I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand

Lots of adjectives to describe this weekend. None more then melancholy that its over, but probably the two that most come to mind as I sit back and think about the weekend are interesting and grateful.

I’ll start with the interesting. Yesterday it seems that the President was in town, glad handing and drumming up support for his attempt at re-election. This wouldn’t be out of the ordinary except that yesterday as he was making his way from Melbourne to West Palm Beach he was was stopping at seemingly random businesses to speak with patrons and establishment owners. One of his stops was about a mile as the crow flies from my home to some local restaurant bar. The police activity, secret service convoy, Obama’s motorcade, helicopters is a sight to see, once you get over the fact its a complete damned catastrophe waiting to happen. Traffic is stopped in all directions within a mile of wherever the President decides to jump out for his photo opportunity. Its interesting to see the logistics to move this guy around and at what costs to the communities and people around him to do it. Yesterday during his movement one of the poor bastard motorcycle police whom was attempting to “Stop” traffic on interstate 95 (yes you read that right, stop traffic on Interstate 95) was creamed by a pickup truck and subsequently DRT. (Dead Right There) President Obama’s  thoughts are with his family of course!

What else is interesting to me is how and at what establishments the President decides to randomly stop in and visit. The news and White House would have you believe that the President while traveling through the region to kill some time just decides to pull off the road here and there all willy nilly to shake hands and kiss babies. I call bullshit on that every day till Sunday. Secret service knows all about these stops well in advance. Secret service even calls the establishments owners forty minutes prior and announce that the President will be stopping in. This is all logical and fine.

To me this tells you a little about the establishment the President is visiting. Do you think the President, during his most crucial re-election campaign, would just stop in to visit a business owner who is a through and through republican? Or maybe a business owner whom is trying to figure out how in the hell he/she is going to afford to pay for mandatory healthcare with all the bells and whistles under Obamacare and remain in business? No, this tells me one thing. The particular places President Obama decides to stop in and visit, are staunch supporters of his. I’ll even go so far as to say, I’d bet a million internet bucks that these business owners have made $$$ contributions to Mr. Obama’s re-election campaign. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that being the case, it just for me it shines these businesses in a different light. It could be argued that this President is the most polarizing President we as a nation have had in a very long time. There are those that say, President Obama will clearly unseat former President Jimmy Carter as the worst President the nation has had in modern times. I tend to agree personally which is why I don’t see how some of these local business can support such a threat to simple free market enterprise as this President.

Lastly in the interesting department it was posed to me in conversation, what would I have done if I was a local business owner and President Obama just showed up. It’s a good question to ponder. I maintain that President Obama wouldn’t just show up to my business, his intel and recon would know that I am not a democrat, nor a supporter of his. However if  he did come into my establishment how would I react to him? I wouldn’t turn him away, he is the President for Christ’s sake. As a Marine, he’s the commander in chief. Good or bad he’ll get his due respect the office in which he holds deserves from me. All things being equal, he wouldn’t be getting much of a photo opportunity with me and if given the chance, respectfully told nor my vote.

Enough interesting, lets discuss grateful.

I was also grateful this weekend. I got a chance to get breakfast / lunch with some friends Saturday. We hung for a few hours discussing such important topics as fishing, motorcycles, food, the annual Christmas party, and how and when to fly in fresh crawdads from Louisiana this spring for a serious boil.

I am grateful because these friends as are most of mine, are on the board of directors of this internet content conglomerate that is What’s up Brock. While this blog is still young and in its infancy, it helps me to get feedback and direction from folks who are regularly reading what I am typing. So far everything is positive and the general consensus is to keep going, give them more more more. Not a problem there at all. I got some ideas for content and spreading the sickness to the masses. I am excited to see where this goes. So far as I stated earlier the response has been overwhelmingly positive. I haven’t even gotten to the hunting and killing or tools and horsepower yet. Furthermore you know I haven’t reached the end of the internet toilet flush of having a lack of content or ideas yet because we all know that ace in the hole is tits and porn. I am a long way from playing that card. I hope. Not that I would. Well tits and porn are ok. Wait, I am supposed to be making and thinking about what kind of brand I am creating here. I want all people to read and enjoy this site. Thongs, panties, (shut up devil).

Lets close this up before my head explodes.

Be good to each other. We get back what we give out and if you cant be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.

Come here Lucas!


It aint me, I aint no fortunate son.

Yeah some folks inherit star spangled eyes.
Oh, they send you down to war.
And when you ask them “how much should we give?”
Oh, they only answer, more more more.


“So we haven’t heard from you in a few days you bastard. What is cough-cough up?”

So yeah the first thing I think I need to say is. Jenny McCarthy is single again. Let’s all take a moment. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it.

Ok, now that the serious business is out of the way. It’s Friday again. What are we doing this weekend?

The corporate kitchens at What’s Up Brock inc. are finding out this blogging shit is kinda like a job. WTF? Kidding relax the blog will live on in perpetuity. A job in the sense like keeping the ideas fresh, providing engaging content, and well just not sucking. It’s not to say I have blown the proverbial load on this experiment. I have a ton of things swirling around in my head about the direction, different content, ideas to discuss and then some stories.

You see I have stories. Stories of love, war, travel, Italian prostitutes, drunk Algerians in France, and other weird and or unique (twisted lets call a spade a spade here) experiences.

The question I seem to be wrestling with lately is how and in what way to deliver these things in the blog. Granted I am a methodical SOB and always try and plan for any contingency. I enjoy blogging. I read and visit a lot of blogs. There is a lot of blog “shit” out there, that is actually making money. I honestly didn’t start this blog with any illusion I would gain any significant audience beyond my close circle of friends and family much less make money with it. Early and rudimentary analysis of some of the traffic this blog is getting has me rethinking some things.

I am not going to change or alter the fundamental direction of this blog or my attitude and personality within its pages. The fact remains this blog could lead to a place in my life where I am buying 21st century toilets for the third world population to drop a gratifying deuce. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it!

Anyway, to prove my vested interest in this site, I even bought a book. Its about food styling and photography recommended by another well known blogger. I have another book on blogging discussing the issues of advertisements and revenue generation. So like I have mentioned in some previous posts this will be a learning experience. So my valued readers you’re in on the ground floor. Check the mail for your stock options.


I am a step away from shit-canning the entire idea, registering the domain bangbus and starting my porn empire. Oh wait someone already has bangbus shit! Look’s like I better find something to cook this weekend.

What happened?

Keep your eyes on the road, your hands up on the wheel.

We’er going to the roadhouse we’re going to have a real….good time.

Does anyone else not give a crap about the summer olympics? What was that abortion of an opening ceremony about, and how did it have anything to do with the olympic games and the world wide competition of everything sports? These observations not withstanding, trying to watch the olympics on NBC is as futile an exercise as trying to perform an appendectomy on yourself. Nothing is live on NBC. What’s the point? Ellen and Rachel Ray trump the olympics?

This semi rant kind of brings me to the point of this post. What the hell happened to industry in this country?

In a time when we live with instantaneous access to information at our fingertips how in the hell do corporations not know whom their customers are and what they want? Lets look at some things that have failed or are currently circling the drain.

Newspapers. That whole internet fad, came back to bite them in the ass didn’t it? Who actually buys a newspaper that is below the age of seventy five years old? The writing and reporting in newspapers has always sucked balls with a bias slant this way or that way. The issue was it was ok to have shit writing and reporting where else were you going to go? We were stuck. That is until the internet. Now I can read a newspaper or magazine from any city in the world and if the content writing or reporting sucked I could jump ship to another publication in three clicks of the mouse. This didn’t kill the newspapers, what killed the newspapers is the fundamental lack of foresight and leadership. The newspapers for more then a hundred years only knew how to make money one way. Selling advertising within the publication. When the world wide web came along, non of the management gave a serious thought of how to transition to online advertising or how to effectively make money by selling it.

Same thing is happening with TV. Cable and satellite providers better wake up. Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Hulu and a host of other on-demand content providers are going to free us from the proverbial viagra, and vaginal lube commercials we are all subject to as these companies gain more market share. Who actually watches more then about six channels with any regularity? I don’t. Only problem is in order to watch those six channels, my satellite provider makes me buy into a channel package full of shit channels I’ll never watch.

Want to watch Jon Stewart or Tosh, then you have to pay for a half dozen other MTV “thirteen year old opps I fucked a dirtbag and now I’m a pregnant teen channels.”

Cable and satellite providers know what is happening with on demand content providers and how its going to affect the way they do business. You have any idea what they are doing about it? You guessed it. Nothing. They’re stuck with “the old dinosaur ways of advertising revenue”.

Look at simple retail. Anyone try and buy something electronic from Best Buy in the last two to three years? How was the experience?

Been to a Lowes or a Home Depot and try and get the simplest degree of customer service or ask where a toilet flange bolt is located? Good Luck.

Do I really need to mention Wal-Mart?

We used to produce things in this country. Wether it was durable goods or providing some kind of service. Now not so much.

This country is lazy. That same lazy elected a president that actually had the balls to say something to the effect “that any of the few business left in the country that the founders of those businesses didn’t really create the business”. Of course now our President claims the statement was taken out of context, but after hearing the speech, what earthly context could have been appropriate to make any such statement to citizens of this country during these economic times?

I don’t know what happened to this country. I will say that come election time in November, “Keep your eyes on the road and your hands up on the wheel”. Our current President is not a leader he’s a warden, and Johnny Cash has something for prison wardens.

TGIF or how I woke up and thought..


I dont care if it rains or freezes long as I got my plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car.

Goin ninety I aint scary cause I got the virgin mary assuring me that i wont go to hell.

…the best movie in the world, ok maybe not “The Best” but my top five short list of best movies in the world is Cool Hand Luke. I have pretty much modeled my life after the main character Lucas Jackson albeit subconsciously most of the times.

Hell I named the best dog I ever owned and loved “Lucille” after one of the characters in the movie.

If you have not seen the movie, rent it, buy it, amazon it whatever. You’ll watch it at least twenty-sixteen times or something. I swear.

Anyway, without spoiling the movie, Luke is a one of a kind, natural born world shaker. His mother dies while he’s in the road gang and he gets put in “the box” for no reason other then in case he tries to escape for her funeral. He does escape a few times gets caught each time, but jail, the bosses and the captain cant break him. Remind of you anyone yet..lol

Throughout the movie Newman’s character has an internal battle with the man upstairs (God) about giving him a sign or something to show him what he is supposed to do with his life.

Now I cant say that I have much the same debate with God or whatever my higher power may be from one week to another about doing something with my life, but I can relate in a way to Luke in this regard.

You see if there is a God or some kind of Devine higher power, that son of a bitch took my Lucille away from me at the ripe old age of four and half years old. She was still a fucking puppy in my eyes with a shit ton of good years ahead of her.

“….for reasons you don’t know he/she/it has a plan and we don’t always know the bigger picture.”

Yea what the hell ever.

“…..maybe your karma is bad”

I pretty much live my life by a few simple principles. Try and be kind, treat others fairly and with respect. Lastly in the almighty words of Tony Montana “I aint never fucked nobody over that didn’t have it coming to him, and in this world all I got is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.” Oh look another movie mantra I live by, starting to see a pattern here.

So I question this whole faith in the higher power thing. In the big picture or plan, who am I really? I don’t really take or give, I cared pretty much about one thing in life and it was that Golden Retriever. In the grand scheme of things what was the significance of me or Lucille or allowing her at such a young age to get a mass on her spleen?

“…simple science and biology man, these things happen, there is no control just bad luck.”

Yeah I know, and I have honestly accepted that. But it doesn’t make the battle with faith in our higher power any less problematic. That this happened goes against everything faith supposedly teaches us.

Is there a heaven and hell? I don’t know. So far in life I have done enough and frankly have the sky miles to upgrade to a first class seat to both locations. Is this the reason Lucille is gone? I recognize and try to live life on the good side of the equation of the force and not go to the dark side. The whole fear leads to anger, anger leads to…..oh wait thats George Lucas…fuck another movie.

I am so screwed…..Lucille I love you and miss you baby girl. Find God or Lucifer or Yoda and I will see you again at another time. Some day I may get another dog, she wont be another Lucille but she may be a “Dragline” or a “Coconut Head- Koko” or a “Babalugats”.

This entry is dedicated to Lucille Retriever Kingston 2007-2012

Unchained and I’ve hit the ground runnin’

I thought you’d never miss me till I got a fat city address

None stop talker, what a rocker

Blue-eyed murder in a size five dress

Well here it is, the first entry. I should probably start this off and appropriately thank the responsible parties who held the fuse to the spark of blogging I had been toying with in my head. Not unlike that little kid board in the summer starting fires in the woods with illegal bottle rockets.

Amy, Debbie and by association Allen, thanks. Here goes nothing.

I hope to contribute to this experiment at least once a day with my certain brand of humor.

“Hey funny fat ass, what do you have to contribute anyway?”

Well, as most of my friends know, I can pretty much talk about anything or have an opinion on the same. So with any luck, I may be of some interest and make a person smile or laugh. If thats the case, I won. If not, well then ahhh…coughfuckyoucough!

Hey I am trying.