Category Archives: Food

The Hits Keep Coming

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As I sit here this morning and think about this past week I have to wonder to myself, where the hell did the winners go? Mitt Romney please fall in to the line “B” loser express. Allen West please get in behind Romney, and now Miami Dolphins Football go get your ass into the FAIL line too. The carnival ride of “WTF happened” will commence in moments. The Hits Keep Coming.

The Titans came down to Florida yesterday and put a world class ass whooping on the Miami Dolphins. Its a game the Dolphins should have won. Much like Mitt Romney and Allen West there is plenty of misery going around the state this past week.

I went down to the game with some friends yesterday and aside from the beat down Miami took at the hands of Tennessee, it was a good time. Weather was excellent, we ate well and otherwise enjoyed each others company.

I know, you want to know what we ate while getting our tailgate on. Here, take a gander. Steak, potato salad crab stuffed mushrooms and shrimp skewers. There was some beers, chips and dip in there too. Back of a truck in a parking lot, not too shabby, until I took a little walk around. There are some folks there feeding a small army with enough great food to put a 3 star Michelin restaurant to shame.

The cheerleaders were nice to look at. Just thought I’d throw that out there. Probably should have let them suit up and play the Titans now that I think of it. The ladies probably would have done better then a 37-3 final. Oh well, I am not complaining. My NY Jets stunk the place up taking an equally embarrassing beating from the Seahawks with a 28-7 final.

So that pretty much sums up politics and NFL football so far for the month of November. Nothing has gone according to plan.

Luckily I have a great set of friends and family and no matter what we’ll ride these crappy times out looking after each other. As weekends go it wasn’t a bad one. Now if we can get through this Monday we’ll be golden.

Oh wait a second. I almost forgot. I believe I ate the best damn potato salad in my life yesterday. I mean potato salad is potato salad right? Wrong. I have made potato salad a million times, bought potato salad another million times. Potato salad dosn’t usually stand out to me. My friend Talisa made some for the game yesterday. There was bacon in it and I dont know what else but it was good. This is going to definitely affect the rotation on the dinner club meet ups. Thats all I am saying.

Alright thats it. Its Veterans day and I need to exercise my veteranism. I may post the story about when I was in the Marine Corps and during the civil war in Liberia in the early 90’s. I went ashore with the 26 MEU to evacuate the American Embassy in Monrovia.  Manning a machine gun post while watching the natives kill themselves was an adventure.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

I Will Survive in My Mach 5

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But I am blasting past,
with chickie on the dash
Chickie on the gas, go chickie! 

This is one of my nieces, Charlotte. She is about a year and a half old and almost getting to the age where I can teach her to say dirty words. She loves me. Her uncle will be so proud of her if I can get her to say “Bullshit” on Santa’s lap this year.

We’re in the final stretch and heading toward the election finish line. Can you feel it? Soon there will be no more annoying commercials. No more obnoxious tweets or Facebook posts. (yea right) Well you get the picture anyway.

Reality is Wednesday we’ll wake up and no matter who wins the election between then and January the mainstream media will inundate us with talk of election fraud, ballot tampering, lawsuits and how one party screwed the other. You heard it here first so get ready. Yes, I know its going to suck a little more, but look at it like this, we’ve got the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays fast approaching so there will be plenty of chances to escape the ugly reality of politics for a little while at least. A Romney win will also ease some tensions, but I think its too close to call.

Friday I met up with friends. We had dinner and hung out at a few of our old haunts. A good time was had by all. A friend on mine whom I have teased on this very blog about her baking and cooking skills gave me a cook book for my birthday. Its a reprint from 1957 and actually its pretty good. I suspect she got it as a joke, but I have actually spent the rest of the weekend reading it from cover to cover. My friend doesn’t know I actually look for and enjoy reading old cookbooks as a hobby.

Last week, I downloaded a .PDF of an original cookbook from Berkley, California from the 1960’s that used to be given away by a
grocery store co-op that is no longer in existence. It’s absolutely intriguing to read period cookbooks from the past to see how people ate. It can tell you a lot of things about the time and people. The foods are essentially the same as today, but you can definitely get a feeling for times past when someone is talking about making say a pot roast, with a chuck steak as being economical at .39 cents per pound for the meat. Furthermore, can you imagine look at and reading a recipe in a book that was last popular and seen by the likes of Janis Joplin and Charles Manson or Jimi Hendrix? That’s who was running around this area of California when this cookbook was in the hands of the hippies making love not war movement.

Don’t be surprised if you start seeing some old school recipes show up on the blog. If they turn out good, of course I’ll take credit. If not, then we’ll continue the trend of blaming Debbie or the hippies of the 1960’s. Kidding of course. Debbie doesn’t take any crap off me and is a good sport. The comment section of this blog proves that out.

In other news. I have an internet buddy who lives in Kentucky. He makes a BBQ and really an all purpose spice blend, seasoning. Steve sent me a couple of bottles to try out last week. I have only tasted it on my finger, but its damn good. Watch this space for a complete report. I am going to start using he hell out of it. I think you guys may like it. I have two bottles and may give one away here to a lucky reader but thats only if I can control myself from using both bottles Steve sent me. In any event I’ll set up some links and or emails so that you can order and get your own. It’s that good trust me. I damn near ate a finger off tasting this stuff.

Well that’s it for a Monday report. Get up early and go vote tomorrow. The country needs you more then ever now. Your vote matters. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Johnny was a school boy

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When he heard his first Beatles song.
Love Me Do, I think it was and from there it didn’t take him long.

Happy Monday gang. Yes I know Mondays are the worst. Watching the weekends go by, I am surprised they go so fast, looking around me, well I made the big time at last. Opps. Still channeling Paul Rogers and Bad Company. Did you know Elton John actually wrote Shooting Star? Bet you didn’t, but you do now.

Did you know Pete Townshend is credited with creating the Marshall Stack? Don’t know what a Marshall Stack is exactly? Been to a real rock and roll concert in your life? See the Marshall amps from floor to ceiling? Yea those. Pete Townshend of The Who requested more amplification from Marshall, who designed special 8X12″ cabinets with 100 watt tube amps. 1959 Marshall Super Lead was born. Townshend used 4 of these setups on stage. Love and loud music can cure your problems, you’re so lucking I am around.

Well, I guess I have get this next part over with sooner or later. I have tried to stall by dazzling you with catchy lyrics and rock and roll trivia long enough.

My New York football Jets took a good old fashioned ass whooping from the Miami Dolphins. They deserved every single bit of it too. No wonder Eva Longoria dumped Mark Sanchez. Sanchez is a retard (yes I said the word “retard” don’t shoot me pro-retard people) and as someone who didn’t and still doesn’t buy into the Tim Tebow hype machine, I am beginning to wish Ryan would start playing him and develop his arm. It would be nice to salvage next season with a capable quarter back and leader on the team, as it is now I think were circling the drain on this season. Division playoffs this year is a stretch.

I will say however the nicest part about watching my Jets lose these last two weeks has been the ass of my waitress at the local joint where my friends and I have been taking in the game. Its your typical NFL Sunday 5000 flat screen every game on tv kind of place. The waitstaff are all beautiful girls with football jerseys and very small short shorts. Our waitress these last two weeks has been the same girl. She has an incredible ass. As I sit here and reflect on its beauty and those awesome short shorts I have realized I may be growing up. Why? Because I just now realized for the last two Sundays in a row, I have taken pictures of the great wings this place makes but not one single “creep shot” of this girls great ass. The honeymoon on my lecherous life is over. I guess I am a big boy now. Alright I admit, she has a nice ass, but the rest of her is great too. She even brought me some birthday ice cream, thank you great ass waitress girl! I imagined eating it off her butt. Guess Im still a pig. Thanks to a great group of friends that put up with my twisted humor and logic too, I am pretty blessed to have a great group of people in my life.

So hurricane Sandy is going to douche out the northeast. I have a few friends and family up that way. I hope they wont be affected to badly. The rest of you humps I sure hope you get power and transportation restored quickly. Just a little FYI from a Florida hurricane veteran. It can take upwards of a month to restore power when a good hurricane comes ashore. This affects everything from gasoline at pumps and food in stores, so be patient. Oh yea, and I hope you bastards got your Obama early vote in too, because I would just be heart broken if you couldn’t vote in the general election on November 6th from lack of power and transportation. See even God and Mother Nature know Obama sucks.

I’ll get this posted up so I can go make some pie. I like pie. I like chocolate and peanut butter pie.

More tomorrow. Hang in folks and be safe if you live in the northeast.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

So long weekend we hardly knew you.

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As I sit here with mixed emotions pondering the weekend, I guess I have to say it was a good one. Well they are always good, just go by too fast which we have discussed previously.

Sunday I awoke to a small “Cool Front” here in sunny Florida. Cool is 77 degrees and humidity below 85 percent. Below 74 degrees and its freezing and I start swearing. It was like 69 degrees at 6:30 am Sunday. I headed for the central heat. Relax. I didn’t turn it on.

I did fire up the oven and make some cinnamon rolls though. I felt rather re-newed and in a fall-ish mood so figured what the hell. Facebooked my intentions for baking, and had some friends over to help me eat the goodness.

I put the recipe over in the recipe section.

Guys if you can change your own oil, fix a flat tire, and replace a burnt out light bulb, you can bake these. Now I know, you’re saying, “why the hell make those when I can buy them in the grocery store and be done in 30 minutes or less”? I’ll tell you why. It’s because these are better. They will always be better, and now listen to me closely. If you make these for say your wife or girlfriend you will score major points. Remember the pancakes and waffles I showed you a few weeks back? Same thing here. A woman will love you long time if you take a turn and cook for her once in a while. Sure you can impress her with some Pillsbury tube rolls from the dairy section. She’ll be so proud of you for making the effort. If you makes these from scratch and put in the little extra effort the rewards will be increased by a factor of say eight or nine. You are moving into well lets just say your moving into Corvettes and Harley Davidson territory and the other private things you only get on your birthdays. Ok maybe not, but it cleans up your “punk card” and puts credit in the bank for later screw up.

Yesterday afternoon I caught some football at a local joint with friends. I ate some wings and watched the Jets loose to the Patriots. I have been a Jets fan for many years but I am about the throw in the towel on Sanchez. I can put up with Rex Ryan’s fat ass.  The Tebow mania doesn’t bother me. That bumbling idiot Sanchez is getting on my nerves. Its understandable if Sanchez doesn’t have the necessary protection on the offensive line, but for Christ’s sake, if he needs to unload the ball 10 yards or less in a hurry he’s like a retarded moron. How can a NFL quarterback fire a ball 30 yards like a bullet but cant get it 10 feet when he’s under rush pressure? Then when the damn fool hangs on to the ball when he is in trouble, he can’t hang on to the thing and hit the ground without it popping into the opponents hands. It was hard to see them loose to New England last night. That should have been a win. Oh well. What are you going to do? Well I know what I would do. I would have Tebow’s ass throwing the ball 1500 times a day until he developed that arm into NFL material then tell him to put his magic Jesus underwear on and start him.

Speaking of Jesus and whatnot, yesterday I learned something. There are churches that have “love offerings” during the service. I also learned that certain people who may or may not attend these churches that have “love offerings” also have rather twisted and foul thoughts regarding certain acts of love. Now I am not purposely trying to be cryptic here because frankly I only got a portion of the conversation. The point is sometimes you hear the strangest things from some of the people whom you’d never expect to hear such things from. I almost blushed, in fact I may have. I cant say for certain if what this person was talking about and the love offerings at this particular church are connected, but I most certainly asked more about the church. I may need to get some of this churching in that my friend seems to be involved in. Im just saying. I’ll report back on this topic as I learn more.

Try and have a good Monday.

Let’er rip tater chip!

You don’t have to play

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You can follow or lead the way. 
 I want you to join together with the band,
We don’t know where we’re going,
But the season’s right for knowing,
I want you to join together with the band.

It’s humpday Wednesday again. I find myself wondering when will this awfully slow week end? Time just seems to be dragging along this week. This nonsense doesn’t happen between Friday afternoon and Monday morning.

Tomorrow is the vice presidential debate. I am eagerly waiting to see how Paul Ryan handles himself. My personal opinion is that a fifth grader should be able to intellectually checkmate Mr. Biden, but I am not assuming anything in this election. Paul Ryan is a smart man and he should decisively put the old fool away. Fingers are crossed.

Oh yeah, this just in. Don’t eat cockroaches for something so ridiculous as a free pet snake. Eating cockroaches generally isn’t harmful but being a dumb ass is proving to be lethal. A pet snake? Really? Ah NO.  A new Harley? Sure. A date with Jenny McCarthy and a bottle of Rohypnol? You betcha! Not a free pet snake.

Does anyone out there watch the seminal cable show on FX, Sons of Anarchy? In the last two weeks its beat everything on TV ratings wise. Kurt Sutter is the creator and writer. Its about a fictional motorcycle club. If you have not watched this program I suggest you get your Netflix fired up to catch the first three seasons, and by the time you are done with that you can catch the forth season playing now. Or is this currently the fifth season on TV now?  Hell I don’t know, but the show is 110% awesome. You don’t have to be a biker, like motorcycles, or Honey Boo Boo to like this show. The writing is perfection. I wont give any spoilers here. Watch it and come back with a two page written report for next weeks homework. Ok kidding about that last part. I was just testing out my school teacher voice.

Bananas are an awesome food. Potassium is good for your brain and the rest of your body. I like to eat bananas. Not when I am on the boat fishing. That shit is bad luck. All other times though bananas are fabulous. I especially like when I forget to eat bananas and they turn all brown and black. I turn that into banana bread. I have some in the oven right now.

Kelly Ripa made some flippant stereotype comment on her talk show yesterday about gangster dogs are probably some sort of mean Pit Bull type dogs. The internet is in an uproar about it and frankly I don’t blame it. Pit Bulls get a tremendously bad rap and its mostly by a very minority few people who know absolutely nothing about dogs at all. I’ve had in some way or other pit bulls all my life. My mother who will jump out of a moving car on the New Jersey Parkway if a bee flies into the window, has had Pit Bulls for years. Most of my close friends have one or more, and I happen to work with anywhere from a bakers dozen of them every week. In the care of knowledgeable, and loving people these dogs are probably one of the best breeds on the planet. The bad reputation these dogs have gotten over the years is in my opinion been a direct result of the people whom have owned the dogs.

Dogs are a lot like guns. There are toys that shoot caps and go bang that children can play with, and there are .50 Cal riffles that will bring down jumbo jets. Both guns in the proper hands and respected are safe and can be happily owned. If you give one of these guns to an idiot, even the toy cap gun can hurt somebody. Pit Bulls are much the same way, except the Pit Bull by its natural build is more towards the .50 Cal riffle then the toy cap gun in my above analogy. In abusive hands a Pit Bull can hurt someone. However in a loving home with responsible owners these dogs are some of the most loving and loyal dogs out of all the breeds.

That’s about it. Oh, I forgot to mention, I put chocolate chips in the banana bread.

That’s what I got for a Wednesday. Hang in there folks Friday is in sight.

B-cool
B-real
B-rock

I’ll meet you any time you want

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In our Italian restaurant. 

It is another Monday. Beware of the suckage. So far mine isn’t too bad and the weekend was nice.

The dinner club met again this weekend hosted by my friends Amy and Allen with six of our other close friends to even include a few associated children.

A funny thing, Amy was concerned that this meet up couldn’t be classified as an official “Dinner Club” assembly because she invited eight people, when in the past it was only been four of us. I explained to her that it was nonsense and it still counted as “Dinner Club” and that the more people the better. My home is a little smaller and I had set the precedence in the meet ups to four people, but as I think about it more and more I can feed and entertain more then four and I am going to do it next time. At least I’ll extend the invitation. Folding chairs and a TV tray around the table here I come.

Amy and Allen made one damn nice dinner. Sausage and peppers over spaghetti, garlic bread, and Cesar salad. Dessert was a lemon cake with whipped cream topping. It was an excellent meal, with a great group of friends.

There are a few thoughts I came away with from the dinner club meet up from last night. The first being, as a single middle aged man, my home is decorated or should I say lack of decorating in a very appropriate manner. I am not sure how I feel about it either. I am not messy, or ultra neat and my tastes are pretty utilitarian. There is no warmth here. The house is mine and its home but there is admittedly no woman’s touch. I don’t have an eye for decorating. I can spot good color combinations, good furniture and arrange them in appropriate ways to use space wisely and efficiently, but beyond that I am useless and have no idea. Pictures, plants, window treatments, table-scape, and I am like a politician is to honest. Just not there. It is not that I don’t want or wish my home had the warmth of a discerning eye of a great woman, its just I can definitely see that my home lacks it for certain.

The next thing I came away with is the reinforcement of the meaning of friendship. My refrigerator like most in the free world is a place for pizza, pest control, and other associated magnets. These magnets hold pictures of things I enjoy looking at. My nieces, goddaughter, and my dogs. A few years ago, Amy, Allen and myself would take our dogs (Lucille and Tucker) out on Amy and Allen’s boat to the intracoastal / sandbar and let the dogs swim and run all day. Amy took some pictures of Tucker and Lucille a few years ago and those pictures have been on my refrigerator ever since. Last night at dinner, Amy pointed out one of the same pictures of Lucille and Tucker on her refrigerator. Now I know for a fact Amy has had this picture of Tucker and Lucille on her fridge for some time. I have seen it there before. Last night however when Amy pointed out the picture to me, I dawned on me that these are friends. Lucille not only lives on in a pictures in my house with her buddy Tucker, but she also lives on in the thoughts of Amy and Allen too. All too often in our busy lives we forget and take for granted small things like friendships and people in our lives. All it takes is a simple picture on a refrigerator to remind you of that goodness. Last night I was reminded of that goodness again. When I thought no one was looking Tucker got a piece of my lemon cake right from my fork that I happily used after to keep eating the cake from his mouth to mine.

Today I am making turkey pot pie from scratch. I’ll post the recipe and writeup in the recipe section later. Its a good way to get rid of a lot of crap in the kitchen. You’ll enjoy this one.

Today I am also going to set up the end grain cutting board ordering page come hell or high water. I almost had it done Friday, but I broke the database with the application I had for the online ordering and spent most of Friday fixing what I broke. After some research and simplification I will try again.

Stay tuned.

Good morning sunshines or shut up get coffee!

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Here were are again. Another Monday another start to another wonderful week of work, and otherwise monotonous skullduggery to get us through to the next weekend. Never fear because I am here to help.

Finally this weekend I have found that Justin Bieber and myself have something in common. YES, can you believe it? I was utterly shocked as well. It seems we both feel the same exact way about his music and concert performances. Take a look. This is a full dose of awesome sauce from me to you. Well that is if awesome sauce is say….. a bag of Doritos and a quart of spoiled milk?

Who is singing while ol’ Bieb’s his hurking out his dinner on stage?

Does anyone have even the slightest idea of how pathetic this is? This little hump has something like a trillion followers on Twitter, Facebook, mommywasaslut.com

How is this Rock and Roll? How is this cool? Do you know how many hotel rooms Led Zeppelin trashed to be cool. How many times Keith Moon had to be carried off stage passed out from behind his drum kit in a puddle of his own piss and vomit. Hell even Axl Rose doesnt show up to his shows until he has combed all his pubic hairs, had his special Chai tea and painted his toenails.

Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Moon, Rhodes, Vaughn, Cobain, Staley is it any wonder why they all checked out long before their time? Maybe they were all visionaries that saw music heading into the abyss we now find ourselves mired in. If thats the case, who can blame them?

In any event, to watch Mr. Bieber puke and vomit while hunched over ass out to his adoring fans is a win for me on any Monday in my book. Enjoy.

Coffee is ready. Hang on a second and let me sooth my nerves.

Ahhhhh. That’s much better. Let’s continue shall we?

Football this weekend? Ugh! The Jets were supposed to play the 49’ers. Did anyone even notice if they showed up for the game? Who were the people wearing the green and white uniforms? Well a loss is a loss I guess. If you’re going to take a beating no sense in spending energy or risking additional injury defending against the inevitable.

October is an exciting month this year. Let me rephrase that last sentence. This particular October should be an exciting month. Presidential and vice presidential debates take place. If Mitt Romney has half a brain in his Mormon head or by chance someone running his election campaign has half a ball sack, they will have instructed and throughly prepared him to eviscerate President Obama to his soulless core every single question every single debate. Governor Romney needs to go for the throat and kill this bastard.

If it were me, nothing would be off limits. No matter the time limit or the question content. I would somehow for every time I open my mouth bring about the questions of Obama’s past. Topics would include but not limited to:

  • Obama’s communist father Frank Marshall Davis.
  • Obama’s association with Acorn and the typical Chicago corruption.
  • Obama’s association with Bill Ayers, Rev. Wright
  • Obama’s bogus SSN#
  • Obama’s college transcripts
  • Obama’s nepotism  in Chicago for getting Michelle $300,000/year hospital job (turning away indigent patients to other hospitals…IRONY),
  • Obama buying his home with assistance with felon Tony Rezko.
  • All the way down to his nose job and plastic surgery. Who is hiding why change appearances?

I would slit his throat in the debates!

The bullshit this President has pulled over the mindless sheep in this country boarders on criminal. We’ll see if Romney plays it safe or goes for the kill. If he has any sense he’ll realize what the play it safe and passive route got John McCain in 2008.

Do your homework folks. Look past the silly 15 and 30 second sound bites on TV and ask questions. The answers are out there. Just don’t be too shocked about the answers you find to your questions when you start to think on your own.

Enough political commentary for today. These thoughts are mine and mine only. I respect everyones position and theres room here for all.

Oh yeah, my birthday and Halloween is in October too!

Nothing special this weekend from the corporate kitchens with the exception of Belgian Waffles and a decent Pizza Slut clone of cheese sticks/bread. Keep your eyes on the recipe section for those entries.

However, today in appreciation and honor of Octoberfest. I will be making beef rouladen with a dill spaetzle. Some serious German eats yo! Or is that Yohan? Or Gunther or Wolfgang? Whatever, some good German food today. Will post the results later.

The blog has been alive about two months now. I have been thinking about some commercial interests and since we have been discussing a lot of food lately, it may be about time to introduce you to another passion of mine, woodworking. Some of you may already know this and  to some this may be new. I like wood. I have wood. 😉

Generally I have built mostly furniture, and some custom cabinetry. What I have enjoyed making in the past which have made great gifts and an obvious tie in to my love of making and shoving food down my throat is beautiful end grain cutting boards. Take a look.

I am thinking about making more cutting boards and selling them through this web site / blog. As you can see there are no limitations to color, size, or shape. The beauty to a properly made end grain cutting board is not only its appearance in your home, but if you are the least bit anal about your knives and cutlery you use in your kitchen then cutting food on an end grain cutting board is the best for your knives and keeps your blades sharper longer.

If you’re like me and pay upwards of $150+ for a professional Shun chef’s knife you care about trivial things like this. Everyone is like me right? LOL. Ok so you’re not so anal retentive or a maniac perfectionist when it comes to these matters. Well these cutting boards look damn good in any kitchen, and with minimal care last as long as you will live.

You want one of these cutting boards. You must have one of these cutting boards. You want one of these cutting boards for yourself, and you want to buy another to give to someone you care about for Christmas or the upcoming holidays. You must have one! When you sleep at night you dream about them! It’s all you can think about! You want to be the first one on your block to have your very own Whats Up Brock end grain cutting board.

Well my friends don’t you worry. I always got your back. In the next couple of days, I’ll provide the information to you on this very site/blog for you to order your very own What’s Up Brock end grain cutting board.

Be ready to jump when I open up the ordering flood gates. It’s going to be first come first serve. You will want to get in early for delivery in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons.

I know what your already thinking. “What are you going to do with the money fat ass?” I’ll tell you. I am going to get drunk and buy hookers. What the hell do you think? Ok I am kidding. Honest. I am however going to donate some of the proceeds to some charitable organizations that have moved me lately and need our help. So in a way by ordering a cutting board from me, you not only win by owning a one of kind, beautiful piece of kitchen/household functional “art” you will also be a part of helping some neglected dogs/cats and some truly deserving injured and broken Veterans and their families.

So stay tuned. You’ll want to be a part of this.

A Thirsty Thursday, What No Bacon?!

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Buttermilk pancakes for dinner? Sure why not.

Wait I got no bacon. Oh crap!

This week theres been some reporting in the news that there may be a bacon shortage next year. I know, take a breath, there you go, in…out….in…out. Calm now? I panicked too when I first heard the reports. Lets face it, a world without bacon just isn’t worth living. Think about it for a moment. Lines at the grocery store. Bacon rationing. Underground bacon black markets. People rioting around Waffle Houses and Ihops for bacon. Bacon pandemonium. Perpetual darkness. Hail and brimstone! Without bacon there is no life!

Turns out the reports may be exaggerated a bit. Seems to revolve around the drought we had this year and the corn supply. See pigs eat corn. Corn costs money. Less corn, for more money and the pigs are thin or not being replaced/bred to the same numbers. Since bacon is a commodity its still very much an issue of supply and demand. Experts say the supply wont be effected that much but the prices will be going up (like everything else) but there will be bacon. Thank Jesus H. tap dancing Christ!

In other news:

The NFL’s normal union referees have reached an agreement with the NFL for the next four years. In a way I am glad. This takes away any chance of abortion like we saw this past week with Green Bay and Seattle.

On the other hand, generally speaking I am not pro union in most all but a very few cases. Don’t get me wrong. I see the need for the unions. I understand their past and how they came to be. However, in many years all the unions have done is become the same greedy behemoth monsters they supposedly set out to protect the workers from in the first place. Unions do not protect shit anymore. If you have a skill and worth, you should be able to enter any market and get paid fairly for it. As an industry if you need specific labor you should be able to pull from the market any level of skill and pay honestly for it at will.

So I think its officially fall. Here in Florida we have two seasons, hot and wet. Anyway, I remember fall from my childhood living in the north. I miss fall. Fall is candy corn. My grandmother always and if I had to bet even right this very second has a little crystal glass dish on a hutch in her dinning room full of candy corn. Granted the candy corn is probably thirteen years old right now (her memory is starting to go) but I bet there is some there.

Speaking of candy corn. I want!

You know I just realized, between these special candy corn Oreos and the Oreo cake earlier this month I am becoming a regular shill for Oreos. Screw it, I like them.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

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Did we all update our Apple devices to the new iOS 6 software? I did. Do it. I looks good. Nice Facebook integration. Except the new maps application sucks.

Been listening to a lot of The Who this week. I don’t know why, but I have always like them. If you’ve not seen The Who live in concert try to. I was lucky to see them in ’03 or ’04ish when John Entwistle was still alive. At that time and currently Zak Starkey was on drums in Keith Moons place. You may or may not know Zak Starkey. He is Ringo Starrs son. Keith Moon was Zak’s godfather so guess who taught him drums. A small rock and roll world.

Anyway at the time Pete Townshend had to be in his early to mid 60’s and as sure as I am sitting here on my mothers eyes, that man f’ing could still rock. Amazing concert. When it comes to Rock and Roll as we know it, The Who is royalty. The Who was everywhere with everyone that did anything in rock and roll. Hendrix, Stones, Beatles, you name it and  within three degrees of separation to make Kevin Bacon look like their bitch, The Who was there.  If you got out to see them this year touring for the Quadrophenia album you can die happy. Except I got to see them play with the one and only “Ox” on bass. You’re cool. I’m just a bit cooler. It’s a cross I have to bear, don’t cry for me Argentina!

I healthed the diet up a bit after indulging in the comfort food that was Steak Melt sandwiches. Some baked chicken breast, baked potato wedges and creamed spinach. No big deal or secrets. Chicken, potato, oven, eat. Rather boring. I wanted to make some good Kosher food to pay tribute to all my Jewish friends in honor of the high holidays of Rosh Hashanah this past week. All I found that interested me was some damn good looking beef rouladen and spaetzle and you do not get any more Third Reich German Nazi than that food so I held off on the dish. We don’t need to be insensitive after all. I’ll make it next week.

We lived through another day

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Its a good excuse to celebrate
Take a number knock on wood
We’ll find a reason to feel good

Another weekend draws to a close, and another work week begins. Let the collective sighs and moans commence.

Lots of things in the news this weekend. Seems some douche bag made a rather less then flattering movie about Islam. Then some more douche bags rioted and stormed our embassies around the world. Some of our citizens were killed. Some douche bag in the White House apologized for the movie to the douche bags rioting, and then that douche bag went and partied in Las Vegas with a couple more douche bags. Remember all these douche bags when you vote in November.

Saturday evening I wasn’t in the mood to cook. I ordered a pizza from Domino’s. I regret it. I knew I would regret it before I ordered it. I still ordered it. I have gotten involved with women in much the same way. Why do I put myself through this misery? Lets take a deeper look shall we?

Saturday as stated I wasn’t in the mood to cook. I was hungry, I wanted to eat so I had to do something. I knew I was going to eat shitty pizza and I accepted that fate. My criteria for shitty pizza was the following.

  • Had to be able to order my pizza online. I didnt want to dial a phone number and talk to some pimple headed douche bag to submit my order.
  • I had to be able to pay with my banks debt/Visa I had about $7 cash on hand. Ok for drivers tip not enough for shitty pizza.
  • Delivery. I don’t want to cook, I’m sure as hell not driving for shitty pizza
  • I wasn’t going to pay silly money for shitty pizza.

I knew my choices essentially came to three options.  Pizza Hut (or in my vernacular Pizza Slut), Papa John’s, or Domino’s.

Out came the trusty iPad. Pizza Slut (Hut) has its own mobile app. Someone should wake up the Pizza Slut/Hut IT department at up at corporate. It blows up on launch and I noticed it hasn’t been updated in at least a version or two of IOS. Good going Pizza Slut/Hut. You’re just like every other corporate entity in this nation. Sleep at the switch and what customer service?

Papa John’s online site for ordering was working. Poked around a little. Papa John’s idea of a deal was $13 for a single shitty pizza before a delivery charge and tax. Kiss my ass crooked John your no Papa of mine. I am not paying $15+ for a single shitty pizza no matter how many peppers and little tubs of liquid garlic butter jiz you may throw my way.

Domino’s here I come. Domino’s was at one time many years ago an acceptable shitty pizza option. Hit the website. Pretty easy to navigate, well laid out. Two medium two topping pizza special for $5.99 each. Ok thats better but I am alone, dont need two whole medium pizzas. Dominos has been advertising these new cheese bread sticks. I can substitute this for one of the shitty pizzas. No problem. Out the door with tax and delivery I’m at $15 and change for two items. I’ll sling the poor schlub delivery driver a $5 and I got food for a day and a half.

Dominos sucks! Their pizza sucks, the abortion of the new and improved cheese bread sucks. Everything sucked. I wasn’t shocked. I knew it was going to happen from the beginning. I torture myself like this all the time. My instincts told me it was going to suck and as usual I ignored my instincts, said to myself, “how bad can it be, its better then making something at this hour” and sure enough I wasn’t let down. It sucked.

As I thought about this issue I have with shitty pizza, I realized I could use choosing to eat shitty pizza as a metaphor for choosing shitty relationships. Fortunately I have had a lot more shitty pizza then shitty relationships. It doesn’t change the fact that every shitty relationship I have been involved in, I always in every single case knew from the very beginning the relationship was going to suck. Sure enough each time I ignored my gut instincts and WHAMO, it sucked.

Look at this psychology. I even tried to apply the old cliche that “there is no shitty pizza and that all pizza even shitty is still good”. Yeah…ahhhhh…..nope. That’s categorically not true with relationships. If they suck, then they suck.

I know exactly what makes a great pizza. I know exactly what I think will be a great pizza. I have had great pizza. I can say all the same in regards to relationships. I know what makes a great relationship, I know how to make a great relationship, I have had great relationships.

Great relationships are like great pizza. A great pizza is awesome when its fresh right out of the oven made with great ingredients. Its also awesome if you can wake up the next morning and without having to do anything to it, just pick up a cold piece and its still great for breakfast. The problem I find is a seemingly great pizza fresh out of the oven, usually rates low and drifts back into the “suck” zone when cold the next morning. I have had relationships exactly the same way. Great that night fresh out of the proverbial oven, wake up the next  morning, look over and go, “oh Jesus Christ another shitty pizza”.

We can send men to the moon, Dina Lohan can blow Dr. Phil in a drunken stupor on tv, but why cant I have a great pizza? Why do I keep lying to myself, going against my good judgement and going back to try what I know is going to be shitty pizza? I know what I want in a pizza and I know exactly what I want in a relationship. I can make great pizza all day long. Unless I start collecting Tesla coils and sending out Marty Feldman to start digging up corpses and bringing back AB Normal’s brains I can’t make a completely great relationship. I got all the great ingredients I just need to find a woman with an awesome oven I guess.

That was my weekend. Shitty pizza and all.