Well aint this a blogographical oddity, three weeks from everywhere!

Sorry for the long delay on this here old blogosphere, and a happy new years to you as well.

The holidays have passed, the new years is upon us and I made a cake.IMG_1988

Pineapple upside down cake. No biggie. Box cake mix. I grew the pineapple though.

I wish I could give you some exciting news. Like I had beers with the President, saved an old lady from a burning building or found Jimmy Hoffa. Alas, I can only attest to spending time with family, taking an editorial end of year rest from the blog and finally back here ready to take on another year of what you have come to expect of me. No one ever knows and whatever happens to strike my fancy.

Today a personal favorite, music.

The other night was the annual Grammys award show. Its shit and crap and I didn’t watch a single second of it. Caught some high lights from the mornings news and its about what I expected. Blah.

Black Sabbath, and Paul McCartney with the assistance of Dave Grohl and the remaining members of Nirvana won a Grammy. Thats cool I guess. As I have pontificated on this blog numerous times in the past, music today as a whole to me seems like crap. We have been trying to find the next big “thing” musically for about the last ten or so years if you ask me. I mean lets face reality for a second. If you’re Paul McCartney you can record yourself taking a good dump and if you can get Dave Grohl to stand around while doing it, you’re going to win a Grammy. I don’t blame the artists one bit. The industry that brings us music has been in such a state of flux the last fifteen years with the advent of file sharing, iTunes, internet radio that the lazy corporate music business model has been trying to find a way to screw us financially which is harder and harder to do in this day of instant sharing of information. Its not about musical talent any longer. Its about how many likes and shares and You Tube views you can get by teenage girls that dictates what we get to listen to.

Super Bowl is coming. Seattle wins. Heard it here first. Ok maybe you didn’t hear it here first, but I would like to see Seattle win. Frankly I’ll probably spend more time thinking about what kind of food to make and eat during the game then either of the teams involved.

Where were you on this day in 1986? I should back up a bit. Remember this day in 1986? Space shuttle Challenger blew to smithereens during blast off due to bureaucratic management bullshit about making a decision and owning up to it. None the less as I recall I was a freshman in high school sitting in a biology class. Word spread fast, Ronald Reagan said something about “Slipping the surely bounds of earth and touching gods face” or something close to that and a few years of investigation. Only to have the exact same problem with a lack of leadership and management decisions to be the leading cause of destroying the Shuttle Columbia on re-entry some years later. Some lessons are need to be learned more then once.

So thats about it really. I hope this finds you guys in good health. Oh yea Dragline and Coconut head say whats up.IMG_1995 Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Did you know?

pattonDid you know?

Did you know that humans (anatomically accurate and modern like you and me today) have been on earth dating back to the middle Paleolithic age? That’s about 200,000 years ago. Thats not Neanderthal man, or bi-pedal apes and evolution. Humans as you and I see each other with the same essential brain capacity for learning have been on this planet for about 200,000 years and thats simple fossil evidence backing that fact up. Good piece of time huh? Color TV, internet porn, canned Spam, the iPhone, thong panties, and self parallel parking cars. Not bad for 200,000 years. We sure have come a long way.

Did you know that from when the Wright brothers flew in the air under power for the very first time in human history, 65 years 7 months and 3 days later man stepped foot on the moon? Think about that for a minute.

We’ve been roaming this earth in our current form for a little more then 200,000 years. It took us less then seventy years from the very fist time we learned to fly, until we set foot on something other then earth 250K miles away in space.

In the grand scheme of things sixty-five or seventy years is but a blip a fraction of time in 200,000 years of human exisitence. One day we said “shit we can fly” and from that moment on a short sixty-five and a half years later we walked on the moon.

Imagine in human existence we made fire, the wheel, hunted animals, made communities, countries, governments, gun powder, war, electricity, cars, and in all that learning, living, and conquering in about a fraction of a bit of time taught ourselves to fly and then left the planet.

What have we done since the moon? Where has our human spirit of creation, learning, exploring and understanding taken us? I suggest and it is my opinion, FUCK ALL. We have done squat in 40 years.

Sure, some may argue we created cell phones, internet, satellite TV, shitty AOL and Amazon customer service phone centers in India and Pakistan. What is all that in the big picture? Its nothing. Its lazy, and greedy. I like lazy and greedy too, but really what have we done? In fundamentally five minutes of human history we learned to move through the air and then walk on another celestial body. Since that time, we have spent about half of what it took to learn to get to the moon and back, figuring out a way to get pizza delivered in thirty minutes or less and to send pictures of our cocks to hot women on the internet!

In 200,000 years of modern human history, I have to watch a family member in the prime of her life battle cancer!?

The smartest minds on this planet in sixty-five years found a way to lift a man off the ground and send him to the moon and back. Yet in 200,000 years those same smart minds have to look a mother and father in the eyes and say we don’t know what to do our how to cure your child of cancer. The same cancer those minds have known since about 300 BC. Thats about 2300 years for all you keeping score at home on your Gregorian calendar bingo punch cards.

There is something seriously the matter with this picture. You will notice I have left out religion and politics in any of this for reasons or blame. Blame rests solely on all of our shoulders. We have become lazy, and greedy. Lazy in that we have lost our desire to learn and conquer. Lazy to create. Lazy to elect representative government who fails to drive us to greatness with human interest at stake rather then their own.

Greedy because its more profitable in the therapeutic maintenance of terminal disease rather then its simple eradication. Greedy because hard on and erectile dysfunction pills are quicker to make, market and get FDA approval then say curing diabetes, congenital heart disease, and cancer.

We did this to ourselves. We all have to shoulder this blame. The only positive thing in all of this is, and its especially true for me and my fellow americans, is that we can at any time stand up and say, “WTF stop this madness.” We can demand accountability from our elected representatives or remove them from office. We can stop ignorance and the dumbing down of the general population by the mainstream media. We can take the money or raise the money and demand our brightest brains to cure disease. We can stop taking from one another and giving to others for someone else’s profit. We can empower industry to create what we want and need. We can learn, we can create we can cure. We are still free.

In California a 16 year old high school girl on a whim because she is pissed about her cell phone battery always draining, puts her head to work. She creates a super capacitor that can potentially charge a cellphone in 20 seconds.

How much money and computing power does our government spend in an hour, day, week, month, year dealing with taxes and the IRS?

How long would it take the scientists with all that IRS operating budget and computer power to say map all the human genetic code to cure disease?

Its not hard. All we have to do is demand it. Want it and we can make it so. When do we stand up? When do we say stop? Our governments and societies want this to look impossible. They are in business to stifle our will. Its not hard to change this. All we have to do is want it. We’re still free. We’re still the greatest and smartest generation. My only worry is for how long?

Let ‘er rip, tater chips.

Look mommy, there’s an airplane up in the sky

Did you see the frightened ones meteor
Did you hear the falling bombs
Did you ever wonder
Why we had to run for shelter

Well if you’re Russian that wasn’t any airplane. Just a meteor nothing to see here. Move along. TGIF!

But WAIT! There is more!

What if the meteor that slammed into Russia yesterday is not just a meteor? What if its merely a piece of “meteor shrapnel” from the bigger piece of asteroid that is supposed to pass by the earth at the closest distance since the dinosaurs were wiped out in the last planet wide armageddon? You guys know about the asteroid right?

Clicky Clicky Asteroid Clicky Clicky

What if the the world governments are all lying to us about the asteroid and its really going to strike the earth rather then passing by at 17,000 miles to preserve the peace? If NASA knew we were all going to die in nuclear winter because an asteroid the size of olympic sized swimming pool would hit the earth would they tell us? Whats the point? Do we spend the last days in holy terror knowing all life was going to cease to exist in a week, or just keep quiet and let us live out the last few days in unknowing bliss? Wake up Saturday morning and “BLINK” were all gone in a few seconds.

I don’t know man. I watched Armageddon! Where is Bruce Willis? Where is fucking ROCKHOUND man? We’ve got no supercharged space shuttles! Aerosmith didn’t even write us a damn soundtrack for this shit. I am not ready to go!

Grab yo shit. Grab yo kids. Head for the hills and your bunkers. I think were all going to die. I aint got time for this!

On the other hand. I’ve lived a good and interesting life so far and have no regrets. Well I do have some regrets but I swear I did the best I could with what I had at the time, so pretty much screw it lets get this over with I say. I am ready.

Who am I kidding? God, Karma, (insert your higher power here) wouldn’t wipe out the earths population in the middle of tax season. Destiny and chance couldn’t be in our favor that much. Yea we’ll live on now, I am sure of it.

False Alarm. Sorry folks. Move along nothing to see here.

TGIF and see you next week.

Let ‘er rip tater chip!


She grew up in an Indiana town

I was introduced and we both started groovin’
I said, “I dig you baby, but I got to keep movin’ on”

Another great weekend has come to pass. Naturally it went way too fast as they always do. I can’t bitch though, Felix Baumgartner’s weekend went way faster then mine. About 800+ MPH to be exact.

I have to give the guy credit and respect. Not for actually doing the stunt. Its been done before. Not quite as high, but there is a lot to be said when you are the first to do something like this with 1960’s technology.

What I do have respect for in Baumgartner is that he stuck to his dream of doing this and through all the set backs with law suits and money backer problems he followed through.

You and I can learn to skydive easy enough. Hell the army teaches retards how to do it at Ft Benning every year. (trust me I have met lots of them they are in fact retards. Marines! First to fight! Semper Fi!) Jumping out of planes and skydiving is not overly complicated. Doing it from the edge of space however and you’re more relying on your technical equipment to keep you alive. I am glad Felix got someone better then Walmart or Old Navy to build his suit and balloon.

In the end I think the biggest hurdle is conquering your own fears. In that regard Felix is an damn good example of what we can do and overcome.


The Jets move one into the “W” column this weekend as did Miami. Not bad, however it was a pleasure to watch Seattle break one off in New England’s ass. I love the Jets and always have, even in the lost years, but this abortion with Sanchez and Tebow is just not sitting right with me. Some kind of parity needs to be reached here and I have a suspicion that Sanchez isn’t long for the ride.


Walking Dead season three started last night. I know I am not the only one excited and or watching this series. What did you guys think? I thought the season was a little slow last year, but this year the new season started off great. Lots of zombie killing and the best part was hacking off Hershel’s leg with the axe. Thats primo TV if you ask me.

Comic Book Men also started its new season last night. If you’re not familiar with Comic Book Men its also on AMC. It revolves around Kevin Smith’s comic book store in Red Bank NJ, that some close friends of his run and manage. Its almost like Pawn Stars but with comic books and related nerd type toys. Its an excellent show and if you’ve ever listened to any of Kevin Smiths podcasts from his SMODCAST network then you will immediately recognize a lot of the characters on this show.


I know the question that is burning in everyones head. Did this jackass pressure clean the driveway? No. I was much too nice out. Theres always today though. Right after I mow the grass and start some laundry, because I didn’t do any of that crap either. Yes folks I pretty much took a knee this weekend. After work today, Monday has a beating waiting for me thats is for certain. No problem I can do it. Hey some douche just skydived from space in a  set of under-roos and a Star Trek walkie talkie. I can do anything damn it!!

Something just occurred to me.


We just put a man, and his equipment into the stratosphere (22+miles) with nothing but a helium balloon. Why the hell did NASA go broke building and maintaining those junk shuttles for 30+ years?

Build a couple of shuttles. Conventionally put them in low earth orbit which is accepted to be about 99 miles in altitude, then leave them there on auto-pilot. Put a few gas tanks in orbit too. Why send astronauts in and out of space with a rocket from the ground each time? Just send the astronauts up in lawn chairs and helium balloons  3/4 of the way and the rest of the way with a small jet pack to the shuttle waiting for them.

When the mission is over, they park the shuttle in its maintenance orbit, clean the toilets, pump out the shitter tanks, put a new crown air freshener on the dashboard and parachute back to earth.

The only thing limiting the lifting altitude of a helium ballon is the ability of the balloon material to expand without popping. NASA made velcro, can they not create material for a super balloon?

Our atmosphere is made up mostly of nitrogen and oxygen. Scientists already know Helium in its natural state occupies the top level of the atmosphere. All we would need to solve is the problem of material expansion of the balloon as it gets higher and higher. Even if the balloon only took the astronaut 2/3 or 3/4 of the way to the waiting shuttle or space capsule its got to be cheaper and easier to send just the people in and out of space rather then all the equipment every single time.

Look at this! Some Youtube, a pen, some napkins and a few beers and I just solved all of NASA’s space exploration issues in one weekend while scratching my ass and BBQ’s some hamburgers on my Big Green Egg. What the hell are we paying all those people with great big brains to do?

Enjoy your Monday as best you can. I have got to catch up on what I pissed off on this weekend. 😉


And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky


…a human being that was given to fly.

We lost a good one today. Neil Armstrong decided to check out for the last time this afternoon.

Sadly his death isn’t completely  shocking to me. At the age of 81 earlier this month Dr. Armstrong underwent heart surgery. His family has indicated he succumbed to complications from the cardiovascular procedures.

Living in Florida most of my life and living in the vicinity of the Kennedy Space Center during the closing years of the Apollo and later Space Lab missions, I can tell you the significance of NASA and space exploration had on me as a young boy. Every kid wanted to be an astronaut. Mr. Rogers had Apollo astronauts on his program. Sesame Street had astronauts on the program next to Ernie and Bert. However for me it was The Six Million Dollar Man. Col. Steve Austin the NASA pilot who crashes the x-plane and gets bionics. I ate that shit up.

As a small kid I got to go to Kennedy space center in its heyday. However the biggest impact was when NASA launched Sky Lab. We live about fifteen miles south of Kennedy/Patrick AFB in those days. Shy lab was launched on one of the remaining Saturn V boosters that was intended to take an Apollo crew to the moon before the program was shut down. I may have been all of five or six years old. We were on the beach living in Satellite Beach at the time. If you never saw an actual Saturn V launch in person I doubt I can put into  words the description of the events. I can however tell you from a five or six year olds perspective that it must be something incredible because we were at the beach fifteen miles or so away and I can clearly remember the surf was very calm that day. When the rocket took off, there was literally ripples in the Atlantic ocean as far as a six year old could see from the vibration of the launch. That day has stuck with me all my life. Neil Armstrong rode in one of those machines. What a lucky SOB. What balls that man must have had.

In honor of Neil’s death and the passing of a truly great American, I made my special Stuffed Bread for dinner. Check it below.


This is a recipe that I have been working on for about a year. Think a loaf of bread with the  ham and swiss cheese built in. Astronauts in the early days had to eat a lot of compact and freeze dried food. This is essentially a ham and swiss cheese sandwich loaf of bread right down to the mustard. Its all baked together. The bread is a simple cross between a stromboli and italian bread dough. I may have boosted the base recipe for the dough from King Arthurs cook book a couple years ago. You can pretty much do anything with it. I figured what the hell, why make a loaf of bread to make a sandwich when I can make it all at the same time. Im hardly the inventor of this as I have noted some similar recipes for this around the internet.

Simple really. Make the dough, let rise. Roll it out and spread on mustard, ham, and swiss cheese. Roll up, form into a loaf like shape, pinch edges of dough closed and let rise again. Bake 375 degrees for 35 minutes. Cool, slice then stuff face.

This is not on par with strapping ones ass to 7.5 million pounds of thrust heading to the moon, but I am proud of this none the less. Without Neil Armstrong and the early NASA astronauts fueling an entire generation of kids like myself to build and explore who knows, tonight I could have been blogging about opening up a can of beans and discussing the fart capacity between Campbell’s and Bush’s.

If theres interest in the recipe, make a note in the comments and I’ll post a print friendly version for you.

So long and happy journey Neil Armstrong. Buzz wont be bitching about you going first on this one.