I was wondering what I was going to title this post today and since its Friday I automatically started down the TGIF something and something train of thought. It occurred to me I have probably used the TGIF moniker in a previous Friday post and I certainly don’t want to be repetitive if I can at all help it or care enough to remember.
Then I immediately remember today is Good Friday, or in the heathen parlance of our time the day those dirty dirty Jews (I love Jews don’t start the hate mail) bullshitted Pontius Pilate into killing Jesus. Why today is really called Good Friday I can’t say. In my minds eye, if I was having dinner with Jesus and we were talking about his crucifixion he would be all laid back chilling out, zapping his can of Red Bull into Jager Bombs, and recollect “man it might have been a Good Friday for all you sinners, but damn, it was a shitty day for me.”
Anyway back on target, I’m thinking can you really say Thank God its Friday, on the Friday God gave his only son to die for the rest of us? It would be like saying “Hey God, thanks for the day of beating the shit out of your kid and then nailing his ass to a couple of Glu-lam beams from down at the lumber yard for the sake of all the rest of us bastard and bitch sinners.
See these are the kinds of things I think about when trying to decide catchy new post titles for this blog.
Except my mind doesn’t just stop there. It continues on down the path of twisted, redonkulousness.
I am imagining me and Jesus hanging out, he’s turning the Red Bull into Jager Bombs, we’re getting tipsy, talking about how Good Friday was not so good for him. I ask what his father (God) thinks about us lowly sinners busting out a TGIF on Good Friday and the scenario in my head plays out, that Gods voice booms in the distance somewhat like the Wizard of Oz, Yoda, or some other dark Sith Lord
God: Brock there is another.
Me: Another what? Another Jesus?
God: There is another.
God: No dummy Nadia G.!
Then everything makes sense in the world. Nadia G from Bitchin Kitchen is the daughter of god. Then Jesus, sipping his Gin and Juice, (he gave up the Jager Bombs) looks over at me and by now you can tell he’s faded. “Hold on brother theres more.”
God: Brock instead of letting the dirty dirty Jews kill another one of my kids, you have to marry her and be her husband to save the sinners of the world again.
Me: Um yeah ok no problem God, but where is the great sacrifice? Hell I’d marry her just to see where she does her laundry.
God: She has no vagina.
Then instead of worrying about what the hell I am going to title this little blog post, I spend the rest of the day wondering, would I sacrifice to save all the worlds sinners again?
Nah just kidding. I only spent about five minutes wondering if I married Nadia G. my TV and internet crush who doesn’t have a vagina to save the rest of the world from sin. I would still marry her. Of course I would. To save the world? You’re darn right I would, Jesus looked over at me and said, “Don’t worry man she still has a mouth, and butt, the old man may be cruel with the life lessons but he’s not impossible.”
So happy Good Friday and Easter. Know that I truly love God, Jesus, the Jews, and Nadia G. The rest of you are pretty ok too.
Let ‘er rip, tater chips!