Category Archives: General

Tamper if you like between the doors.

Posted on by
Reply

I suggest you step out on your porch.
Run away my son to see it all.

Guess we should update everyone on the “Help me name my new dog poll”.

Say hello to “Lucas Jackson War Hero”.  Lucas came home with me yesterday after working at the shelter. No more crate of shame and he seems all the more happy for it. (although he does have a crate here his is going to live in when I am not home)

As one may expect he’s been running around sniffing and checking out the new digs. So far so good no accidents in house. I am pretty certain he’s housebroken but I take him out often and watch him like a hawk. Lucas isn’t afraid of water as he walked right into the shower last night when I called him so he got his first bath. If I lay down, he lays down. If I get up, he gets up. I seem to have another shadow again.

This weekend will be mostly chilling out with Lucas and getting him used to his new home. Well that and probably getting douched out by tropical storm Isaac. We could use the rain in Florida so it’s hardly an issue other then for the local news and weather stations getting everyone into a full on “oh shit a storms coming” lather. Happens at least fifteen times each hurricane season down here. No native Floridians pay any attention to hurricane warnings until sixty hours out. Anything more in hurricane prognostication is at best a wild ass’d guess no matter what “computer” models may show you or how much the local weather imbecile may be ranting.

So with this entry I’ll bust out a TGIF, and hope everyone has a decent weekend.

 

Bringing you the funny or the disgusting since..

Posted on by
Reply

…well since forever. I ran across this little nugget on youtube today. Shoenice22 as he is called on Youtube eats and or drinks pretty much anything in record time.

“Big deal a couple of hot dogs” you say? Well lets see him get down with the Kielbasa and remember ladies don’t use the teeth.

The best part about this fella is his Chris Farley-esq demeanor and his commentary. By the way, he is also a sponsored Youtube member. ie. He’s getting paid nicely for his gimmick based on viewership. Check some of his videos. Shoenice22 is pulling down 30,000-80,000 views on some of his videos. Just goes to show there is something for everyone on the net and people are finding more ways to get paid for taking part.

Anyway if you want to see some funny videos check Shoenice22 on Youtube. He eats pretty much anything. While some is kinda gross if you listen to his commentary he’s hilarious.

Extreme eating for the week….CHECK!

Goodbye weekend, hello Monday.

Posted on by
4

So the weekend is gone and another week has started. Saturday night was dinner with friends at a local joint getting known for a particular dessert named the “Captain Jack’s Buried Treasure”. It’s essentially some kind of ice cream, chocolate cake/pie extravaganza. No I didn’t take a picture of it, it wasn’t around long enough. I should mention I had a dozen raw oysters for dinner which were great but my mind been on the “buried treasure” ice cream cake thing since Saturday. I am making my own and I am close to re-creating a version except I am going to include peanut butter and some other stuff.

Dinner tonight in order to feel better about making and eating my own peanut butter cake/pie latter in the week was some basic grilled vegetable and chicken breast. Its raining here tonight so I busted out the old grill pan. Pretty simple really. A chicken breast, some celery, a green pepper and one yellow squash. Olive oil and some Tony Chacheres Creole seasoning. Boom Healthy eating!

I didn’t stop there however, I also had some zucchini and decided to make some bread. The zucchini bread was from a basic recipe I had picked up a few years ago from the internet. I can’t attribute who actually came up with the recipe since I don’t recall where online I got it. It’s pretty basic though so if there in any interest I’ll post the details.

So between tonights grilled vegetable medley and lean chicken, with a slice of zucchini bread, my guts will be sufficiently  douched out and healthy to take on my own version of that bastard Captain Jack’s chocolate ice cream cake. Except mine will be better, and it wont have some piratey silly name like “Buried Treasure”. Oh no mine will be named something way more cool. Like “Brock’s Big Old Nuts and Chocolate Balls Ice Cream Cake Pie” or “Commandant Kingston’s Massive Ice Cream Peanut Butter Chocolate Mother of all Cake Bombs”.

You just wait. Now if I can only convince Debbie to get her ass in gear as she is supposed to be hosting the dinner club for the month of August. I just may debut my creation there.

 

Friday’s Lunch and some new changes

Posted on by
3

Went out to lunch today with a friend to a local joint called Hurricane wings. It a small chain wing bar food type place. Nothing to write home about. I had the boneless Jamaican jerk wing nugget things.  Not bad, not near as hot as they should have been.

I shared an order of Parmasan and garlic fries with my lunch date while I got a chance to discuss this blog and some of the changes I wanted to make. The fries were actually better then the wing nuggets things or whatever the hell they may be. I have included a picture of the fries too.

Oh thats right. You may have noticed some changes around here. Guess I better explain.

The original system I was using to create the whatsupbrock.com blog was a little outdated and some of the features were broken since Apple stopped supporting the application. Comments especially were broken and the only way I could get them working was to code the ability myself which would take more time and effort then I cared to spend. Furthermore, why invent the wheel all over again. So I stepped up to big boy content management which you see here.

It will allow you and I a better chance to interact together here which was what I wanted from the beginning of this project.

Small disclaimer: In order to comment on posts the system may ask you for some information such as your name and a valid email address. It does this for a couple reasons, but mostly to try and deny spam bots from placing garbage comments. The system will ask for this information only on your first comment. Then as the admin of the site, I get to approve your first comment. From this point forward you wont have to submit the info and your comments will automatically appear since the system “thinks your a trusted source”. I promise you, not today, next week, next month or ever in the future will I sell or share your contact information. Enter something legit if you can so I know your not some Nigerian scumbag trying to scam some seed money for a large stockpile of gold I may have inherited from a dead relative. I just wanted you to hear this little bit from me and my mouth. Your info is safe if you choose to participate. I hope you do.

So I have some work to do. I do not want to abandon the first ten or so entries from the old site so I need to bring them over here with the pictures. I have a few things to clean up here as well. If you find something broken or stupid with the way this new system works please comment me, email, let me know. I’ll kick the Lama’s ass!

Thanks for your patience.

Brock

PS. My friend Amy who was my lunch date today is watching a couple of dogs for a friend of hers. This is Paddy. He’s Irish. He’s a Golden Retriever. He’s f’ing cute.

 

It aint me, I aint no fortunate son.

Posted on by
Reply


Yeah some folks inherit star spangled eyes.
Oh, they send you down to war.
And when you ask them “how much should we give?”
Oh, they only answer, more more more.

 

“So we haven’t heard from you in a few days you bastard. What is cough-cough up?”

So yeah the first thing I think I need to say is. Jenny McCarthy is single again. Let’s all take a moment. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it.

Ok, now that the serious business is out of the way. It’s Friday again. What are we doing this weekend?

The corporate kitchens at What’s Up Brock inc. are finding out this blogging shit is kinda like a job. WTF? Kidding relax the blog will live on in perpetuity. A job in the sense like keeping the ideas fresh, providing engaging content, and well just not sucking. It’s not to say I have blown the proverbial load on this experiment. I have a ton of things swirling around in my head about the direction, different content, ideas to discuss and then some stories.

You see I have stories. Stories of love, war, travel, Italian prostitutes, drunk Algerians in France, and other weird and or unique (twisted lets call a spade a spade here) experiences.

The question I seem to be wrestling with lately is how and in what way to deliver these things in the blog. Granted I am a methodical SOB and always try and plan for any contingency. I enjoy blogging. I read and visit a lot of blogs. There is a lot of blog “shit” out there, that is actually making money. I honestly didn’t start this blog with any illusion I would gain any significant audience beyond my close circle of friends and family much less make money with it. Early and rudimentary analysis of some of the traffic this blog is getting has me rethinking some things.

I am not going to change or alter the fundamental direction of this blog or my attitude and personality within its pages. The fact remains this blog could lead to a place in my life where I am buying 21st century toilets for the third world population to drop a gratifying deuce. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it!

Anyway, to prove my vested interest in this site, I even bought a book. Its about food styling and photography recommended by another well known blogger. I have another book on blogging discussing the issues of advertisements and revenue generation. So like I have mentioned in some previous posts this will be a learning experience. So my valued readers you’re in on the ground floor. Check the mail for your stock options.

Or

I am a step away from shit-canning the entire idea, registering the domain bangbus and starting my porn empire. Oh wait someone already has bangbus shit! Look’s like I better find something to cook this weekend.

Moving to the country, I am going to eat a lot of…

Posted on by
Reply

Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man

In a factory downtown.

If I had my little way I’d eat peaches everyday.

Sun soakin’ bulges in the shade.
I’ve often thought about relocating from my current residence in the fine state of Florida to somewhere more rural.

“You don’t have to leave Florida to be more rural.”

True, but I often think more rural with four actual seasons instead of one. Florida is pretty much one season, hot and wet. Sure we get a few days of winter, but then its back to the same heat. A fall or spring would be nice.

I also find myself tired of most of the inhabitants of the state. Florida is for the most part the melting pot of ignorance and intolerance. There are few true Floridians or “crackers” as they have been known to be called. Most Floridians are from somewhere else. Particularly New Jersey or New York. Hell I am one of them.

Between career and military service I have pretty much traveled all over the world. I am not ready to renounce my citizenship and abandon my country yet. Although I do keep a short list of non-extraditable countries in the back of my head, should the need arise.

So I find myself thinking about relocation within the forty-eight contiguous states and it always seem to come back to one thing. Women.

You see throughout my life’s travels I have pretty much graded all the geographic locations I have visited by the types and my perceived notion of the quality of women that lived in each area.

Yes I know its silly. Yes I know its ridiculous. Yes I know truly there is no way to judge a geographical location to live based on what I think about at best a half dozen women in those locations. At my age, I don’t have much time for reasonable and this is women I am talking about. Really? Reasonable? Women? Me?

So yeah, my short list of more rural places to live or not so rural but with USDA Grade A Prime women, to move to and live in:

Spartanburg, South Carolina. A few years ago I flew into Spartanburg, SC. to vet out and train with a software developer located there. Between the companies offices, the downtown area and pretty much every single woman I laid my eyes on in a seventy-two hour time frame, I did not see one unattractive woman. Not one. Manners, general attitude, pleasant dispositions you name it. It was like God himself on a whim blasted out a perfect place in the universe where all the women, were beautiful, pleasant, and sane. In fact the software was for drug store and pharmacy management, and we visited a drug store in town where the software was installed to see it in action.While in the drug store, I didn’t even see tampons for sale. God made the women of Spartanburg, SC so freaking perfect they don’t even have periods. I swear I could hear angles singing while walking down the streets.

Next location. Dallas, Texas. Same thing, flew to Dallas a few times to deal with clients while working in the telecom business. Now granted I am not naive enough to think all the women of Dallas are visions of perfection as is Spartanburg, SC. Everything is bigger in Texas. Particularly tits. Now I am not a tit man. I mean they’re nice and I’ll play “the front nine” with a style and ease to…Dance Dance Dance the night Away….sorry small Van Halen hijack. Yeah, not a big tit guy, but the women of Dallas, like the women of Spartanburg, are exceptionally polite, classy, down home-ish, and being Texan gun toting, ass kicking, freedom loving and god fearing conservatives which is right in my wheel house.

Indianapolis, Indiana. Now Indiana is a special exception. I have never been to Indiana. I have a bunch of friends there. The best sex I ever had was with a woman from Indiana. Lastly Indiana has the Indianapolis 500. Like Bunny said in Platoon, “there ain’t nothing better then the Indy 500, ‘cept maybe a piece of pussy.” I have been invited many times to visit Indiana. Hell some friends have invited me to the 500. There has always been some plans or reasons I could not accept the offers. Frankly I think its gods will I never go, because in my rather twisted mind, I imagine all the women are as good in bed as my previous Indiana love affair. Add that to the Indy 500 and I’ll be a fucking Hoosier in a month.

Chicago, Illinois. Been a few times. Nice city, lots to do, still kind of midwest. Cute girls. Lots of Pollocks, and lunatic Democrats. Short enough distance to ride Harley to Sturgis, SD every August. Still though, taxes and Democrats.

Alas, most all my friends and family are here in Florida. Most of my friends go back to the first grade or there about in elementary school. My mother and father are still alive and married. We still talk an get along well. Same with brothers. I may be eternally single, always looking for that “one” but if I am judged by the friends and family I have, both near and far, then I am more then one lucky son of a bitch. I’m doing pretty good in life all things considered. Think I’ll stay put around here, a little longer.

Doesn’t mean I wont be visiting Indiana soon, and trying to screw every woman this silver tongued liar can get into bed. Who am I kidding? I’ll settle for the 500 in the month of May one of these years, and cherish the memories of that one particular Hoosier woman a little longer.

Home sweet Florida home.

TGIF or how I woke up and thought..

Posted on by
Reply

 

I dont care if it rains or freezes long as I got my plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car.

Goin ninety I aint scary cause I got the virgin mary assuring me that i wont go to hell.

…the best movie in the world, ok maybe not “The Best” but my top five short list of best movies in the world is Cool Hand Luke. I have pretty much modeled my life after the main character Lucas Jackson albeit subconsciously most of the times.

Hell I named the best dog I ever owned and loved “Lucille” after one of the characters in the movie.

If you have not seen the movie, rent it, buy it, amazon it whatever. You’ll watch it at least twenty-sixteen times or something. I swear.

Anyway, without spoiling the movie, Luke is a one of a kind, natural born world shaker. His mother dies while he’s in the road gang and he gets put in “the box” for no reason other then in case he tries to escape for her funeral. He does escape a few times gets caught each time, but jail, the bosses and the captain cant break him. Remind of you anyone yet..lol

Throughout the movie Newman’s character has an internal battle with the man upstairs (God) about giving him a sign or something to show him what he is supposed to do with his life.

Now I cant say that I have much the same debate with God or whatever my higher power may be from one week to another about doing something with my life, but I can relate in a way to Luke in this regard.

You see if there is a God or some kind of Devine higher power, that son of a bitch took my Lucille away from me at the ripe old age of four and half years old. She was still a fucking puppy in my eyes with a shit ton of good years ahead of her.

“….for reasons you don’t know he/she/it has a plan and we don’t always know the bigger picture.”

Yea what the hell ever.

“…..maybe your karma is bad”

I pretty much live my life by a few simple principles. Try and be kind, treat others fairly and with respect. Lastly in the almighty words of Tony Montana “I aint never fucked nobody over that didn’t have it coming to him, and in this world all I got is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.” Oh look another movie mantra I live by, starting to see a pattern here.

So I question this whole faith in the higher power thing. In the big picture or plan, who am I really? I don’t really take or give, I cared pretty much about one thing in life and it was that Golden Retriever. In the grand scheme of things what was the significance of me or Lucille or allowing her at such a young age to get a mass on her spleen?

“…simple science and biology man, these things happen, there is no control just bad luck.”

Yeah I know, and I have honestly accepted that. But it doesn’t make the battle with faith in our higher power any less problematic. That this happened goes against everything faith supposedly teaches us.

Is there a heaven and hell? I don’t know. So far in life I have done enough and frankly have the sky miles to upgrade to a first class seat to both locations. Is this the reason Lucille is gone? I recognize and try to live life on the good side of the equation of the force and not go to the dark side. The whole fear leads to anger, anger leads to…..oh wait thats George Lucas…fuck another movie.

I am so screwed…..Lucille I love you and miss you baby girl. Find God or Lucifer or Yoda and I will see you again at another time. Some day I may get another dog, she wont be another Lucille but she may be a “Dragline” or a “Coconut Head- Koko” or a “Babalugats”.

This entry is dedicated to Lucille Retriever Kingston 2007-2012

Unchained and I’ve hit the ground runnin’

Posted on by
Reply

I thought you’d never miss me till I got a fat city address

None stop talker, what a rocker

Blue-eyed murder in a size five dress

Well here it is, the first entry. I should probably start this off and appropriately thank the responsible parties who held the fuse to the spark of blogging I had been toying with in my head. Not unlike that little kid board in the summer starting fires in the woods with illegal bottle rockets.

Amy, Debbie and by association Allen, thanks. Here goes nothing.

I hope to contribute to this experiment at least once a day with my certain brand of humor.

“Hey funny fat ass, what do you have to contribute anyway?”

Well, as most of my friends know, I can pretty much talk about anything or have an opinion on the same. So with any luck, I may be of some interest and make a person smile or laugh. If thats the case, I won. If not, well then ahhh…coughfuckyoucough!

Hey I am trying.