Happy New Years or Yea Right. Where the hell have you been?

Yes, its been a while. Sometimes life has a way of re-directing your attention for a time. Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to blog or have anything of significance to say. Sometimes its just like “why?” and I’m all like “because, F- you thats why.” Sometimes its just as simple as I’m busy or tired or happy somewhere else.

Today I’ll swing by this blog, update the software and plugins, and do the general maintenance that none of you readers gives a shit about.

I do have some observations and random statements.

There is a lot of stupid people in the world. Stupid knows no bounds. Our President and current government are stupid.

Look at the majority of people on Facebook most of them are stupid.

Walk down the street. See all the people? Yep their all pretty much stupid.

IRS, stupid.
EPA, stupid.
Al Sharpton, stupid.
Radical Islam, stupid.
Ultra right wing fundamentalist Christian conservative, stupid.
Liberals, stupid.
Sony, stupid.
North Korea, stupid.
Pop music, stupid.
Someone that insists on telling others “They are not stupid.” Yep you guessed it they are fucking stupid!

I literally could fill line after line and page after page of examples of stupid. Then I’d be stupid.

You have the right to be as stupid as you want to be. Hell I don’t even care if you want to be stupid. Where I do take exception is when you aren’t happy being stupid and want to force others to be as stupid as you. You stupids do this through legislation, the mainstream media, your churches, and civic groups.

Really, go be as stupid as you want. Leave me the hell alone. I am perfectly content watching you be stupid.

My folks finally got a new puppy. See? His name is Cooper. He’s not stupid.

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Test test 1,2,3 is this thing on?

So yea, its like 2/3 of the way through July and I haven’t posted since mid February. Way to stay consistent Brock. Ah well screw it. Nobodies perfect. I always said I wouldn’t post just to post if I didn’t have something to say. Not that I have anything earth shattering to say right now, but I thought it prudent to reach out to you loyal readers and tell you I am fine, all is good and I pooped three times today. I feel like million bucks.

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I got one of these with a buddy of mine. There was another but he’s in the freezer now.

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I turned these into this for mothers day this year. She was happy. I’m a damn good son.

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I am going back next month with a couple of these to fill up again.

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I got some of these.

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To ride one of these

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This one isn’t mine but I borrow him from time to time. I’m going to get my own.

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These three are still with me. Stop! Shut up! and Get Down! We keep shit real.

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Its almost Football season. Thank Christ!

So there you have it. A small pictorial to catch you up on the happenings these last couple of months. There is more, but for now I’ll close and just assure you I have more posts coming along.

So be nice, be safe, and enjoy your time here.

Semper Fi, and Let ‘er rip tater chips.

These are great days we’re living, bros

………We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.

You know how I have determined I am getting old? No really. It finally clicked. See to me age is more or less a state of mind. I never was one to sweat or worry about birthdays or dread the big 30 or couch couch 40. Generally speaking I am a firm believer you’re only as old as you feel. I feel good most of the time. I may not be as spry as I was in my early twenties, it may take a little longer to recover from a hang over, but age to me is generally a non-issue. I have dated younger, older no trouble.

Finally it clicked to me. I am getting fucking old. How did all this come about, you may ask? Easy! I found a new favorite restaurant.

Pho Now. Its a Vietnamese food place around the corner from the house. I had read about it online a couple months ago. My brother finally went to it and said the food was good. I pulled in and tried it this past Saturday. Its really good. Imagine Thai food-ish but better.

Anyway I stopped in and ate there this past Saturday. I wanted banh mi which is basically a sandwich made out of French baguette. They were out of bread, so I went with a bowl of basically ramen. However this isn’t like the $.25 cent ramen noodles most of us ate to get through college or the service. This has beef and meatballs, bean sprouts, cilantro, carrots basil and jalapeños. Spicy and flavorful. It was almost like I was back on some street in Siagon, and Charlie was celebrating TET new years by shooting off fireworks down in dog patch. Ok maybe not that part, but it was really good. It was pretty cheap, and it was a mile and a half from the house.

I go home satisfied. I thought about that damn meal all freaking day. It was fresh, flavorful, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like I had met my soulmate for christ’s sake. Don’t get me wrong I have had and made great food in my life. What was so special about this other then what I have stated above?

Now like three or four days later, I am still thinking about that damn food like its a woman. No really, I am not losing my mind goddamn it. Or maybe I am? Oh shit. I have been debating about going back for more of this food but, and I swear I have been having an internal struggle. “Do I go back so soon? Should a wait a week before I show back up? If I go again so soon will I seem desperate?”

See what I mean? I have gotten so old, I am now treating new restaurant and food find like I have met the next great love of my life. What the hell happened to me? How did this happen? What is next? Thanking god I can still get horizontal, pee standing up and regularly take a good shit?

I don’t like this realization one bit. I love that damn food and restaurant, but how I have somehow replaced the love and excitement for say a beautiful woman for that of a bowl of good gook noodles is troubling.

My only rationalization is that this is what its like to get old.

NOOOOOOOO!

I refuse to let this happen. I will go cleanse my soul with a good dose of internet pornography tonight. Right after I translate a few Vietnamese words on Google translator and decide what I am ordering for dinner tomorrow night.Phodacbiet

Well aint this a blogographical oddity, three weeks from everywhere!

Sorry for the long delay on this here old blogosphere, and a happy new years to you as well.

The holidays have passed, the new years is upon us and I made a cake.IMG_1988

Pineapple upside down cake. No biggie. Box cake mix. I grew the pineapple though.

I wish I could give you some exciting news. Like I had beers with the President, saved an old lady from a burning building or found Jimmy Hoffa. Alas, I can only attest to spending time with family, taking an editorial end of year rest from the blog and finally back here ready to take on another year of what you have come to expect of me. No one ever knows and whatever happens to strike my fancy.

Today a personal favorite, music.

The other night was the annual Grammys award show. Its shit and crap and I didn’t watch a single second of it. Caught some high lights from the mornings news and its about what I expected. Blah.

Black Sabbath, and Paul McCartney with the assistance of Dave Grohl and the remaining members of Nirvana won a Grammy. Thats cool I guess. As I have pontificated on this blog numerous times in the past, music today as a whole to me seems like crap. We have been trying to find the next big “thing” musically for about the last ten or so years if you ask me. I mean lets face reality for a second. If you’re Paul McCartney you can record yourself taking a good dump and if you can get Dave Grohl to stand around while doing it, you’re going to win a Grammy. I don’t blame the artists one bit. The industry that brings us music has been in such a state of flux the last fifteen years with the advent of file sharing, iTunes, internet radio that the lazy corporate music business model has been trying to find a way to screw us financially which is harder and harder to do in this day of instant sharing of information. Its not about musical talent any longer. Its about how many likes and shares and You Tube views you can get by teenage girls that dictates what we get to listen to.

Super Bowl is coming. Seattle wins. Heard it here first. Ok maybe you didn’t hear it here first, but I would like to see Seattle win. Frankly I’ll probably spend more time thinking about what kind of food to make and eat during the game then either of the teams involved.

Where were you on this day in 1986? I should back up a bit. Remember this day in 1986? Space shuttle Challenger blew to smithereens during blast off due to bureaucratic management bullshit about making a decision and owning up to it. None the less as I recall I was a freshman in high school sitting in a biology class. Word spread fast, Ronald Reagan said something about “Slipping the surely bounds of earth and touching gods face” or something close to that and a few years of investigation. Only to have the exact same problem with a lack of leadership and management decisions to be the leading cause of destroying the Shuttle Columbia on re-entry some years later. Some lessons are need to be learned more then once.

So thats about it really. I hope this finds you guys in good health. Oh yea Dragline and Coconut head say whats up.IMG_1995 Let ‘er rip tater chips.

A Holiday Tradition

We’re going to try something out. Each holiday I’ll add a new part, chapter, section, to the story I am about to weave. I have been kicking this idea around in my head for a bit and we’ll just see how it all comes out. I’ll get it out of the way now this probably will not be work safe or child appropriate. It will be a tale that you’d expect only I could come up with in my sick and twisted head.

Let’s get to it. Shall we?

Part One:

She rolled out of the bed slowly as not to awaken the man next to her. Her head was still cloudy as she slowly made her way to the bathroom in the general direction in which her level of inebriation would recollect. She closed the door as not to allow the latch to slam shut and awaken the man left spent in the bed, simultaneously she clicked on the light. She caught her reflection if only briefly in the mirror. Her disgust in her decisions of the evening prior and the acts of debauchery in the room outside prevented her from making eye contact with herself. She had been here before. The men, the sex, the sneaking away in the night with a handful of stolen cash and pills from the medicine cabinet. She was no stranger to these times. “Get your shit together Angie, and get moving” her pounding head replayed like a defective iPod.

Angie was still too drunk and high to care or notice that the toilet seat was up. “Typical pig” Angie thought to herself as she lowered her ass down on the cold porcelain of the bowl. For a second she smiled and thought it felt good on the fresh welts across her bare ass. As she slowly flexed her Kegel muscles and strained to urinate she could feel the spent seed from the barely conscious man in the room next door leave her body. Outside of meeting at the bar the night before she didn’t know the man. This wasn’t her first rodeo with having unprotected sex with a strange man. She preferred it that way. The additional risk of contracting some strange disease from a nameless soul heightened her sexual gratification. Bareback Angie is what all the boys in the fraternity called her. She smiled at the distant memory as she continued to relieve herself in the sleeping mans master bath. Just as she was about to finish her stomach churned and she gulped. She wasn’t finished and continued to evacuate not only her bladder but also her bowels. “We’ll theres that steak from Thursday” Angie guessed to herself while holding back a slight gag from the odoriferous smell. It took a half a roll of toilet paper to sufficiently clean herself. Angie knew there was no way in hell what she deposited in the toilet with all the associated accoutrements were ever going to naturally see the inside plumbing of the structure she was soon to escape. “What the hell I’ll let sleeping Captain Asshole figure it out in the morning”. Bareback Angie also never flushes its her calling card.

Rifling through the mans medicine cabinet and pants on the bathroom floor Angie scored some hydrocodone, half a bottle of penicillin $130 in cash and what she guessed was some low grade Turkish hash. “Not a bad haul for an early Saturday morning” she hazily thought to herself. Angie turned off the light and slowly pushed open the bathroom door. She needed to find her clothes and she needed to get the hell out of that house.

Angie was soon on the floor on all fours. This wasn’t the first time she had been in this exact position. This time however there was no man behind her driving her face into the carpet. The man continued to snore from the bed as Angie felt around for her pants. She was safe for the time being but she could feel her anxiety building in her throbbing head to be anywhere but where she was.

Then it happened. How Angie kept from screaming even puzzled her. She knew what it was the moment it happened. “Its the assholes dog”. The man was an animal lover of sorts. Had an affinity for large American Bulldogs. “But he locked the dog in the kitchen what the fuck was he doing in the bedroom? What the fuck is this dog doing licking the crack of my ass?” Angie thought in a wave of terror as the cold nose of the dog gave a few whiffs of Angie’s stale balloon knot.

Angie was in trouble and she knew it. She tried to push the dog and “shoo” him away. Not happening. “Dozer” she recalled the man calling him last night was about eight pounds more then Angie weighed and built like a brick shithouse. Any attempt to stop the dog and Dozer in an octave lower then a pipe organ in the key of G would slowly growl and bare his teeth. The sleeping man would stir, snort and roll over to the other side of the bed each time the dog made a peep.

Angie was an admitted slut. Girls, boys, three ways you name it Angie had done it. There was even that one time in high school during a sleep over when she jerked off her friend Monica’s Golden Retriever for some school girl laughs in a game of spin the bottle. Angie had a feeling she was going to have to update the ol’ resume now.

Angie wasn’t getting off that easy tonight and for the second time in the last many hours Angie was getting railed from behind face in the carpet. This time it was Dozer the Pitbull doing the driving. Angie bit her lip to keep from wailing out. Soon it would be over. The dog will grunt hop off and Angie would be free, lucky in the fact he had stolen a half bottle of penicillin just a few short minutes before. She’d need the pills.

After Dozer had is way with Angie much as his master had a mere few hours before, he ambled back toward the kitchen to lay down near the air conditioning register in the floor. Dozer liked the cool air on his balls and often slept in the kitchen.

Angie knew her time was quickly counting down to vacate the premisses before the sleeping man or the dog awoke for a stab at round two. She finally found her pants and blouse crumpled in the corner of the room. Her thong panties were gone. She didn’t care. Angie slipped her pants and blouse on, stuffed the drugs and cash in a pocket and headed for the door. One shoe near the couch, and another was picked up by the front foyer. She bolted.

Angie had about a two mile walk back to the bar to get her car. Two miles is a decent distance to walk and think about how far ones life has slipped the bounds of decency. Bareback Angie however doesn’t think about these things. She does what she likes. She lives for no one but herself. On this particular walk back, Angie tried to categorize the evenings sexual encounter into a level of pleasure. She couldn’t do it. Her pause came knowing sex with animals is morally and ethically wrong, but for the life of her she couldn’t decide what she got more pleasure from. The unknown man or the unknown man’s faithful dog.

Angie crushed a Hydrocodone pill and snorted it. She debated whether to shower as soon as she got home or to wait and savor things. She was now torn and sexually aroused thinking about the unknown man and his dog. She looked over her shoulder in the direction of the unknown mans house.

One day she would go back……….

 

Ok, so there you have it. Part One of Angie’s Adventures. (working title) I like to flesh the characters out a bit so I can’t just jump in to the murder and whatnot. Hope you like it. Whats the next holiday? Valentines Day? Oh the possibilities!

Merry Christmas kids!

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

It’s Beginning to Look A lot Like..

Elf…something. Just not Christmas. Where the hell has the time gone? It was Thanksgiving just yesterday and tomorrow is Christmas. Well not literally but you know what I mean. Every time I turn around it seems like another month has escaped me.

Thanksgiving this year was spent with friends and family. A special and admittedly belated thanks goes out to the Busby’s for allowing me to crash their thanksgiving meal after work. Amy outdid herself with stuffed mushrooms and artichoke while Allen deep fried a bird. A small group of us got together to share a meal. Its these times, I believe, where you can sit down with friends and family and eat together where one really appreciates what one has in life. It doesn’t take much to be happy, but when shared with those in your life it certainly rejuvenates one soul.

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That was my traditional Thanksgiving this year. Many thanks Amy and Allen. Oh and Debbie. That cranberry jello walnuts stuff was pretty damn good.

Ok that catches me up for November. Lets get to work on December. Pretty much all that comes to my mind so far in December is a simple, “WTF”

Of course Mr. Obama hauls ass to Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. Expected no biggie right? Sure. No Problem. Except one little thing. Well two little things actually. Barry pisses off the wookie Michelle Obama when he grabs a selfie with the hot blond white girl ambassador or prime minister of some nordic country sitting next to him. Second was the douche bag hearing impaired interpreter that really didn’t know the first goddamn thing in sign language. 

Yes its true. During Nelson Mandela’s memorial service the gentleman who was a foot away from the podium translating famous world leaders (including Obama’s) speeches into sign language for the hearing impaired was in fact doing nothing more then waving runners home on infield triples. I am not kidding. You can’t make this shit up, he didn’t “sign” the first word in accepted sign language.

Ok thats a little weird right? Its gets better. A day or so later when the news spreads that this poor bastard doesn’t know shit, he comes out that “I am schizophrenic and was having a hallucination” to explain his rather odd behavior while attempting to translate the speeches. Finally some truth. The guy is actually schizophrenic. Yep nuttier then squirrel shit. In fact has a criminal record a mile long. Charged with rape, murder and a half a dozen other violent crimes.

I have been thinking how crazy is this poor bastard and the situation he gotten himself into? What possibly could be said or done to take the spot light off this guy and be even more ridiculous then this buffoon on a national stage next to world leaders essentially playing retarded patty cakes?

Well you guessed it. Our secret service puts our fucking President within two feet of this guy! Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Obama makes Jimmy Carter look like Sir Isaac Fucking Newton. However I do not want to see our President next to some African nut job on the worlds stage attacked and hacked to pieces with a machete. Where the fuck was the secret service on this one? Oh I know. Probably with the NSA watching all the fucking porn I am surfing. Go USA. America #1!!

pissedAnd when you think Mr Obama can’t plunge us into anymore of a bizarro world, I believe he stroked off Raul Castro somewhere exit stage left. To think all Michelle Obama the wookie cared about was when she was overheard saying “dis nigga best stay away from those honkey bitches with his selfie picture taking ass”.

Changing gears a bit.

Lately in the news I have been hearing a lot about this musical act or this artist canceling shows at Sea World.

I guess Sea World in Orlando from time to time has musical concerts at the theme park. I don’t associate Sea World with national musical acts but I guess its a thing now. Hey all the power to them I guess. Its a free world after all.

Anyway as it turns out these musical acts and artists are canceling shows at Sea World because of a recent documentary concerning Sea World and their Orca whales. The name of the movie is titled “BlackFish”. I found it on Netflix this weekend and watched it. Its also on Apple TV and probably most video on demand pay per views with most regional cable tv providers.

I would suggest anyone to watch this movie. Like most documentary movies you have to take it all with a grain of salt and understand the writers, directors, producers have a certain agenda. You have to watch with an open mind, separate fact from opinion and conclude your own position.

All that being said, again I say watch the movie. It may open your eyes to something I can safely assume most of us have ignored or blindly accepted.

Most of you know I live in Florida. Most of you live here too. For those of you who live out of state, or in another country, Sea World is in my back yard. You know it as a Disney like attraction in Orlando. It is. Its a company out to make money. They do. I have grown up around the ocean. I kill and eat the animals I have harvested from the ocean. Generally speaking I think I have been a good steward of the environment. Never take what I can’t eat on the sea or land. Never needlessly be cruel to animals domestic or wild.

I have been to Sea World more then a half dozen times in my life. I know the Sea World company line. “We are here to show, teach, learn about the animals of the oceans”. You hear and see it on the news and TV. Sea World is no different then a zoo, whats the big deal? Right?

What Sea World knows and does to the Orcas (killer whales) is appalling and disgraceful. I can remember going to Sea World as a small child. Shamu the killer whale was the main attraction at the time. The original Shamu is long gone. Now its a whale named Tilikum.

What Sea World doesn’t tell you or the trainers at the time is pretty astonishing. You know trainers that used to swim and run the shows with the whales at Sea World whom by the way are NOT marine biologists with advanced degrees, nope just good swimmers ,is that Tilikum has killed as of today three people while in captivity.

You see every other marine biologist or zoological expert that knows anything about Orcas in the wild will tell you that Orcas do not thrive in captivity. Since Sea World has been banned in pretty much all the states in this nation where Orcas exist and in other nations from taking Orcas from the wild they have been using Tilikum as the head of their in house breeding program. Yep they stud him out and he has sired more then twenty killer whales in captivity with about eleven surviving today.

So whats the problem Brock? They are making their own killer whales now and not taking anything from the wild. That would be ok but heres the only problem. Tilikum as been in captivity for so long and is so emotionally screwed up what you see as a killer whale is not at all what a killer whale in the wild is actually like.

Look at it like this. Imagine if you will that from today forward the only way to extend the human race was to be artificially inseminated with cum from Charles Manson.

Tilikum killed his first trainer twenty something years ago while in a Sea Land park in British Columbia. From there Sea World brought him to Orlando where he killed a civilian (whom sea world claimed stayed in park over night and snuck in to the tank to swim with Tilikum) around the year 2000. Then again around 2009 you probably remember the news when Tilikum grabbed the female trainer and killed her in front of a crowd.

TilikumHere’s  some more facts Sea World will not tell you. Orcas in the wild live about as long as humans. 70+ years. In captivity about 35 years.  Notice the dorsal fin curled over in the picture of Tilikum? No killer whale ever observed in the wild has shown this dorsal fin curled over. Only in captivity does this happen to killer whales and its a sign of mental distress. Killer whales in captivity regularly bite and attack each other. Killer whales in the wild seldom do this. Killer whales in the wild mate and the offspring stay with the mother forever and live in autonomous pods for life with their own specific language. There is no recorded event in history of a killer whale in the wild killing a human. Only whales in captivity have ever killed a human.

What is this rant about Brock? I don’t even know that this is a rant. Merely a discussion and factual talk about what Sea World and other animal entertainment like organizations claim they are providing for scientific research and the reality of the almighty dollar.

I am a capitalist. Make money if you can make money. Even use a captured animal from the wild if you want to. Go for it. Wrestle alligators. Charm deadly snakes. Stick your head in a lions open mouth. Knock yourself out. Where I have a problem is the world of bullshit you use to misinform people with to gain acceptance and justify the inhumane and shitty treatment of the animals to the extent of deadly attacks on the staff and general danger to the public.

If I choose to go to a circus in town and see the animals and a pissed off elephant goes crazy and tramples me and my kid to death then so be it. I know the circus is bullshit and mistreat animals and its my choice. Im informed and I accepted the risk. If i am attacked and killed I should get nothing. If I choose not to go to the circus and give them my money then the circus gets nothing. All is fair and everyone is equally informed. See how that works? Pretty simple right?

Sea World will have you believe what they are doing with the Orcas, Dolphins, Manatees, Sea Lions, Polar Bears, and every other damn thing they have swimming in a tank is for science, and the betterment of human kind from the understanding of our environment. That is clearly a load of fat bullshit. Its about making money through the exploitation of wild animals. I think they have a right to do it and you have a right to choose to spend your money going to see it. However, in your freedom, do it with honesty and be informed. Sure you will see beautiful and intelligent animals. Just know that it is nothing at all what those animals do or represent in the wild.

Alright I have rambled along enough. Lets try and wrap this bitch up and make some sense. Easy. Everything in life is like this. This isn’t just Sea World and Killer whales. Its also Walmart and cheap shoes. Its Obamacare. Its religion. Its taxes. Don’t blindly accept the picture on the outside and what you can easily see. Don’t let anyone do the thinking for you. Be honest look for the truth and then decide.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Sunday Morning Math and the Single Bullet Theory

What’s going on my faithful? Nothing new here. Work schedule has been holding my attention more then I’d like to admit, but I suspect this is nothing out of the ordinary for anyone else as well.

Lets talk a little about some simple math that I have been thinking about lately. In my day to day life in the back of my head I have been hearing two things, hunger and obesity in the US. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “what the hell got into your head to think of those two statistics?” HEY don’t judge! I hear the shit on TV in the background or see it on the internet while surfing for free porn. Whatever!

Anyway, it got me to thinking. All I hear about is the number of americans who go hungry and the number of americans who are fat fucks! So I spent about thirty seconds of Google-Fu to look up a few statistics.

According to most reputable sources CDC/FDA etc, one in six americans are “food insecure”. Meaning out of six americans one is going hungry. Ok I can see that.

Lets look at another statistic. According to most reputable sources again the CDC/FDA 1/3 of americans are classified as clinically obese. i.e. Fat fucks! If we take the same six americans above, two of the six are fat asses. Ok I can see that too.

Now lets look at the six americans. One is hungry or starving, two are fat fucks eating too much. What about the other three? Who are the other three? According to the IRS and Census more then 50% of the able bodied people of working age pay zero (0) taxes.

This is obviously an over simplification of some very basic statistical analysis. Granted the one starving and the two fat fucks of the six also count children not just able body work aged adults. One could draw many conclusions about the population of this country, but the simple undeniable conclusion remains. Who the fuck is in charge of this nation and how the fuck did we as a nation get so blinded to simple right and wrong to elect these imbeciles that may think these statistics are ok?

Forget Iran, Iraq and Israel for a second. Forget about some bullshit forced healthcare, and forget about what two gay men or women do in the privacy of their own homes.  Forget about Hector the illegal landscaper who cuts your grass or lays your tile. Forget for just a second the whack job retarded kid who couldn’t take an insult when called a nerd or pussy in high school then takes his crackpot mothers guns and kills all the teachers and kids at the school.

Forget all that shit for a second.

We have allowed. We have elected. We have sanctioned and put in power, people in this country who stand up and speak for us all, that very simply think its ok for one of you starve, two of you to eat yourselves to death, and three of you to not do shit at all but take a free fucking ride!

Who the hell do you blame for this? Bush? Obama? Republicans? Democrats? NBC? FOX? Wall Street?

Look in the mirror. Look at your neighbor.

Speaking of elected officials. This past week was also the 50th anniversary of the assignation of President John F. Kennedy. Its always the same. Oswald acted alone. Oswald didn’t act alone. Experts proved he could have gotten the shots off. Experts have proved he couldn’t have acted alone and had help.

Here is what I think. Who gives a shit who killed JFK? At least someone had the balls (or hairs for you powerful women out there :-P) to at least do something. No really. I am not advocating all out wholesale assassination of our inept elected officials. There is one undeniable fact. Its gets the point across.

Think about it for a second. These career politicians get into office and do whatever they like. Sure it starts out with the “serving his/her constituents” but soon its serving big interests with unlimited money. They write and create laws that protect their abhorrent behavior and what are we the people left with? I’ll tell you what we have. One of you starving, two of you eating yourself to death, and three of you not doing a fuck all to contribute anything to this nation.

How do we take back our government? Like I said, I’m not an advocate for murder and assassination but if I was an elected official and had a choice between say bankrupting the nation, saddling my kids, kid and their kids, with future debt and no hope for prosperity or overhauling healthcare in a way that protected everyone in a voluntary, free market way without the overzealous use of lawyers / tort law or the proposition of a bullet to my head, I could probably find a way to do the hard work.

Kennedy through our media over the years has been made into this “great President”. I mean when you get your brains blown out in front of everyone, sure I can see how survivors remorse and national shame would elevate someones legacy. What people fail to realize is Kennedy was at the time a mediocre trending towards “shit” president. Sure Kennedy did good, but he also did bad. A lot of people hated Kennedy and I am not talking a handful of southern racists either. His father Joe was a known scumbag and his brother Robert as the Attorney General was a shitbird. Robert got his in 1968. Shocker. Not really.

In the end JFK was laying major legislative groundwork to wrestle away more power and freedoms from you and I to give to politicians to act in a way…well to act in a way that they act like now. Without consequence.

If you think about it in 1963 it wasn’t that hard to blow away the President. Oswald did it. Probably. Most likely. He got a shot off for certain anyway. Why the conspiracy theory to this day? Probably to keep from showing just how easy it is for the people to take this country back and wrestle away the power that belongs to you and I instead of career politicians.

Its 2013 now. Chances are slim to none of successfully shooting the president. Hell you can’t even talk about it without raising concern. That being said we still have something more powerful then a bullet. We have the vote. Its just a shame that we have been bullshitted and indoctrinated by a media, special interests, and our own government that the one thing we still have does not carry the same weight and consequences as the other.

In closing when you hear the politicians and your neighbors talk about taking away your rights to guns and bullets, know that to them its no different then taking away your vote.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Happy Birthday MARINES.

marine-emblem-292x300Jesus its November already. More importantly it’t 10 November. I know my birthday. I know my fathers. I think my mothers is tomorrow. I know my brothers are in March. I think valentines day is in February, and my parents anniversary is  some time in June. I can’t tell you my nieces birthdays but I can tell you one thing for sure.

Its the Goddamn MARINE CORPS birthday today. Happy 238 years MARINES. SEMPER FIDELIS! I miss my friends.

I am 43 years old this year. I finally joined my local Marine Corps League. I am, I believe the youngest in the group. I now belong to the Jack Ivy Detachment 666 of the Marine Corps League. Satan’s own! We meet once a month at some Elks lodge and shoot the shit, raise money for charitable causes and basically enjoy each others camaraderie.

I am in a room with mostly Korean war and Vietnam era Marine Corps veterans. I am still figuring out where I will fit in with the group as far as my participation, but one thing is for sure, and what still fascinates me to this very day. I can walk in sit down with a bunch of men I have never met in my life or know and be at home without saying a word.

You can look around the room at the faces and theres an unspoken understanding of stories and experiences unknown. You are part of a group that will never be taken from you. A family you will always have.

This past week there was an old guy in the room. Navy veteran. Served in WWII. He was made an honorary member of the detachment for some of his past participation. He gets up and accepts his little plaque and relates a simple story.

I was at Iwo Jima on a battleship. I saw the flag go up on Mt Suribachi. All the ships around Iwo started blasting their horns. We had 80 Marines on the ship and what I saw and knew what was going on ashore, those Marines were incredible. I haven’t admired anyone as much since then.

The air in the room was still. There is no words to describe how you feel. You simply sit there. You think about good times, faces of the past whom have left us and how even in the worst of times how much you wish you could go back there even if just for a moment to re-live that experience.

On this veterans day weekend, think about what you have in terms of freedoms. In the simplest of terms there are fewer and fewer men and woman of a generation who went forward and fought tyranny in ways that are indescribable to this day. You probably do not even know what they have done. They willfully chose to go forward, without political affiliation or whether the cause was just, but simply because each felt it was right and had to be done.

If you look even deeper into some of these men and their acts of heroism and valor they displayed you will find it had in most cases shit all to do with you our America. It was very simply more to do with a buddy to his left or right.  The Marines I know are like this. Marines have stopped and beaten anyone thats ever taken a shot at us. Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Cubans, Panamanians, Iraqis, Taliban. Historically speaking the US Marines have never left a battlefield beaten. The ultimate outcome of a war may not have been categorized as a win or lose, but one thing is for sure, the Marine Corps have never lost a battle.

There is good reason the Marines are called the finest fighting force the world has ever seen.

Its easy to thank a veteran. Its easy for TGI Fridays to give away a meal. Its easy to let an old man with a Marines Corps baseball hat go in front of you while in the grocery store line.  Its easy to take a day out of the year and go see a parade and raise a flag in their honor. Those are the easy things.

You want to make a difference? You want to truly thank a veteran? Educate yourselves and go fucking VOTE. Do not listen to NBC or FOX. Educate yourselves on the issues that have made this country great. Educate yourselves on what this country needs in leadership. Then Vote. When you go and vote and pull the hammer or punch the chad, ask yourself, a very simple question. How do my actions today in this little voting booth best pay tribute to the millions of men and women who have gone forward for this country for the simplest of reasons if only that we are all free in the pursuit of happiness? You vote.

Semper Fidelis Marines and Happy Birthday.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Devils Night 2014

brock18…or how most refer to as my birthday. Yep the big four three today. To be honest with you I really don’t feel forty-three. Hell I don’t feel forty or thirty-five. I guess in the grand scheme of things its good I don’t feel my age. I have never particularly acted it, so I guess it only goes to show that I don’t feel it either.

Technically, I am middle aged. I can only hope to live to eighty-six years old in relative good health.  So I am middle aged, and eternally single it seems. I just don’t get out much and meet new people. As far as a mid-life crisis I either haven’t had one, or have been in one the last twenty something years. I haven’t particularly grown stale in long term relationships (although I have been lucky enough to love a handful of some great women and a couple of cunts) and needed to go out and sow my wild oats or buy Corvettes. I have always gone after the women I wanted when I wanted, and as far as toys, I bought them all. Cars, trucks, motorcycles, tools, guns, TV you name it. If I wanted it I bought it.

Sometimes I wonder what if I had done this or accepted and settled down with that? In the end I figure I am right where I want to be. Happy. Could that include someone else in the future? I have no idea and thats what I like the most. Every new day is an adventure. I do know what I won’t give up and thats “me”. I am going to be me and me is content.

When I look back on my first half of life, certainly there are things I would like to have done differently. However in the end everything I have done to get me to this point the good, bad and ugly, has made me what I am today. In the big picture I can honestly say, I am one blessed motherfucker and try very hard to live with no regrets.

My family is golden. We’re no better or worse then any other and frankly most may even consider us functioning at the middle range of disfunction. Thats all ok. In the end I can honestly say through everything we all love each other and have each others back. Its my opinion that you’re basically shit without family. I have mine and thats like winning the lotto.

Friends. You want to judge someone? Easy. Just look at their friends. I have a metric shit ton of them. Some new some old. I can honestly say, if I lined up all my friends whom I think would stand up for me and admit saying “Yes I know him and he’s my friend” I would give the Dali Lama, Mother Teresa, Hunter S. Thompson, and Bob Hope a run for their money in the friend department. I couldn’t be more blessed in this regard.

My dogs seem to love me. Dogs can pretty much sniff out a scumbag at birth. Mine seem to appreciate and love me. I am winning in this subject for sure.

My nieces are a bit young yet, but I figure I’ll buy them their first beer, kick the shit out of the first scumbag boys that try and take advantage of them and teach them how to truly craft a string of profanity that would make any sailor or longshoremen blush. I’m sure they’ll appreciate these things later in life.

I am content, happy and forty-three today. What will the next forty-three years bring me? No clue, but I am looking forward to every one of those years with wide eyed wonder and abandon. I have learned some valuable lessons to get me to where I am today, and if by some chance I get more opportunities to strike with this hard learned knowledge the world is my oyster. If not? Well I’ll sit back, jerk off to some internet porn, pet the dogs, take a nap and call up some friends for dinner or a drink. I mean what else do I have to worry about? Signing up for Obamacare?

In the mighty words of Walter Sobchak, “Fuck it Dude. Lets go bowling.”

Thanks for all the birthday wishes on Facebook, Text messages, Tweets, etc. You know who you are, and I hope you know how much each of you means to me. It’s only 10PM and I still have a chocolate strawberry cake and a hand job coming to me . 😛

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

The Times are Changing

dylanShits about to get real my friends.

I am sorry my updates have been slowing down the last couple of months. Sometimes life gets to a certain speed and things become reorganized in a way that prevents us from following up in a timely manner. I make no excuses for the things I can change, I’ll just march forward.

I have a shit ton on my mind this morning. I will warn you now, I have a gut feeling this update is going into the TLDR stratosphere. I’ll try and organize my thoughts in a way that you Monday to Friday nine to fiver types may be able to break out bits and pieces and enjoy my awesomeness all week. If you can’t get a good laugh, a “fuck yeah” or a tear out of this then my mojo is severely lacking.

Might as well attack the first thing on my mind. This government shut down.

I personally don’t give a shit about the shut down. What I find interesting is how our mainstream media reports about it and the general idiocy of the population of this country. The blame game going back and forth is laughable. Republicans this Democrats that.

There is good and bad on both sides of the political aisle. There is equal blame to be placed on both republicans and democrats. This isn’t a new development. This has been true for more years then any of us reading this have been alive. The real problem we have as a country is the shit bird we elected into the White House. I am sorry folks he’s the President and our Commander in Chief and rightfully I should show a hell of a lot more respect for the office then referring to him as a shit bird but I simply can not. Not as an American. Not as a Marine Corps veteran, not as a patriot and certainly not as a simple law abiding (most of the time anyway) tax paying citizen.

President Obama (and I use the term loosely) was elected to office on the promise of reforming medical care insurance and coverage to people of all walks of life. A nice idea in principal but none the less we ended up with the Affordable Care Act. Obamacare for short. Its essentially an abortion of a law/bill. It doesn’t fix the problems with healthcare costs or insurance but merely places (mandates) more risk onto the insurance carriers and the free market healthcare industry. Anyway its a shitty bill and law. Does anyone here remember the “we have to pass the bill to find out whats in it.” Yes that ought to give you an idea of the capacity of our elected representatives that should be looking out for our interests.

Anyway in a nutshell Obamacare through smoke and mirrors and a heavy dose of “party” bullshit gives the illusion that healthcare is affordable and cheap and now everyone can be covered. If you have half a brain and have done the least bit of research into this subject furthermore you are capable of balancing your checkbook, then you know Obamacare is a pack of fucking lies. Someone HAS to pay for the additional coverage. Someone now has to pay for all the people with existing health related problems the insurance companies have to by law cover. Obamacare does NOT work. Its not fiscally sustainable. President Obama going on five years of holding the highest office in the land can not and has not put together a fiscal budget to run this country yet wants us to believe that Obamacare will somehow magically work?! Come on, say it with me folks. “What the Motherfuck?”

During President Obama’s first term when the bill was signed into law, many states tried to fight it. The bill went to the supreme court. None the less parts of the bill were deemed legal, and we found ourselves stuck with it legally for the time being anyway.

Now we’re in the middle of its implementation. The only option left to our representatives to try and save ourselves from this abomination of a healthcare law is to deal with its actual funding. The idea is if we can’t repeal the horrible law, then we can simply not fund the law. It would theoretically go nowhere. Money makes the word go around.

Our congress which by our very own CONSTITUTION is in place to dictate via a vote of our elected representatives, what we (United States Government because WE are the Government) can spend money on. In a last ditch effort congress decided NOT to fund Obamacare. We expect our congress to do this. Our constitution mandates that congress decides where our money goes. Well our congress voted not to fund Obamacare. Our congress also voted not to fund any other government activity until some of the more detrimental to our economy and freedom portions of Obamacare are repealed and or modified. The only problem is our President whom we elected to lead our nation of both democrats and republicans will NOT in any way sit down and listen and or adjust his very personal but equally bad healthcare law to something more economically feasible and sustainable for future generations.

Here is what the media who loves Obama does not tell you. Our congress has decided and voted affirmatively to fund all the other important parts of the government with the exception of Obamacare and keep things moving. Mr Harry Reid in the Senate will not bring to a vote to ratify any of the congressional votes/bills to keep the government running while the Obamacare law gets no funding. He wants an everything or nothing type of deal from congress. Mr. Harry Reid is a democrat long on the dick of Mr. Obama for all you keeping score at home.

You’re probably now thinking “Brock what exactly is the Presidents place in all this, why the unadulterated hatred and disdain?” I’ll tell you. A President can be either a democrat or republican but once you get to office your job as President is to represent all of us. This one does NOT.

The President refuses to sit down with congress and adjust Obamcare. He will not even talk about its adjustment or modification. Its his baby and in his warped mind his legacy. President Obama thinks if he sits with congress and adjusts portions of it to more suitably do what its supposed to do, it will as a bad and horrible law, go away and in the end Mr. Obama is nothing. That part remains to be seen but that is what this egomaniac thinks in his head.

But wait there is more!

Now that the government is shut down and at a standstill President Obama in his lack to admit to his fallibility and that his healthcare law is severely flawed, wants to somehow place the blame on the republicans and congress for the shut down. Remember kids our Constitution mandates our congress decides where our money goes. Remember kids our congress voted and came up with plans to fund all other important parts of our government while we fix Obamacare. Can you guess who says “no” and keeps things as they are?

But wait there is even more!

To try and sway the idiocy of the population of this country even more (the dumb ones are generally supporters of President Obama) President Obama has chosen to use the government shut down to place MORE and undue strain on the american people. President Obama wants to hurt the american people with the shut down (needlessly mind you) to try and place more stress on congress and the republicans and get them to concede to his horrible healthcare law as is. The law simply does not work as written. A child with an eighth grade education in simple economics can tell you this.

Since the government shut down, national parks, monuments, and memorials all around the country do not have the staff or infrastructure to run. (duh government employees) However some of these parks, monuments, and memorials have no (ZERO) personnel to run them anyway and should be open to the public. More importantly have remained open to the pubic in the past during similar shut downs. This time to place more pressure on you and me the american people, President Obama has ordered the barricade and shut down of important memorials such as the World War II memorial in Washington. The Lincoln Memorial, The MARINE CORPS Memorial, The Vietnam Wall the list goes on. The most important thing to understand is these memorials didn’t in the past have any real personnel to run. They are outdoor monuments and memorials.

These memorials and monuments belong to you and me. For Christ sakes private citizens are taking over the grounds maintenance with their own lawnmowers!  They have never been shut down in the past. But to somehow inflict more pain on you and me and get us to somehow mistake and place the blame on our congress for this shut down Obama has barricaded the memorials and monuments away from mostly veterans who fought and served this country.  All this over a fucking horrible healthcare law he refuses to sit down and try and adjust and fix. Obama is having 90 year old world war two veterans arrested who chose to ignore his asinine barricades and enter the monuments and memorials. Did you just fucking read what I wrote? Please for the love of Christ, read this paragraph three times!

Well this weekend some veterans showed up to Washington and they had a message for President Obama.Barrycades

Take your barricades and GO FUCK YOURSELF!

What do I think about the shut down? Let it stay shut the hell down. Don’t let the mainstream media fool you into thinking this mess isn’t the President’s fault. He does not represent all of us. He is not a leader, and frankly he is an embarrassment to this nation to which the likes of William Taft and Jimmy Carter can sit back and say “Jesus this guy truly is a world class asshole!”

All this because President Obama refuses to sit down and talk about his baby, the AHA. Remember kids the man claims his Obamacare is so perfect and deserves not even the slightest of review that he is willing to arrest 90 year old veterans who fought and gave parts of their bodies for this country and freedom. Remember the same program that had three and a half years and $600+ million dollars to set up the online exchanges that in two weeks have yet to be able to sign up people for the fucking insurance that is being mandated upon us.

“Well Brock, so many people believe in Obamacare and are trying to sign up they are overloading the system.” BULL FUCKING SHIT. Do NOT let the mainstream media or the Obama administration trick you into believing this load of crap.

Yes the system is being overloaded. Not because we believe and want it. Its because Obama made it the goddamn LAW! Most of us even in our disdain for Obama are law abiding citizens. Of course we are going to sign up. He made it law. Yet in three and a half years and spending over $600 million dollars to put a system in place this administration couldn’t make a system to support the load it would be under starting on day one? Are you kidding me? When was the last time Google, Amazon, Netflix, Facebook, Yahoo, Microsoft, came out with a product that after two weeks still couldn’t do its most basic and fundamental task? Yet we should all think Obamacare deserves no scrutiny!? President Obama can’t even sign us up into his fucking system, yet somehow magically it will not bankrupt the nation into oblivion.

Sorry folks, I’ll be the first person to say I generally hate all politicians since they’re all scumbags, but this is not a congress or a republican problem or their fault. This is a last ditch effort to save us from the abyss of fiscal insanity and erosions of simple personal freedoms. What we are lacking as a nation is a true leader who has all of our interests at heart.

How hard is it to see the emperors real clothes when he sends coffee and port a potties to occupy wall street, but arrests 90 year old war veterans outside memorials and monuments erected to the very freedoms this scumbag has never in his life worked for nor earned? Not by birthright, not by action, and certainly not be deed.

We have come a long way, and times are a changing thats for sure. Which side will you come down on? Me? I try and rely on no one but when it comes time and time will come, I’ll do what needs to be done for me, my family, and friends. I will not surrender to this bullshit and allow those to take from me that of which I have earned. Not my money, not my freedom.

We’re mid way through October. My month, the awesome month. The weather is breaking so part of me thinks about firing up the oven and cake. I like cake. I like pie too. Then part of me thinks, eh. I don’t know what I am in the mood for. Everything looks nice nothing looks nice. Except a nice meatball sub. Nothing in the world is as nice as a good meatball sub except maybe the Indy 500.

I do not usually pass out candy on Halloween. I mean I have tried in the past to show some spirit. I love Halloween and the holiday. I have bought the candy with intentions to pass it out. I usually end up eating 3/4 of the shit myself. I know I am going to do it when I buy the candy too. Yet I still go through the motions. I buy one of the big bags of candy, eat most of the contents leading up to Halloween with the rationalization I’ll just buy more. I never buy more. I get to Halloween look and see that I only have a small amount left and figure to myself no sense in passing this little bit out. I just turn out lights, not answer the door and keep the last bit for myself. A viscous cycle that repeats itself year after year. See I have no kids to whore out and pull in my own pillow case of sugary goodness. My eternal bachelorhood and freedom to do what I want when I want and all the toys that go along with that lifestyle does have some draw backs.

Mostly I love Halloween for the parties. My birthday is October 30th (shameless plug mark your calendars) Devils night. When I tell people this, usually its a look and response like “yeah no shit, it all makes sense now.” Anyway, my birthday and then Halloween how can one go wrong with that? Generally over the years I have combined the celebrations together. There’s a few of us all with birthdays within a week of each other so more times then not we combine the parties into one night somewhere between all of us getting together and its nice. What I like most about Halloween however is now that I have some young nieces to see and enjoy the wickedness and teach to egg houses and light bags of dog shit on fire. I also enjoy the adult component of Halloween. What I have learned in life is that for the most part adult Halloween is women dressing like sluts.

Its the one day of the year that its perfectly ok for girls to dress rather provocatively. Now most of the women reading this right now are rolling their eyes in their head thinking “Brock doesn’t know shit.” No its true there are a few things I am a master at, and sexy sluts are one of them. You can try and convince yourself otherwise but I KNOW. Going to go as Sookie Stackhouse? mmmm hmmm. Or maybe little Bo Peep and her Sheep from the childhood nursery rhyme? Sure but in my Bo Peep or Little Red Ridinghoods in childhood neither of those ladies were skipping down the lane in sexy as hell thigh high stockings with the seam on the back and fuck me pumps. And all you ladies that have done this look I thank you and love you so goddamn much.

This year I want to see cowboy boots, shorts, and titties. I am on a country kick.  Pretend you’re Taylor Swift, or Daisy Duke I don’t care. Now that I think about it and if I am going to be truthful this has nothing to do with Halloween and I’d call this a Friday night. However if you need an excuse to dress up a little outside of your comfort zone and have the stems to pull it off, know that Halloween is there for you. I am there for you! I know slutty and Halloween is here for you.

These are the things on my brain this Monday morning. I should probably close this up before I cross the line of unmanageably too long and fuck this I am not reading that manifesto garbage.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.