Collard Greens

Collard GreensA nice woman at work gave me a bunch of Collard Greens from her garden last week. If you don’t know or haven’t ate Collard Greens before then I feel sorry for you. Collards are a southern and soul food staple.

Collards Greens are super simple to cook and most importantly are damn good for you. Collard Greens are full of
vitamin C and also have a ton of anti-cancer properties that
boost the immune system.Collard Greens1

To this day, you can’t pay me to eat spinach from a can. Canned spinach is straight shit and I’d just as soon starve to death or eat cat before canned spinach. All this being said and known, fresh good Collard Greens are nothing like spinach and are a million times better.

Collard Greens2Cooking Collard Greens is a simple process. All you need is some type of smoked or cured meat, an onion, some chicken stock, vinegar, crushed red pepper and you’re on your way to the races. Typically the meat is ham hocks, but you can use bacon, neck bones, smoked turkey leg, whatever you have. The more ghetto the better it tastes.

There are two parts to good Collard Greens. The Collards and the broth the Collards have cooked in. This liquid is called the “pot liquor”. Its full of nutrients and is best when you soak it up with some corn bread. Hell I drink it right from the bowl when I am done eating the Collards but then again I am a heathen and don’t have a damn to give.

Try some Collards, get healthy, feel good, and thank me later.

Collard Greens
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
The most basic and best tasting soul food recipe is Collard Greens. Easy to make and good for you.
Recipe type: Side
Cuisine: Southern Soul Food
Serves: 4-6
  • 2 Bunches of Collard Greens
  • ½ Pound Bacon (6-8 slices)
  • 1 Yellow Onion chopped
  • 1 Quart of Chicken Stock
  • 2 Cups of Water
  • 1 Tablespoon crushed Red Pepper
  • 2 Tablespoons of Vinegar
  1. Rinse all sand from Collard Leaves
  2. Rip all the green leaf from the stems discard stems
  3. Chop the green leafy parts of the Collards set aside
  4. Chop uncooked Bacon
  5. In large pot cook Bacon over medium heat 3-5 minutes until soft and starting to render
  6. Add chopped Onion to cooking Bacon and fat stir and cook until translucent
  7. Add Chicken Stock
  8. Add Water
  9. Add chopped clean Collard Greens (add in batches greens will wilt down fast)
  10. Add crushed Red Pepper flakes
  11. Bring to boil, cover, reduce heat to medium low and simmer for an hour and half or two hours
  12. Add Vinegar stir serve.

A Thirsty Thursday, What No Bacon?!

Buttermilk pancakes for dinner? Sure why not.

Wait I got no bacon. Oh crap!

This week theres been some reporting in the news that there may be a bacon shortage next year. I know, take a breath, there you go, in…out….in…out. Calm now? I panicked too when I first heard the reports. Lets face it, a world without bacon just isn’t worth living. Think about it for a moment. Lines at the grocery store. Bacon rationing. Underground bacon black markets. People rioting around Waffle Houses and Ihops for bacon. Bacon pandemonium. Perpetual darkness. Hail and brimstone! Without bacon there is no life!

Turns out the reports may be exaggerated a bit. Seems to revolve around the drought we had this year and the corn supply. See pigs eat corn. Corn costs money. Less corn, for more money and the pigs are thin or not being replaced/bred to the same numbers. Since bacon is a commodity its still very much an issue of supply and demand. Experts say the supply wont be effected that much but the prices will be going up (like everything else) but there will be bacon. Thank Jesus H. tap dancing Christ!

In other news:

The NFL’s normal union referees have reached an agreement with the NFL for the next four years. In a way I am glad. This takes away any chance of abortion like we saw this past week with Green Bay and Seattle.

On the other hand, generally speaking I am not pro union in most all but a very few cases. Don’t get me wrong. I see the need for the unions. I understand their past and how they came to be. However, in many years all the unions have done is become the same greedy behemoth monsters they supposedly set out to protect the workers from in the first place. Unions do not protect shit anymore. If you have a skill and worth, you should be able to enter any market and get paid fairly for it. As an industry if you need specific labor you should be able to pull from the market any level of skill and pay honestly for it at will.

So I think its officially fall. Here in Florida we have two seasons, hot and wet. Anyway, I remember fall from my childhood living in the north. I miss fall. Fall is candy corn. My grandmother always and if I had to bet even right this very second has a little crystal glass dish on a hutch in her dinning room full of candy corn. Granted the candy corn is probably thirteen years old right now (her memory is starting to go) but I bet there is some there.

Speaking of candy corn. I want!

You know I just realized, between these special candy corn Oreos and the Oreo cake earlier this month I am becoming a regular shill for Oreos. Screw it, I like them.