the peoples lack of personal responsibility. Look at the consequences people historically have paid over time due to this legislation. When you don’t take responsibility for your actions, it doesn’t affect you. Eventually it only effects those that are responsible. The history books are full of prime examples of how people, citizens, countries, civilizations have failed for nothing more then lack of responsibility that more times then not can easily be traced back to an individual.

We’re all going to fail at something or things in life. It’s nature to fail. Without failure we don’t learn. Its when we fail that we don’t own the failure or blame someone else for the failure that the problem really takes root. Failure is a tough lesson in life to accept and take ownership of in this day and age. Its easy to dismiss or shift the blame of failure to others for the current state of affairs we find ourselves living in. I know I am no different. I have failed, I have shifted blame too. I can say and I guess I am fortunate that I have realized that in life, it hasn’t worked. I believe real freedom is when you accept your failures, learn and move on, trying not to fail in a similar way again. Sometimes the lessons are easy, sometimes hard.

I have soapboxed this subject enough so I’ll close with the following. Don’t allow the mainstream media to dictate to you how to feel. There are no hero’s in this so don’t look for any. Hollywood movie stars and entertainers having nothing of significance to say about this and if they claim they do then you should know immediately they’re full of shit and don’t truly care. There was and still is lots of failure of personal responsibility that led to and allowed this to happen. It wasn’t a singular item. Not a gun, an unlocked door, or a mother in denial of her mentally broken son. A lot of people passed the buck and didn’t accept responsibility that lead up to these events. This will happen again. No amount of new laws will prevent bad things from happening. Be responsible, and be ready for bad things to happen in a way that makes you comfortable. Not what some idiot on TV or the Internet tells you. This blog included.


Ask and You Shall Receive

Its my friend Debbie’s birthday weekend. We refer to Debbie as the party princess for her good nature and always up for a good time without any drama. Well Debbie wants her birthday weekend to have a “Magic Mike” theme. After the urge to vomit, I somehow regain control and think to myself, “hey its her weekend and she likes the movie Magic Mike so she deserves what she wants.”

So TGIF my friends. Debbie, Party Princess, heres to an awesome birthday weekend, and here for your viewing pleasure, is as Magic Mike as I could get. Enjoy your birthday girl!

An Open Letter to Lucille


Dear Lucille,

Six months ago yesterday, I told you goodbye not knowing I would never see you again. Since that time, your brother Rudy has joined you, and by now I am sure you have found Jasper, Bullet, and Sally.

You’ll be happy to know that I adopted another dog that needed a home. He’s a smaller Cocker Spaniel and has a lot of your traits. His name is Lucas. You probably know all this already. He plays with all your old toys and chews all your old bones. He especially likes the bones you chewed groves in with your teeth. His mouth is smaller you know. Lucas follows me around the house from room to room like you did and he jumps on the couch to  look out the window as you did.

I fight my memory trying to remember all the different looks you had. Some I can recall, but with time things are drifting further away. Your soft fur, your cold nose in my ear to wake me up in the morning and growling at the rabbits in the yard I miss, but you not being at the door when I get home I miss most.

Where ever you wound up I know you’re better now. Running, swimming, all day I am sure.  I know we’ll see each other again. I want you to know I am doing alright. You gave me the best thing in life. I tell anyone that listens, that I had the best and prettiest dog. You were so smart and never a problem even when you got sick.

You’re the bossy one so keep the rest of the pack in line. When I get there I’ll have your favorite egg nog and I’ll throw the frisbee for you until my arms fall off.

Miss you.


French Macaroons

French Macaroons seem to be all the baking rage lately. Some will also have you believe that you need to be a French pastry chef in order to make them. WRONG. Its easy. Easy if your not like handicapped in a way that you may run out in busy traffic or play golf in a raging lightning storm.

The French Macaroons are a cookie made with ground almonds, sugar and beaten egg whites. If you have a nut or egg allergy beware. I don’t want any news that one of you allergic types tried these then you seized up and had to take fifteen Epi-Shots in your butt to keep you from heading into the bright lights.

Generally speaking the cookies have either buttercream or jelly/jam spread in between the cookies. I went the butter cream route today. The cookies have a semi hard plastic shell type exterior and soft chewy interior. You can dye them any color you like.

Here are a few pictures of my examples I busted out this afternoon.

French Macaroons
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
A cookie. Its French and they call it a macaroon. They are in vogue right now, so make them and impress people.
Recipe type: Dessert
Cuisine: French
Serves: 12
  • ¾ cups Finely Ground Almonds
  • 1 cup Powdered Confectioners Sugar
  • 2 Egg Whites
  • 4 Tablespoons Granulated Sugar
  • 2-4 Drops of Food Coloring
  1. Grind and sift Almonds into bowl
  2. Sift Powdered Confectioners sugar into bowl with ground Almonds
  3. Using a whip attachment on mixer or handheld blender whip Egg Whites to soft peak stage
  4. Slowly add Granulated sugar a tablespoon at a time to whipped Egg Whites until stiff peak stage
  5. Fold stiff peak Egg White / Sugar mixture into ground Almonds and Confectioners Sugar until well incorporated
  6. Add 2-4 drops of Food coloring of choice to cookie batter and stir to incorporate
  7. Spoon cookie batter into piping bag or ziplock bag with corner cut off
  8. Pipe dime sized batter onto parchment lined baking sheet, well spaced out. Batter will flatten out a bit
  9. Leave baking sheets with piped out cookie batter on counter to rest 15 minutes to form a crust on top of each cookie
  10. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees
  11. After 15 minutes rest and oven pre-heat place baking sheets with cookies into oven and lower heat to 300 degrees
  12. Bake for 8 minutes
  13. Rotate baking sheets in oven
  14. Bake for another 8 minutes
  15. Remove baking sheets allow cookies to cool for 10-15 minutes
  16. Remove cookies from baking sheets and allow to completely cook on racks
  17. Gently spread buttercream frosting or jam of your choice between cookies