cookWhat’s up faithful reader? Hope this update finds you well. I certainly can’t complain. I have some news, some observations, maybe a rant or bitch or two and well lets get into the meat of it all and waste no more time.

Lately I have been noticing change. Change in everything really. Obviously things need to change and change is natural. I don’t mind change at all and if I am prepared for it.  I usually welcome change. However I am a firm believer in that once a person or item or situation reached its fundamental pinnacle of perfection or awesomeness then it should be left alone. Of course this doesn’t work with everything otherwise things become stale and life would be boring. So although I preach and welcome the idea of change there is just some shit I wish would be left the hell alone. I’ll give an example.

Fruit Loops! With the exception of raisin bran or oatmeal I probably haven’t ate cereal in twenty plus years. Recently I have delved back into the realm of sugary children’s cereal for breakfast consumption. Now back in the day before all this Michele Obama healthy eating school lunch bullshit and other organic natural food kick there was an entire population of Generation X kids like myself that mainly subsisted on Fruit Loops, Happy Meals, and Totinos toaster oven pizza.

Last week, I bought a box of Fruit Loops Cereal. Right across the top of the box, right above that crazy fucking Toucan Sam with his LBGT friendly rainbow snout is the words, “made with whole grain.” I was like “oh thats nice a healthier option for the kids with anal parents.” I search throughout the grocery store shelves for the “old school gangster” Fruit Loops. You remember the kind made with white enriched full gluten crackling goodness in the three basic colors, and lacquered in pure sugar and the finest of high fructose corn syrup that left the milk in the bowl a rainbow tinged slurry of milk sugar that could keep a kid going all day.

Here I am slinging boxes of this fake Fruit Loop crap behind me in my quest for the real Fruit Loops of my youth. After standing in a pile of semi healthy boxes of Fruit Loops at my feet, and garnering more then one dirty look from a passerby and the fat pig in the electric cart who could not pass my General Mills cereal barricade I realize this new healthful brand of Fruit Loops is all there is for sale. Pissed off I grab a box (hey I am not a quitter and will try anything once) and I punt my way out of the pile of Fruit Loops around my feet swearing under my breath about another lost childhood staple and how the world is in a downward spiral to hell all somehow connected to this new bullshit healthy whole grain version of Fruit Loops.

The following week, I crack open the box one morning and pour a bowl full out. Right away I can tell the actual bits of cereal while still round seem to be smaller and more dense then what I remember of the crack like full puffiness of the originals. Secondly theres about three to four more neon colors in the cereal that I know were not in the original version. I pour in some milk and resign myself to the passing of another staple of my childhood. The taste was ok I guess, and while there was some semblance of the sugary milk payday at the end, it was just not the same.

Why did we have to screw with Fruit Loops? What did we gain? A generation of children grew up eating the old Fruit Loops. Hell Fruit Loops are generally the first real food babies are given to eat. My mother poured the cereal out dry onto the tray of my high chair and I ate those circles of sugary goodness before I could say my name and not crap my diaper. This is where I do not believe in change.

IMG_1476Good Change? A little over a year ago I said goodbye to my angel Golden Retriever Lucille due to cancer. As of this afternoon I now have three dogs in this house with me. A Cocker Spaniel, a Mastiff bulldog mix, and a full AKC Dogue De Bordeaux. Yea I know I haven’t quite got past the point of wondering if I am slowly slipping into “crazy cat lady” like insanity but so far so good. Everyone is getting along, no aggressive posturing so it looks like the pack is growing in size.

His official name is Coconut Head. All my dogs are named after characters from the movie Cool Hand Luke. I pretty much have the main characters of the movie covered now. Lucas, Dragline and now Coconut Head. (Coco) for short. Coco handles all the bets for cool drinks. “Coco we got us a bet here!”

In reality I don’t call any of them by their names. They are all referred to some size of “nug” or nugget. I have Little nugget (short for butt nugget) middle nugget and now big nugget or big nug. mmm yea no really I’m not losing my mind at all.

Anyway this is probably it for me. As I look around the house its not crowded and there is plenty of room for the four of us, but as it stands I can probably only comfortably walk these three dogs at a time. Its also probably on the threshold of lunacy I’ll have to try and  explain away to any future girlfriends I may invite over here.

More good change is Apple finally released the new iOS 7. Lots of people commenting that it looks cartoonish etc. In the end I am finding it a step up in the right direction from what we had with version 6. When it comes to electronics and computers most people get used to something and denounce change but in the end change is good in this case. The evolution of computers and science is based on change and without change well we cant hope to survive as a species. iTunes radio is also about six weeks away from driving the first of the numbered few nails into the coffin of Pandora internet radio. You heard it hear first folks. Watch.

Anyone been watching the final season of Breaking Bad? I’m on that every Sunday night like stank on shit. I am going to be sad when the series ends this next Sunday, but with change there is always something more. Saul Goodman the slick assed lawyer from the show, is getting his own series on AMC. Yep “Better Call Saul” is getting his own show. It will be a prequel of sorts detailing how Saul Goodman came to be the scumbag lawyer we all have come to love. I personally can not wait.

That’s about it.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

Tamper if you like between the doors.

I suggest you step out on your porch.
Run away my son to see it all.

Guess we should update everyone on the “Help me name my new dog poll”.

Say hello to “Lucas Jackson War Hero”.  Lucas came home with me yesterday after working at the shelter. No more crate of shame and he seems all the more happy for it. (although he does have a crate here his is going to live in when I am not home)

As one may expect he’s been running around sniffing and checking out the new digs. So far so good no accidents in house. I am pretty certain he’s housebroken but I take him out often and watch him like a hawk. Lucas isn’t afraid of water as he walked right into the shower last night when I called him so he got his first bath. If I lay down, he lays down. If I get up, he gets up. I seem to have another shadow again.

This weekend will be mostly chilling out with Lucas and getting him used to his new home. Well that and probably getting douched out by tropical storm Isaac. We could use the rain in Florida so it’s hardly an issue other then for the local news and weather stations getting everyone into a full on “oh shit a storms coming” lather. Happens at least fifteen times each hurricane season down here. No native Floridians pay any attention to hurricane warnings until sixty hours out. Anything more in hurricane prognostication is at best a wild ass’d guess no matter what “computer” models may show you or how much the local weather imbecile may be ranting.

So with this entry I’ll bust out a TGIF, and hope everyone has a decent weekend.


Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

I get by with a little help from my friends.

I get high with a little help from my friends.

I am going to try with a little help from my friends.

Working at the shelter today and I was greeted by this little guy. We go way back. Way back to about two weeks ago. You see he was adopted out early last week. Prior to that time he and I had made good friends. He’s a 2-3 year old Cocker Spaniel. I would go down to his room in shelter and hang out with him. He was always in good spirits, behaved, and would come right up to me, stick his nose in my ear and lick my ear lobe. Just a good all around dog and I liked hanging out with him. As I said he had been adopted out so I never thought more of it. Until this morning.

Came into the shelter this morning and there he was as you can see above in the “crate of shame” since another K9 took up residence in his old room. I asked why he was back and one of the shelter workers told me “he bit the woman whom had adopted him” and that in fact “had bit the old man that had adopted him prior to this incident”. I told shelter worker how surprised I was because I had spent time with the dog and thought he was great. That’s when the shelter worker told me that since this was his second time being brought back for biting that they were thinking the dog wasn’t going to be adoptable and they were going to have to call a Cocker Spaniel rescue somewhere to see if they could unload him.

Yeah, it took me about twenty minutes before I raised my hand and offered to foster him and give him another chance. You see I used to be a hard-nosed son of a bitch in this manner but as I have gotten older I have found myself always looking for the hard cases and I am a firm believer in second and hell sometimes even third chances. I have screwed up plenty in my life and frankly if it weren’t for some close people and family believing in me, I wouldn’t be here blogging about this now.

So with any luck tomorrow evening I am springing this little guy from his crate of shame to come home with me.

Emotionally I have made peace with losing Lucille. Mostly. 🙁 So Its time and this little shit could use a friend right about now. So could I. Home he is coming.

Now for the fun part. You may have noticed a lot of “He’s” and no name. Well it seems some at the shelter have been calling him “Playto” but he doesn’t respond to that or any other name due to the circumstances of his short but awkward life. This is where you the reader comes in. You’re all going to help me name him. So get to voting. The dog is a hard case. Lucas Jackson was a hard case. I like Lucas, but you can vote for any of the below suggestions. You can also leave a comment with a name not on the list if you want. We’ll tally up the votes this time tomorrow and highest vote wins and this dog will be forever named by the faithful readers of this blog.

What sealed fostering this dog for me? When I first looked at him a couple weeks ago, the very first thing that came to my mind was that he almost looked like a Golden Retriever just with short legs. Today I text messaged a picture of him to my friend Amy who is also a dog lover, and she replied to me, “he looks like a Golden Retriever only shorter”. F’ing Karma right there man.

So lets get out the vote friends. This election is better then the one coming in November. You get more then two choices and all the choices are better then those two lame asses we get for the White House this November.

What should I name my new dog?

  • Lucas (75%, 6 Votes)
  • Coconut-Head (13%, 1 Votes)
  • Babalugats (13%, 1 Votes)
  • Dragline (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 8

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