Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?

OverthelineIts another TGIF around the Whats Up Brock empire and I for one am glad. I can’t quite put my finger on it but its been a long week.

Between the Honda Classic with Tiger Woods just down the road and a couple of cops getting shot yesterday morning the local news has been jam packed full of insanity. Insanity  that news folks and those that produce news television are complete morons. Sadly the crap they show us on the news is a direct reflection of society as a whole. They show us what we (collectively) want to see and hear about. This saddens me, because it becomes clearer to me each day that I am literally surround by idiots.

News folks love selling misery, perceived imminent weather death, and hero worship.

I live in a tropical hurricane zone. I know this. Its averaged 77 degrees this winter, I put up with the possibility of hurricanes. I don’t need 24X7 coverage every time a fart in a whirlwind spawns off the coast of ass-crack Africa. Let NOAA give me 48 hours notice before landfall and I am good.

A cop was shot and killed yesterday during a routine traffic stop. No rhyme, no reason, just a shitty thing. A shitty thing to die, but for Christ sake, it was a cop. Its part of his job. If you want to be a cop, and you follow around a known scumbag who has been in trouble, before, you ran his tags and know its him, then you wait for him to coast through a stop sign and pull him over, then guess what? Be ready for the unknown. In this case getting your ass shot the hell up by a lowlife piece of shit. Its part of the job and you accept that and if you don’t then find a new line of work. I feel bad for the cops family honest, but I dont need 48 hours of local news idiots pre-empting my Ellen Show to sit and pontificate why a drug dealing scumbag shot and killed a sheriff deputy for pulling him over. Its life, it sucks sometimes, move along nothing to see here.

I am all for local events and sporting activity. Anything that helps the local economy is ok and good in my book. The last fifteen or so years PGA national has been putting on the Honda Classic golf tournament. Last year El Tigre’ or Tiger “the meatshank” Woods has been playing in the tournament. Yes I understand he’s awesome and the crowds he draws I think are great. However for the last thirteen years the news could hardly give two shits about the Honda Classic and it was barely a thirty second blurb on the 11:00pm newscast. Now with Tiger playing, all the local news is camped out at the tournament. Tiger this, Tiger that, I wonder if Tiger will get caught banging Lindsey Vonn behind the Titleist bus in a full leg cast? The news doesn’t give half a shit about Tiger. The news are a bunch of vultures waiting to catch the guy bust a nut in some other whore, then judge the guy for falling from grace as the golf hero everyone loves and looks up to. The news and media made the guy the hero, but the reality is he’s just a damn great golfer who likes to get laid and hit some strange. Really who’s dreams are crushed here? It certainly isn’t Tigers. He’s living true to himself. Its the media who put the guy up on a pedestal and made him holier then thou and when they find out he isn’t the almighty world saving golf hero they wanted him to be, they chase and camp out faking interest in his golf waiting for him to be  a normal  asshole again.

As much as I rail against the news idiots for showing this shit and behaving the way they do, I have to sit and remind myself, they are only giving us shit because we demand to see the shit. Its ratings and they know we watch the cockamamie garbage they put out. They give us exactly what we want to see. I dont want to see it per-se but it saddens me that enough of my idiot neighbors and countrymen want to see it because it proves we’re doomed.

The only thing, and I mean only thing the news stations do right is the weather. No they have no more weather expertise then looking at doppler radar, seeing no rain, and then broadcasting “slim chance of rain today”. Any one of us could do the exact same thing. Where the news station does this right in my book, is very simple. They get a mid to late twenty something blond hottie with great tits and legs to tell me what I already know. I haven’t yet watched a news weather broadcast from my local NBC station where I have actually listened to the young lady (Kait Parker, Kait Parker I love you Kait Parker) and heard a damn thing she was saying about the weather. No sir. I look at the lovely Ms. Parker and dream about what her cute skirt would do in a hurricane, a light mist on her long bare legs, the tank top under her casual Friday business coat that not buttoned getting wet, the ever just barely pronounced nipple staining against the taut fabric….and my mind thinking, such a beautiful woman, shame she is brainwashed into thinking what she is doing right this second a semi-trianed chimp couldn’t also do.

So yeah, its a TGIF today for sure. I predict its going to be sunny with a chance of showers with a cool front then it will get warm again. And rain again, and …..

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

Alive in the Superunknown

If this doesn’t make you free Friday
It doesn’t mean you’re tied
If this doesn’t take you down
It doesn’t mean you’re high
If this doesn’t make you smile
You don’t have to cry
If this isn’t making sense
It doesn’t make it lies

Another TGIF, and here’s to hoping its a quick and easy day for all of us.

As I sit here writing this quick post, drinking my coffee, the news is on in the background about some pissed off cop out in California who’s cheese has slipped off his cracker and killing fellow cops. Seems this guy thinks he was unfairly treated and then terminated by the police department where he used to work. After a rather lengthy and rambling manifesto, killing three officers, he’s now on the run with the entire law enforcement community looking for him.

Other then feeling bad about innocent people having to needlessly die, the only thing I can think about in all of this is the following:

Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins.

Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen

Ok all joking aside. I hope the authorities catch the guy before he kills someone else. However there is a part of me that wants the guy to succeed and go on killing cops at will. The make-believe not in the real world part of my silly fantasies part of me of course. Why? Easy. In a sick twisted way this Chris Dorner guy is the underdog fighting “The Man” whom he has perceived has done him wrong. Remember I only think this in my wildest, deepest make-believe fantasies, I dont condone killing cops or anyone else for no good reason, although Mr. Dorner seems to think he has good reason, clearly he’s not well.

In a weird way, I think if you’re going to go bat shit crazy and create havoc in the world then go for it but clearly and carefully choose the target of your wrath and stay committed to your cause. In this case Dorner has a beef with the police/cops and he has chosen to target those people so far and only those people.

In a way, I think if everyone who went on crazy killing sprees did this, it would better illustrate their points and secondly it keeps those they target and go after more responsible and accountable.

Let me explain further. Everyone hates the IRS. Some hate the IRS so much they get to a point, and pick up a gun or knife and go killing innocent non-IRS people. All this does is confirm you lost your damn mind and killed innocent people. You are on the news five minutes, caught, on court tv, thrown in prison for life or executed and then forgotten forever. You’re not even a footnote in history.

Now if every IRS hating person who chose to go crazy, only went after IRS people in their murderous rampage, then what happens? People start to think, “Why the hell are all these IRS people getting killed by these crazy people?” People start looking into the IRS and the IRS starts looking at itself trying to figure how or what they are doing wrong that people are targeting them. Things at the IRS change. See how that works? See how that works in my own admittedly twisted logic?

In my overly simplified example above you can replace IRS for, Abortion Doctors, Child molesters, Congress, Senators, Walmart anything under the sun really. If you’re going to go crazy and kill people, dont kill innocent people who in no way are connected to your rage. Kill the people or members of the organization that wronged you.

Oh and leave a rambling manifesto too. Those really help to squash any media bias and ratings mongering speculation. You kill twenty catholic priests, and in the end flash your gun at the police so they have to shoot you, the news reports, “obviously this individual was a deranged person who held no value on the lives of innocent people”. You leave a manifesto that explains for years as a small boy you were repeatedly molested as a child by a half dozen priests who never had to face any consequences and were just hidden and moved to new parishes by the Pope or Bishops, its hard to spin or deny the fact that “well the guy may have a small beef with the church.”

So what have we learned here kids? If you’re going to lose you damn mind and kill people:

  1. Figure out who you’re mad at and target those people only.
  2. Leave a long rambling missive about why you’re pissed, who you hate, and also that you love Justin Bieber and Tim Tebow.
  3. Don’t get caught, or if you do, don’t surrender. Kill yourself or point your gun/weapon at the police and let them kill you.

Or you could just not be a freaking lunatic, lose your self control and hurt/kill innocent people. Of course I wont have any fodder for my fantasy world underdog of bad taking a bite out of good, or good taking a bit out of bad depending on who’s getting the killing, but thats ok, there always my go to fall back of midget and stump porn.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!