I’m Seeing This Girl and She Might Just Be Out of Her Mind

Well she’s got baggage and it’s all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit

Ugh, Monday. Well, lets get this going and the pain of another work week ahead of us.

Kate is still pregnant, puking and whatnot. However now the circus surrounding this non-event has finally grown some legs the mainstream media can sink their teeth into to keep this going even longer.

It seems a couple radio station DJ’s down in Australia decided to call the hospital where Kate was being treated for puking and shitting herself due to the satan spawn growing within her polluted womb, as a prank. A nurse answers the call from the DJ’s impersonating the Queen enquiring about Kate and the nurse puts the call through to the ward where Kate is being treated blah blah blah. Its all a joke, a radio gag done in every “Shock jock”, morning drive, prize hoopty radio station from one end of the globe to another.

It turns out, the nurse that took the call, and transferred the call to the Duchesses room, toilet, shower, puke bucket, was so distraught from being taken in the gag, she kills herself. Oh yea, dead right there as they say. When I first heard the news she was dead, I immediately thought to myself, “awesome, the palace/hospital is playing a gag, back to the two nitwit DJ’s to make them sweat a bit and feel shitty for the prank.” Right? Honestly no sane person would kill them self over a stupid telephone call. In my mind I am thinking, hey the British royals and or hospital really get how to combat this dumb-shit nonsense. They pretend the nurse kills herself, the DJ’s feel like shit and the tables get turned on the idiots that these kind of radio stunts aren’t funny to begin with.

Only one problem. This dumb broad actually kills herself over this crap. WTF? As you can imagine, the DJ’s and the radio show is shit canned. Now we the innocent people of earth will have to listen to media pontificate how horrible it is to play jokes on people and how the most feeble minded, and insecure of the population must be protected from being the brunt of a freaking joke. One more nail in the coffin of freedom. Get ready, and watch the cockamamie bullshit the media and then our own elected idiots around the world react to these events. These two DJ’s will and already are taking the blame for this, and no one is going to bring up that the nurse was the one with the ultimate problem.

Moving along…

My Jets pull off a win against Jacksonville. Dolphins slip against San Fran. Giants and Saints score about 450 combined total points against each other. However most notably in weekend sports news, Manny Pacquiao, got “knocked the fuck out” by Marquez with a right to the jib in the last seconds of the six round. Not just a KO, but a KO that Manny took a damn nap face first in the “oh shit” of life for about two minutes.

By scorecard and punch stat, Manny was in control of the fight and leading the way. Just goes to show you however as in life, things can turn on a dime and change. If you’re not ready and protecting yourself at all times, you’re taking that ride.

Manny still got paid $20 million dollars, so I don’t feel too terribly bad for him. If this does anything, it will motivate Floyd Mayweather to stop pussyfooting around and agree to a fight with Pacquiao. That is as soon as the “Money Team” runs out of strip club money and Floyd has to start paying back gambling debt.

Thats about it for the weekend. We lost another Seal this weekend saving a Doctor who was kidnapped by the Taliban. As much as the administration would have you believe otherwise, things are still bad over there and Americans are being lost. Keep them in your prayers and thoughts. Its a tough time of year to get a military chaplain and officer at your door to tell you that a son or daughter isn’t coming home. Remember this when you bitch about not being able to find that perfect gift for the present exchange at the office Christmas party.

French Macaroons and Apple Pie is on my mind today. So is Dark Knight Rises on iTunes. So is cutting the grass and laundry and going to the bank and….

I beter get moving and make this day off a productive one.

Never Forget

A little history lesson for the day. A little of this……

Equals this…

Always remember that one doesnt defeat us and the other doesnt make us great. Its the in-between that proved our greatness. Never forget.

Gangway Thursday! Coming Through Nothing to See Here

Haven’t made a Thursday post in while so here we go. Another milestone. Go me. Go you. We’re awesome.

What’s new?

Kate is still pregnant, puking and shitting herself.

Rex Ryan is still an idiot and starting Sanchez against Jacksonville. This will certainly put the final nail into the wildcard playoff coffin chances of the year.

Homeless people in New York really are stupid. You give them shoes in the winter, and they trade them for booze the next day. You tell them to go get a job and they push you in front of a subway. Meanwhile every other fire, police, power company, and other tradesmen from around the country are voluntarily helping with the recovery of Hurricane Sandy in NJ/NY while the bums sit and freeze their asses off doing nothing. Go figure.

Syria is loading aerial bombs with the base components of sarin gas. I hope they use it on each other. Not because I want to see people die in the most gruesome way possible, because trust me, it will be gruesome and it will not be pretty. I want to see it happen because its a permanent and lasting solution to a problem that will take care of everything within hours over there. It will be one less headache for Israel and it will consume the Obama administration for at least a year in bullshit politics of shifting blame, making excuses and hiding truth and fact, that Washington wont have time to ruin the economy further. Well for a bit of time anyway. One can hope. HOPE AND CHANGE YO!

I suppose I should start thinking about Christmas shopping this year. That fact that I am thinking about thinking about the shopping shows I am maturing with age. My goal is do something in the way of Christmas presents before the 23rd. We’ll see how all that pans out. My modus operandi is start my shopping on December 24th. By that time Im so ridiculously late that I can’t even be stressed about it anymore and only laugh as I battle my way through the crowds of other ridiculously late procrastinators out on Christmas Eve doing the same exact thing. We’re a small group, a band of brothers if you will. You know us by the smiles on our faces, walking through the Targets and Best Buys with Starbucks cups full of scotch. We all live knowing that all can be made well with our significant others by the mere and simple stop by the mall jewelry store and the purchase of flashy stones and gold metal that will prove us worthy for another year. Merry Christmas!

Thats it. I need coffee.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!


After Italian food, TeX-Mex is probably my next favorite and in particular Tacos. Not that fast food shit either. The real deal. Flour tortillas, some kind of meat product, a little red onion, tomato, cilantro, lime. There is nothing better. Flour tortillas are easy to make at home and take no time at all.

You can pretty much put anything protein wise in a taco. Beef, chicken, pork, so I am not going to discuss the protein much here. However I will give you the recipe on how to make homemade flour tortillas. Once you make your own flour tortillas you’ll never buy the pre made tortillas from the store again.

The only special equipment you need to make your own flour tortillas is a cast iron pan. If your a true southerner then you have a cast iron skillet, or you were placed on this earth by aliens. In reality everyone should own one cast iron pan so the special equipment disclaimer for this recipe is more or less negligible. Just be advised.

Flour Tortillas
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
Homemade flour tortillas.
Recipe type: Entree
Cuisine: Mexican
Serves: 4
  • 2 cups All Purpose Flour
  • 1-1/2 teaspoons Baking Powder
  • ½ teaspoon Table Salt
  • 2 tablespoons of Vegetable Oil
  • ¾ cup of room temperature Milk
  1. Put dry ingredients into a bowl and whisk to combine
  2. Add Oil and Milk stir to combine
  3. Knead dough on floured surface for 2 to 3 minutes. You may add some bench flour during kneading its ok.
  4. Place kneaded dough in bowl and cover with clean dish towel for 30 minutes
  5. After 30 minutes pre heat cast iron pan over high heat
  6. Divide dough into ten equal parts and roll into golf ball sized balls.
  7. Roll each dough ball out on floured surface into 7-9 inch circle with rolling pin tortillas will be thin
  8. Place tortilla in screaming hot cast iron pan. Surface will bubble and blister within 45 seconds
  9. Flip tortilla and cook other side for another minute. Slight charing will occur.
  10. Place cooked tortillas on a plate and keep warm.

Monday again, Costas is an idiot, Kate is knocked up.

Its Monday again kids, ugh. They should make a pill for Mondays. Mondays just drag on so long, and serve no real purpose but to remind us just how far away Friday actually is and how fast yesterday seems to pass us by.

Everyone probably knows by now the brouhaha that Kansas City Chiefs Jovan Belcher pulled this past weekend. Kills his girlfriend, then himself with a handgun. Sad and unfortunate, but what is worse is Bob Costas opining about his perceived ideas of gun control and how if Belcher didn’t have access to a gun his girlfriend and himself would still be alive.

Mr. Costas, here’s ba bit of advice. Shut up and concentrate on being a horrible sports reporter. Trust me your hands are full enough in that regard. When you start regurgitating the mental nonsense and intellectual diarrhea of Jason Whitlock, you cant scratch the bottom of the barrel of colossal potato retard any further. You sir have no damn idea what true freedom means. As a supposed journalist in this country advocating for any stricter gun control makes you nothing more then an imbecilic hypocrite. Every time you cash a check for doing the job you so love it is because of the rights of free law abiding men and women in this country that are granted the constitutional protection to own and bear arms. You remember that the next time you freely express your garbage opinions without fear of retribution. Jackoff.

It seems Prince William wasted no time in his royal duties with Duchess Kate. Don’t get me wrong she is a nice piece of royal ass, but does anyone particularly care that she is pregnant? I understand the fascination with the royal family and how it sells gossip magazines at the grocery stores. Honestly though, who cares? Unless of course the kid is born with two heads, hooves and barking fire I have no idea why generally sane people give a squirt of care that she is pregnant.

Now for nine months every time this girl bends over the press is going to fall all over themselves for a shot up her butt to claim they got the first picture of the heir apparent. Nothing else going on in the world to concentrate on I guess.

How was everyone’s weekend? Mine was ok. I made pie.

If you like pie like I like pie, then you should mosey on over to the recipe section and get to making it. This particular pie plays nicely with my pre onset type II diabetes and hey, like all the hipster little idiot kids say now a days, You only live once! YOLO homeys!

So with that, I shall close for now. Be nice to each other and if you can’t and need to kill someone or yourself, please do not use a knife or pipe to do the dirty deed. Last thing you know we’ll have every talking head in the nation pontificating on more knife and pipe control laws and then we’ll have to cut steaks with a spoon and shit in buckets.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!


Pecan Pie

Pecan Pie is easy to make and is as American and holiday as a bunch of sugar high kids screaming about Santa Clause and tearing ass into presents while parents get drunk on Egg Nog.

In the past I have given a dough recipe for savory pies, but this is the standard dough recipe I use for sweet pies. Its a little different in the fact that I use only butter, and add some sugar. The premiss is still the same and its easy to make. Pie dough can also be made ahead of time or frozen for later use. No reason to not keep some on hand.

Pie Dough
Prep time
Total time
A standard and easy to make pie dough for sweet pies such as pumpkin, pecan, sweet potato pies.
Recipe type: Dessert
Cuisine: American
  • 1-1/4 cup of All Purpose Flower
  • ⅓ cup of Granulated Sugar
  • 1 pinch of Table Salt
  • 8 tablespoons of cold Unsalted Butter (cubed)
  • 2-4 tablespoons ice cold Water
  1. Place Flour, Sugar and Salt into a bowl and whisk to combine
  2. Cut cold butter into Flour mixture with hands or pastry cutter until resembles course meal
  3. Slowly add cold water tablespoon at a time and mix to combine
  4. Form into round disk
  5. Wrap in plastic saran type wrap.
  6. Place in refrigerator for 30 minutes
After a 30 minuted rest in refrigerator roll dough out on floured surface. Makes one 9inch bottom pie crust. Double recipe for a top pie crust.

Once you have made your pie dough and allowed it to rest in the fridge for 30 minutes, you can take it out and roll the dough out on a floured surface to about the size of your pie pan. This pie dough recipe makes enough dough for a single bottom crust for a 9 inch pie. If you’re going to use this dough for say an apple, cherry, or peach pie you will need to double the recipe for the additional top crust.
Pecan Pie
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
A great pecan pie for the holidays or any time of year. Who said pie isn't good all year? No one! Ever!
Recipe type: Dessert
Cuisine: American
Serves: 8
  • 4 room temperature Eggs
  • 1 cup of Granulated Sugar
  • 1 tablespoon of All Purpose Flour
  • ¼ cup of melted regular Butter
  • 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
  • 1-1/4 cup of white corn syrup (Karo)
  • 2 cups of Pecan halves
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  2. Prepare one basic sweet Pie Dough recipe
  3. In a bowl whisk together Eggs, Sugar, Flour, Butter, Vanilla, and Corn Syrup until well combined
  4. Add Pecan halves to Egg and Sugar mixture and stir gently to combine
  5. Pour Pecan mixture into prepared unbaked pie dough
  6. Cook for an 1 hour and 20 minuted until center is set
  7. Completely cool to room temp and refrigerate

If you like pie, and you like pecans, then you should try making this pie. If you don’t like pie, well then throw yourself in front of a moving bus. The world has no use for you.