cookWhat’s up faithful reader? Hope this update finds you well. I certainly can’t complain. I have some news, some observations, maybe a rant or bitch or two and well lets get into the meat of it all and waste no more time.

Lately I have been noticing change. Change in everything really. Obviously things need to change and change is natural. I don’t mind change at all and if I am prepared for it.  I usually welcome change. However I am a firm believer in that once a person or item or situation reached its fundamental pinnacle of perfection or awesomeness then it should be left alone. Of course this doesn’t work with everything otherwise things become stale and life would be boring. So although I preach and welcome the idea of change there is just some shit I wish would be left the hell alone. I’ll give an example.

Fruit Loops! With the exception of raisin bran or oatmeal I probably haven’t ate cereal in twenty plus years. Recently I have delved back into the realm of sugary children’s cereal for breakfast consumption. Now back in the day before all this Michele Obama healthy eating school lunch bullshit and other organic natural food kick there was an entire population of Generation X kids like myself that mainly subsisted on Fruit Loops, Happy Meals, and Totinos toaster oven pizza.

Last week, I bought a box of Fruit Loops Cereal. Right across the top of the box, right above that crazy fucking Toucan Sam with his LBGT friendly rainbow snout is the words, “made with whole grain.” I was like “oh thats nice a healthier option for the kids with anal parents.” I search throughout the grocery store shelves for the “old school gangster” Fruit Loops. You remember the kind made with white enriched full gluten crackling goodness in the three basic colors, and lacquered in pure sugar and the finest of high fructose corn syrup that left the milk in the bowl a rainbow tinged slurry of milk sugar that could keep a kid going all day.

Here I am slinging boxes of this fake Fruit Loop crap behind me in my quest for the real Fruit Loops of my youth. After standing in a pile of semi healthy boxes of Fruit Loops at my feet, and garnering more then one dirty look from a passerby and the fat pig in the electric cart who could not pass my General Mills cereal barricade I realize this new healthful brand of Fruit Loops is all there is for sale. Pissed off I grab a box (hey I am not a quitter and will try anything once) and I punt my way out of the pile of Fruit Loops around my feet swearing under my breath about another lost childhood staple and how the world is in a downward spiral to hell all somehow connected to this new bullshit healthy whole grain version of Fruit Loops.

The following week, I crack open the box one morning and pour a bowl full out. Right away I can tell the actual bits of cereal while still round seem to be smaller and more dense then what I remember of the crack like full puffiness of the originals. Secondly theres about three to four more neon colors in the cereal that I know were not in the original version. I pour in some milk and resign myself to the passing of another staple of my childhood. The taste was ok I guess, and while there was some semblance of the sugary milk payday at the end, it was just not the same.

Why did we have to screw with Fruit Loops? What did we gain? A generation of children grew up eating the old Fruit Loops. Hell Fruit Loops are generally the first real food babies are given to eat. My mother poured the cereal out dry onto the tray of my high chair and I ate those circles of sugary goodness before I could say my name and not crap my diaper. This is where I do not believe in change.

IMG_1476Good Change? A little over a year ago I said goodbye to my angel Golden Retriever Lucille due to cancer. As of this afternoon I now have three dogs in this house with me. A Cocker Spaniel, a Mastiff bulldog mix, and a full AKC Dogue De Bordeaux. Yea I know I haven’t quite got past the point of wondering if I am slowly slipping into “crazy cat lady” like insanity but so far so good. Everyone is getting along, no aggressive posturing so it looks like the pack is growing in size.

His official name is Coconut Head. All my dogs are named after characters from the movie Cool Hand Luke. I pretty much have the main characters of the movie covered now. Lucas, Dragline and now Coconut Head. (Coco) for short. Coco handles all the bets for cool drinks. “Coco we got us a bet here!”

In reality I don’t call any of them by their names. They are all referred to some size of “nug” or nugget. I have Little nugget (short for butt nugget) middle nugget and now big nugget or big nug. mmm yea no really I’m not losing my mind at all.

Anyway this is probably it for me. As I look around the house its not crowded and there is plenty of room for the four of us, but as it stands I can probably only comfortably walk these three dogs at a time. Its also probably on the threshold of lunacy I’ll have to try and  explain away to any future girlfriends I may invite over here.

More good change is Apple finally released the new iOS 7. Lots of people commenting that it looks cartoonish etc. In the end I am finding it a step up in the right direction from what we had with version 6. When it comes to electronics and computers most people get used to something and denounce change but in the end change is good in this case. The evolution of computers and science is based on change and without change well we cant hope to survive as a species. iTunes radio is also about six weeks away from driving the first of the numbered few nails into the coffin of Pandora internet radio. You heard it hear first folks. Watch.

Anyone been watching the final season of Breaking Bad? I’m on that every Sunday night like stank on shit. I am going to be sad when the series ends this next Sunday, but with change there is always something more. Saul Goodman the slick assed lawyer from the show, is getting his own series on AMC. Yep “Better Call Saul” is getting his own show. It will be a prequel of sorts detailing how Saul Goodman came to be the scumbag lawyer we all have come to love. I personally can not wait.

That’s about it.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

Hello, Tap Tap is This Thing On?

Oh. Hello there. Where you been?John

Ok Ok. I know I have been away for a few weeks and I apologize. Work has been a bit hectic with the staff taking vacations and shifts needing to be covered. So there has been that.

I have also been suffering a bit of writers block. Not that I don’t have anything in particular to say or discuss. My block as it were is that I just haven’t felt much like talking. Well thats not true. Much like writing or even more specific much like typing. Nothing wrong really. I am not in any blog funk or anything. I can probably best classify my absence as a bit lazy, a need to observe with a side of my give a shit meter was sucking fumes. Just think about it like all the TV shows are in re-runs there was nothing to watch, football season hadn’t started and I was at the beach looking at the last of the summer boobs tits ass  well you know what I mean.

Now I am back. I’ll at least try a little better then one new post this month. Unless I win lotto. Then all bets are off. Well thats not true either. If I win the lotto I would at least make a post with a picture of me holding the winning ticket and a caption saying something rather dramatic in a fashion you have come to expect of me. “Eat my ass, I am out of here!” or something equally as appropriate and poetic. You know, classy and whatnot.

President Obama sure is sticking his meat in this Syria gas thing as much as he can. I have to wonder though what and or why is Obama so hell bent on making this Syria thing into such a monumental issue. We (United States) have happily stood by and watched other countries gas people and we couldn’t give two shits. Iraq in 1988 ring a bell? Saddam gasses the shit out of his own people and some Iranians. Hell the CIA was at the time giving Saddam intelligence reports on Iranian movements and where to gas the Iranians and the Kurds. That gassing was ok. No tomahawk missile strikes there.

We (United States) only sprayed 20 million tons of chemicals in Vietnam. Anyone remember Agent Orange? Anyone want to take a guess how many vietnamese have been born with feet growing out of their heads or tits from their knee caps since the 60’s and 70’s? If they even survived. Its estimated that more then seven million vietnamese have been affected by the shit we sprayed over there. Not even counting the number of our own guys and girls we screwed up with the crap.

Tear gas is a chemical weapon. Oh its true.

Occupy Wall Street?
Waco Texas?

White Phosphorous is a chemical incendiary. Its a chemical weapon. We (United States) were burning down Iraqi woman and children in Fallujah with it in 2004. All true

When you look back historically the US is really ok with chemical weapons. So I have to ask myself why Mr. Obama has such a hard-on for Syria when they decide to use it against their own people. Then it dawned on me.

Guess what is coming up in October? Obamacare’s implementation of the individual mandate. Starting in October and mandatory compliance beginning on January 1st 2014 if you don’t have healthcare you need to buy some.

What a better way to gloss over and cloud that soon to be epidemic cluster f*&k then get us into a mess with Syria?

You don’t have healthcare you must by January 1st. Guess what? You have to pay out of pocket too and you will not get anything from Uncle Obama until you file your taxes in November 2014. I am just wondering how the millions on food stamps, unemployment, SSI and other government sanctioned welfare that all love Obama will pay for healthcare for a year on their own in order to get a subsidy (which really is only a tax credit) in next years taxes?

Has anyone figured out that individual healthcare that will be sold through the state exchanges will run about $250 – $400 a month for a single person and if you have kids and a deadbeat dad to insure you don’t even want to know how many Big Mac’s Juanita is going to have to flip to cover those costs.

Friends the shit storm is brewing. May want to keep your eye on the prize and not be so gullibly swayed by some nonsense in Syria. If you haven’t called or emailed your elected representatives and told them in no uncertain terms “you vote no on Syria action or your ass is out come next election” then you’re asleep at the switch.

The irony in all this mess is Obama made his entire campaign and career of getting to where he is right now, blaming George W. Bush for going into Iraq on the premise of chemical / mass destruction weapons after 2001 when we learned there were those crazy enough to use them on us. Now Obama wants to grandstand after the fact when the kids and the babies are already dead? For what purpose? They already used the gas, the kids are dead. Old Bush trying to get to the weapons before they were used on someone innocent doesn’t look like that big of dickhead anymore.

Thats it. As the warrior poet Hank Williams Jr. once said. “I can skin a buck and run a trout  line a country boy can survive.”

Let ‘er rip, tater chips.