Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?

OverthelineIts another TGIF around the Whats Up Brock empire and I for one am glad. I can’t quite put my finger on it but its been a long week.

Between the Honda Classic with Tiger Woods just down the road and a couple of cops getting shot yesterday morning the local news has been jam packed full of insanity. Insanity  that news folks and those that produce news television are complete morons. Sadly the crap they show us on the news is a direct reflection of society as a whole. They show us what we (collectively) want to see and hear about. This saddens me, because it becomes clearer to me each day that I am literally surround by idiots.

News folks love selling misery, perceived imminent weather death, and hero worship.

I live in a tropical hurricane zone. I know this. Its averaged 77 degrees this winter, I put up with the possibility of hurricanes. I don’t need 24X7 coverage every time a fart in a whirlwind spawns off the coast of ass-crack Africa. Let NOAA give me 48 hours notice before landfall and I am good.

A cop was shot and killed yesterday during a routine traffic stop. No rhyme, no reason, just a shitty thing. A shitty thing to die, but for Christ sake, it was a cop. Its part of his job. If you want to be a cop, and you follow around a known scumbag who has been in trouble, before, you ran his tags and know its him, then you wait for him to coast through a stop sign and pull him over, then guess what? Be ready for the unknown. In this case getting your ass shot the hell up by a lowlife piece of shit. Its part of the job and you accept that and if you don’t then find a new line of work. I feel bad for the cops family honest, but I dont need 48 hours of local news idiots pre-empting my Ellen Show to sit and pontificate why a drug dealing scumbag shot and killed a sheriff deputy for pulling him over. Its life, it sucks sometimes, move along nothing to see here.

I am all for local events and sporting activity. Anything that helps the local economy is ok and good in my book. The last fifteen or so years PGA national has been putting on the Honda Classic golf tournament. Last year El Tigre’ or Tiger “the meatshank” Woods has been playing in the tournament. Yes I understand he’s awesome and the crowds he draws I think are great. However for the last thirteen years the news could hardly give two shits about the Honda Classic and it was barely a thirty second blurb on the 11:00pm newscast. Now with Tiger playing, all the local news is camped out at the tournament. Tiger this, Tiger that, I wonder if Tiger will get caught banging Lindsey Vonn behind the Titleist bus in a full leg cast? The news doesn’t give half a shit about Tiger. The news are a bunch of vultures waiting to catch the guy bust a nut in some other whore, then judge the guy for falling from grace as the golf hero everyone loves and looks up to. The news and media made the guy the hero, but the reality is he’s just a damn great golfer who likes to get laid and hit some strange. Really who’s dreams are crushed here? It certainly isn’t Tigers. He’s living true to himself. Its the media who put the guy up on a pedestal and made him holier then thou and when they find out he isn’t the almighty world saving golf hero they wanted him to be, they chase and camp out faking interest in his golf waiting for him to be  a normal  asshole again.

As much as I rail against the news idiots for showing this shit and behaving the way they do, I have to sit and remind myself, they are only giving us shit because we demand to see the shit. Its ratings and they know we watch the cockamamie garbage they put out. They give us exactly what we want to see. I dont want to see it per-se but it saddens me that enough of my idiot neighbors and countrymen want to see it because it proves we’re doomed.

The only thing, and I mean only thing the news stations do right is the weather. No they have no more weather expertise then looking at doppler radar, seeing no rain, and then broadcasting “slim chance of rain today”. Any one of us could do the exact same thing. Where the news station does this right in my book, is very simple. They get a mid to late twenty something blond hottie with great tits and legs to tell me what I already know. I haven’t yet watched a news weather broadcast from my local NBC station where I have actually listened to the young lady (Kait Parker, Kait Parker I love you Kait Parker) and heard a damn thing she was saying about the weather. No sir. I look at the lovely Ms. Parker and dream about what her cute skirt would do in a hurricane, a light mist on her long bare legs, the tank top under her casual Friday business coat that not buttoned getting wet, the ever just barely pronounced nipple staining against the taut fabric….and my mind thinking, such a beautiful woman, shame she is brainwashed into thinking what she is doing right this second a semi-trianed chimp couldn’t also do.

So yeah, its a TGIF today for sure. I predict its going to be sunny with a chance of showers with a cool front then it will get warm again. And rain again, and …..

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

This is my rifle. There are many like it but….

If the Army and Navy ever look on heavens scenes

They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.

It seems Col. Allen West has crushed the nuts of Sheriff Robert Crowder in the District 18 republican primary which I am all too happy to announce. Col. West is a no BS congressional star who is actually doing some good in Washington. Congrats to his victory.

It also seems the United States crushed ass at the Olympics. Not that I would know much since NBC’s coverage of the games sucked balls.

Then we landed a small SUV sized rover on Mars. Not that its not been done before, because it has. Only this time the new fangled way of getting the rover to the planet’s surface has never been tried before and the engineers and scientists who created the system couldn’t fully test the procedure here on earth outside of computer simulation and good old math analysis. Another major achievement.

I celebrated all this United States awesomeness Saturday by making and eating a patty melt.

Bill Gates (Microsoft founder, rich guy, philanthropist) is running around the world giving his money away for vaccines in third world countries, education and other basic human goodness. Well it seems now Bill has determined that something like 70% of the world cant take a decent healthy clean shit due to lack of access to a proper toilet. Mr. Gates is also disturbed that toilet engineering and technology basically hasn’t changed in the last thirty years. Gates has started a new initiative to get better and cleaner toilets to the world. FINALLY something from Mr. Microsoft I can get behind, because I have been taking shits all over their products for years.

What happened?

Keep your eyes on the road, your hands up on the wheel.

We’er going to the roadhouse we’re going to have a real….good time.

Does anyone else not give a crap about the summer olympics? What was that abortion of an opening ceremony about, and how did it have anything to do with the olympic games and the world wide competition of everything sports? These observations not withstanding, trying to watch the olympics on NBC is as futile an exercise as trying to perform an appendectomy on yourself. Nothing is live on NBC. What’s the point? Ellen and Rachel Ray trump the olympics?

This semi rant kind of brings me to the point of this post. What the hell happened to industry in this country?

In a time when we live with instantaneous access to information at our fingertips how in the hell do corporations not know whom their customers are and what they want? Lets look at some things that have failed or are currently circling the drain.

Newspapers. That whole internet fad, came back to bite them in the ass didn’t it? Who actually buys a newspaper that is below the age of seventy five years old? The writing and reporting in newspapers has always sucked balls with a bias slant this way or that way. The issue was it was ok to have shit writing and reporting where else were you going to go? We were stuck. That is until the internet. Now I can read a newspaper or magazine from any city in the world and if the content writing or reporting sucked I could jump ship to another publication in three clicks of the mouse. This didn’t kill the newspapers, what killed the newspapers is the fundamental lack of foresight and leadership. The newspapers for more then a hundred years only knew how to make money one way. Selling advertising within the publication. When the world wide web came along, non of the management gave a serious thought of how to transition to online advertising or how to effectively make money by selling it.

Same thing is happening with TV. Cable and satellite providers better wake up. Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Hulu and a host of other on-demand content providers are going to free us from the proverbial viagra, and vaginal lube commercials we are all subject to as these companies gain more market share. Who actually watches more then about six channels with any regularity? I don’t. Only problem is in order to watch those six channels, my satellite provider makes me buy into a channel package full of shit channels I’ll never watch.

Want to watch Jon Stewart or Tosh, then you have to pay for a half dozen other MTV “thirteen year old opps I fucked a dirtbag and now I’m a pregnant teen channels.”

Cable and satellite providers know what is happening with on demand content providers and how its going to affect the way they do business. You have any idea what they are doing about it? You guessed it. Nothing. They’re stuck with “the old dinosaur ways of advertising revenue”.

Look at simple retail. Anyone try and buy something electronic from Best Buy in the last two to three years? How was the experience?

Been to a Lowes or a Home Depot and try and get the simplest degree of customer service or ask where a toilet flange bolt is located? Good Luck.

Do I really need to mention Wal-Mart?

We used to produce things in this country. Wether it was durable goods or providing some kind of service. Now not so much.

This country is lazy. That same lazy elected a president that actually had the balls to say something to the effect “that any of the few business left in the country that the founders of those businesses didn’t really create the business”. Of course now our President claims the statement was taken out of context, but after hearing the speech, what earthly context could have been appropriate to make any such statement to citizens of this country during these economic times?

I don’t know what happened to this country. I will say that come election time in November, “Keep your eyes on the road and your hands up on the wheel”. Our current President is not a leader he’s a warden, and Johnny Cash has something for prison wardens.

Haters, cheaters and gun controllers are all going to..

So you think that its over

That your love has finally reached the end.

Anytime you call night or day, I’ll be right there for you if you need a friend…

…keep on hating cheating and trying to control our guns. Any guess what this entry is going to be about?

As expected since this past Friday and the horrible events in the Colorado movie theater, every talking head in the media entertainment and political arena has been spouting “WE NEED MORE GUN CONTROL”.

The media has played this one just as one would expect a fat chick at an all you can eat buffet.

First, they (media) try and make a connection to the actual movie Batman. Ok nothing there. Violence on TV? Nah thats not sticking. Bad parents? No known issues there either. Shit the kid was highly educated and well thought of, if not a little introverted and a loner. Christ, watching the media trying to assign blame and make sense of this senseless act is like watching…well its like watching…..I don’t know what its like watching, so insert the proverbial synonymous act here of watching something you know that is not going to end in success. I thought about inserting the old retarded kid trying to tell you he/she just shit their pants thing, but this blog is brand new. Lets not wipe all the classy and new car smell off quite yet.

So whats the last thing anyone can grab a hold of?

“Well, well um….who really needs ASSAULT WEAPONS anyway? We have to ban them!”

Insane. People are idiots. I especially love how the pro-gun control preface all their circular logic arguments with “hunting guns like rifles and shotguns are ok and handguns for self defense are acceptable but who needs an assault weapon? They were especially made to kill efficiently.” Ahhh yea heres a little clue morons, every single firearm ever created will kill your ass deader then a goddamn doornail if in the hands of someone intent on doing harm to someone else or in some cases themselves.

If I cant own an assault weapon, tell the stuck up broad she doesn’t need a five carat diamond ring when one carat is acceptable. Tell the mid life crisis douche he doesn’t need the Corvette, the Malibu goes plenty fast enough to kill himself in and it comes in red paint too. Tell everyone in congress who want to ban “Assault” weapons that its not a problem right after they switch their insurance to basic Blue Cross Blue Shield HMO and their pensions are no longer funded and they can contribute 20% pre-tax to some shitty 401K if they want.

Very simply its choices and freedom. Don’t give yours away, and think beyond your own myopic views before trying to take away someone else’s.

Cheating? http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=746037

Really?! Both sexes own this issue equally. The only difference I can see is when it happens to women, they pretty much go off the deep end and swear all examples of the opposite sex are the same. When it happens to guys we pretty much lose it in an initial fit of rage, call you a cunt and then try to screw your sister or best friend. In a week we’re ok.

Girls who have been cheated on will go months and years looking to avoid being cheated on again in new relationships often times to the detriment to the relationship. Guys, well we learn what a cheater looks and acts like, we can smell them from a mile away, but a great set of tits and a nice ass trumps everything. Then when the cheating happens, we’re shocked and use the “cunt” word again, dirty sanchez the sister or BFF and a week later, start the cycle all over again.

…and we wonder why more “intelligent life” from another planet hasn’t visited us yet?

Haters? Well we all know they are going to hate. Be yourselves. Well unless she has a great set of tits a nice ass with five carat diamonds and a Corvette parked outside. Step your game up and keep an eye out for her sister and best friend as you’ll be getting to know them soon too.