A Holiday Tradition

We’re going to try something out. Each holiday I’ll add a new part, chapter, section, to the story I am about to weave. I have been kicking this idea around in my head for a bit and we’ll just see how it all comes out. I’ll get it out of the way now this probably will not be work safe or child appropriate. It will be a tale that you’d expect only I could come up with in my sick and twisted head.

Let’s get to it. Shall we?

Part One:

She rolled out of the bed slowly as not to awaken the man next to her. Her head was still cloudy as she slowly made her way to the bathroom in the general direction in which her level of inebriation would recollect. She closed the door as not to allow the latch to slam shut and awaken the man left spent in the bed, simultaneously she clicked on the light. She caught her reflection if only briefly in the mirror. Her disgust in her decisions of the evening prior and the acts of debauchery in the room outside prevented her from making eye contact with herself. She had been here before. The men, the sex, the sneaking away in the night with a handful of stolen cash and pills from the medicine cabinet. She was no stranger to these times. “Get your shit together Angie, and get moving” her pounding head replayed like a defective iPod.

Angie was still too drunk and high to care or notice that the toilet seat was up. “Typical pig” Angie thought to herself as she lowered her ass down on the cold porcelain of the bowl. For a second she smiled and thought it felt good on the fresh welts across her bare ass. As she slowly flexed her Kegel muscles and strained to urinate she could feel the spent seed from the barely conscious man in the room next door leave her body. Outside of meeting at the bar the night before she didn’t know the man. This wasn’t her first rodeo with having unprotected sex with a strange man. She preferred it that way. The additional risk of contracting some strange disease from a nameless soul heightened her sexual gratification. Bareback Angie is what all the boys in the fraternity called her. She smiled at the distant memory as she continued to relieve herself in the sleeping mans master bath. Just as she was about to finish her stomach churned and she gulped. She wasn’t finished and continued to evacuate not only her bladder but also her bowels. “We’ll theres that steak from Thursday” Angie guessed to herself while holding back a slight gag from the odoriferous smell. It took a half a roll of toilet paper to sufficiently clean herself. Angie knew there was no way in hell what she deposited in the toilet with all the associated accoutrements were ever going to naturally see the inside plumbing of the structure she was soon to escape. “What the hell I’ll let sleeping Captain Asshole figure it out in the morning”. Bareback Angie also never flushes its her calling card.

Rifling through the mans medicine cabinet and pants on the bathroom floor Angie scored some hydrocodone, half a bottle of penicillin $130 in cash and what she guessed was some low grade Turkish hash. “Not a bad haul for an early Saturday morning” she hazily thought to herself. Angie turned off the light and slowly pushed open the bathroom door. She needed to find her clothes and she needed to get the hell out of that house.

Angie was soon on the floor on all fours. This wasn’t the first time she had been in this exact position. This time however there was no man behind her driving her face into the carpet. The man continued to snore from the bed as Angie felt around for her pants. She was safe for the time being but she could feel her anxiety building in her throbbing head to be anywhere but where she was.

Then it happened. How Angie kept from screaming even puzzled her. She knew what it was the moment it happened. “Its the assholes dog”. The man was an animal lover of sorts. Had an affinity for large American Bulldogs. “But he locked the dog in the kitchen what the fuck was he doing in the bedroom? What the fuck is this dog doing licking the crack of my ass?” Angie thought in a wave of terror as the cold nose of the dog gave a few whiffs of Angie’s stale balloon knot.

Angie was in trouble and she knew it. She tried to push the dog and “shoo” him away. Not happening. “Dozer” she recalled the man calling him last night was about eight pounds more then Angie weighed and built like a brick shithouse. Any attempt to stop the dog and Dozer in an octave lower then a pipe organ in the key of G would slowly growl and bare his teeth. The sleeping man would stir, snort and roll over to the other side of the bed each time the dog made a peep.

Angie was an admitted slut. Girls, boys, three ways you name it Angie had done it. There was even that one time in high school during a sleep over when she jerked off her friend Monica’s Golden Retriever for some school girl laughs in a game of spin the bottle. Angie had a feeling she was going to have to update the ol’ resume now.

Angie wasn’t getting off that easy tonight and for the second time in the last many hours Angie was getting railed from behind face in the carpet. This time it was Dozer the Pitbull doing the driving. Angie bit her lip to keep from wailing out. Soon it would be over. The dog will grunt hop off and Angie would be free, lucky in the fact he had stolen a half bottle of penicillin just a few short minutes before. She’d need the pills.

After Dozer had is way with Angie much as his master had a mere few hours before, he ambled back toward the kitchen to lay down near the air conditioning register in the floor. Dozer liked the cool air on his balls and often slept in the kitchen.

Angie knew her time was quickly counting down to vacate the premisses before the sleeping man or the dog awoke for a stab at round two. She finally found her pants and blouse crumpled in the corner of the room. Her thong panties were gone. She didn’t care. Angie slipped her pants and blouse on, stuffed the drugs and cash in a pocket and headed for the door. One shoe near the couch, and another was picked up by the front foyer. She bolted.

Angie had about a two mile walk back to the bar to get her car. Two miles is a decent distance to walk and think about how far ones life has slipped the bounds of decency. Bareback Angie however doesn’t think about these things. She does what she likes. She lives for no one but herself. On this particular walk back, Angie tried to categorize the evenings sexual encounter into a level of pleasure. She couldn’t do it. Her pause came knowing sex with animals is morally and ethically wrong, but for the life of her she couldn’t decide what she got more pleasure from. The unknown man or the unknown man’s faithful dog.

Angie crushed a Hydrocodone pill and snorted it. She debated whether to shower as soon as she got home or to wait and savor things. She was now torn and sexually aroused thinking about the unknown man and his dog. She looked over her shoulder in the direction of the unknown mans house.

One day she would go back……….


Ok, so there you have it. Part One of Angie’s Adventures. (working title) I like to flesh the characters out a bit so I can’t just jump in to the murder and whatnot. Hope you like it. Whats the next holiday? Valentines Day? Oh the possibilities!

Merry Christmas kids!

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

It’s Beginning to Look A lot Like..

Elf…something. Just not Christmas. Where the hell has the time gone? It was Thanksgiving just yesterday and tomorrow is Christmas. Well not literally but you know what I mean. Every time I turn around it seems like another month has escaped me.

Thanksgiving this year was spent with friends and family. A special and admittedly belated thanks goes out to the Busby’s for allowing me to crash their thanksgiving meal after work. Amy outdid herself with stuffed mushrooms and artichoke while Allen deep fried a bird. A small group of us got together to share a meal. Its these times, I believe, where you can sit down with friends and family and eat together where one really appreciates what one has in life. It doesn’t take much to be happy, but when shared with those in your life it certainly rejuvenates one soul.







That was my traditional Thanksgiving this year. Many thanks Amy and Allen. Oh and Debbie. That cranberry jello walnuts stuff was pretty damn good.

Ok that catches me up for November. Lets get to work on December. Pretty much all that comes to my mind so far in December is a simple, “WTF”

Of course Mr. Obama hauls ass to Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. Expected no biggie right? Sure. No Problem. Except one little thing. Well two little things actually. Barry pisses off the wookie Michelle Obama when he grabs a selfie with the hot blond white girl ambassador or prime minister of some nordic country sitting next to him. Second was the douche bag hearing impaired interpreter that really didn’t know the first goddamn thing in sign language. 

Yes its true. During Nelson Mandela’s memorial service the gentleman who was a foot away from the podium translating famous world leaders (including Obama’s) speeches into sign language for the hearing impaired was in fact doing nothing more then waving runners home on infield triples. I am not kidding. You can’t make this shit up, he didn’t “sign” the first word in accepted sign language.

Ok thats a little weird right? Its gets better. A day or so later when the news spreads that this poor bastard doesn’t know shit, he comes out that “I am schizophrenic and was having a hallucination” to explain his rather odd behavior while attempting to translate the speeches. Finally some truth. The guy is actually schizophrenic. Yep nuttier then squirrel shit. In fact has a criminal record a mile long. Charged with rape, murder and a half a dozen other violent crimes.

I have been thinking how crazy is this poor bastard and the situation he gotten himself into? What possibly could be said or done to take the spot light off this guy and be even more ridiculous then this buffoon on a national stage next to world leaders essentially playing retarded patty cakes?

Well you guessed it. Our secret service puts our fucking President within two feet of this guy! Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Obama makes Jimmy Carter look like Sir Isaac Fucking Newton. However I do not want to see our President next to some African nut job on the worlds stage attacked and hacked to pieces with a machete. Where the fuck was the secret service on this one? Oh I know. Probably with the NSA watching all the fucking porn I am surfing. Go USA. America #1!!

pissedAnd when you think Mr Obama can’t plunge us into anymore of a bizarro world, I believe he stroked off Raul Castro somewhere exit stage left. To think all Michelle Obama the wookie cared about was when she was overheard saying “dis nigga best stay away from those honkey bitches with his selfie picture taking ass”.

Changing gears a bit.

Lately in the news I have been hearing a lot about this musical act or this artist canceling shows at Sea World.

I guess Sea World in Orlando from time to time has musical concerts at the theme park. I don’t associate Sea World with national musical acts but I guess its a thing now. Hey all the power to them I guess. Its a free world after all.

Anyway as it turns out these musical acts and artists are canceling shows at Sea World because of a recent documentary concerning Sea World and their Orca whales. The name of the movie is titled “BlackFish”. I found it on Netflix this weekend and watched it. Its also on Apple TV and probably most video on demand pay per views with most regional cable tv providers.

I would suggest anyone to watch this movie. Like most documentary movies you have to take it all with a grain of salt and understand the writers, directors, producers have a certain agenda. You have to watch with an open mind, separate fact from opinion and conclude your own position.

All that being said, again I say watch the movie. It may open your eyes to something I can safely assume most of us have ignored or blindly accepted.

Most of you know I live in Florida. Most of you live here too. For those of you who live out of state, or in another country, Sea World is in my back yard. You know it as a Disney like attraction in Orlando. It is. Its a company out to make money. They do. I have grown up around the ocean. I kill and eat the animals I have harvested from the ocean. Generally speaking I think I have been a good steward of the environment. Never take what I can’t eat on the sea or land. Never needlessly be cruel to animals domestic or wild.

I have been to Sea World more then a half dozen times in my life. I know the Sea World company line. “We are here to show, teach, learn about the animals of the oceans”. You hear and see it on the news and TV. Sea World is no different then a zoo, whats the big deal? Right?

What Sea World knows and does to the Orcas (killer whales) is appalling and disgraceful. I can remember going to Sea World as a small child. Shamu the killer whale was the main attraction at the time. The original Shamu is long gone. Now its a whale named Tilikum.

What Sea World doesn’t tell you or the trainers at the time is pretty astonishing. You know trainers that used to swim and run the shows with the whales at Sea World whom by the way are NOT marine biologists with advanced degrees, nope just good swimmers ,is that Tilikum has killed as of today three people while in captivity.

You see every other marine biologist or zoological expert that knows anything about Orcas in the wild will tell you that Orcas do not thrive in captivity. Since Sea World has been banned in pretty much all the states in this nation where Orcas exist and in other nations from taking Orcas from the wild they have been using Tilikum as the head of their in house breeding program. Yep they stud him out and he has sired more then twenty killer whales in captivity with about eleven surviving today.

So whats the problem Brock? They are making their own killer whales now and not taking anything from the wild. That would be ok but heres the only problem. Tilikum as been in captivity for so long and is so emotionally screwed up what you see as a killer whale is not at all what a killer whale in the wild is actually like.

Look at it like this. Imagine if you will that from today forward the only way to extend the human race was to be artificially inseminated with cum from Charles Manson.

Tilikum killed his first trainer twenty something years ago while in a Sea Land park in British Columbia. From there Sea World brought him to Orlando where he killed a civilian (whom sea world claimed stayed in park over night and snuck in to the tank to swim with Tilikum) around the year 2000. Then again around 2009 you probably remember the news when Tilikum grabbed the female trainer and killed her in front of a crowd.

TilikumHere’s  some more facts Sea World will not tell you. Orcas in the wild live about as long as humans. 70+ years. In captivity about 35 years.  Notice the dorsal fin curled over in the picture of Tilikum? No killer whale ever observed in the wild has shown this dorsal fin curled over. Only in captivity does this happen to killer whales and its a sign of mental distress. Killer whales in captivity regularly bite and attack each other. Killer whales in the wild seldom do this. Killer whales in the wild mate and the offspring stay with the mother forever and live in autonomous pods for life with their own specific language. There is no recorded event in history of a killer whale in the wild killing a human. Only whales in captivity have ever killed a human.

What is this rant about Brock? I don’t even know that this is a rant. Merely a discussion and factual talk about what Sea World and other animal entertainment like organizations claim they are providing for scientific research and the reality of the almighty dollar.

I am a capitalist. Make money if you can make money. Even use a captured animal from the wild if you want to. Go for it. Wrestle alligators. Charm deadly snakes. Stick your head in a lions open mouth. Knock yourself out. Where I have a problem is the world of bullshit you use to misinform people with to gain acceptance and justify the inhumane and shitty treatment of the animals to the extent of deadly attacks on the staff and general danger to the public.

If I choose to go to a circus in town and see the animals and a pissed off elephant goes crazy and tramples me and my kid to death then so be it. I know the circus is bullshit and mistreat animals and its my choice. Im informed and I accepted the risk. If i am attacked and killed I should get nothing. If I choose not to go to the circus and give them my money then the circus gets nothing. All is fair and everyone is equally informed. See how that works? Pretty simple right?

Sea World will have you believe what they are doing with the Orcas, Dolphins, Manatees, Sea Lions, Polar Bears, and every other damn thing they have swimming in a tank is for science, and the betterment of human kind from the understanding of our environment. That is clearly a load of fat bullshit. Its about making money through the exploitation of wild animals. I think they have a right to do it and you have a right to choose to spend your money going to see it. However, in your freedom, do it with honesty and be informed. Sure you will see beautiful and intelligent animals. Just know that it is nothing at all what those animals do or represent in the wild.

Alright I have rambled along enough. Lets try and wrap this bitch up and make some sense. Easy. Everything in life is like this. This isn’t just Sea World and Killer whales. Its also Walmart and cheap shoes. Its Obamacare. Its religion. Its taxes. Don’t blindly accept the picture on the outside and what you can easily see. Don’t let anyone do the thinking for you. Be honest look for the truth and then decide.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.