These are great days we’re living, bros

………We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.

You know how I have determined I am getting old? No really. It finally clicked. See to me age is more or less a state of mind. I never was one to sweat or worry about birthdays or dread the big 30 or couch couch 40. Generally speaking I am a firm believer you’re only as old as you feel. I feel good most of the time. I may not be as spry as I was in my early twenties, it may take a little longer to recover from a hang over, but age to me is generally a non-issue. I have dated younger, older no trouble.

Finally it clicked to me. I am getting fucking old. How did all this come about, you may ask? Easy! I found a new favorite restaurant.

Pho Now. Its a Vietnamese food place around the corner from the house. I had read about it online a couple months ago. My brother finally went to it and said the food was good. I pulled in and tried it this past Saturday. Its really good. Imagine Thai food-ish but better.

Anyway I stopped in and ate there this past Saturday. I wanted banh mi which is basically a sandwich made out of French baguette. They were out of bread, so I went with a bowl of basically ramen. However this isn’t like the $.25 cent ramen noodles most of us ate to get through college or the service. This has beef and meatballs, bean sprouts, cilantro, carrots basil and jalapeños. Spicy and flavorful. It was almost like I was back on some street in Siagon, and Charlie was celebrating TET new years by shooting off fireworks down in dog patch. Ok maybe not that part, but it was really good. It was pretty cheap, and it was a mile and a half from the house.

I go home satisfied. I thought about that damn meal all freaking day. It was fresh, flavorful, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like I had met my soulmate for christ’s sake. Don’t get me wrong I have had and made great food in my life. What was so special about this other then what I have stated above?

Now like three or four days later, I am still thinking about that damn food like its a woman. No really, I am not losing my mind goddamn it. Or maybe I am? Oh shit. I have been debating about going back for more of this food but, and I swear I have been having an internal struggle. “Do I go back so soon? Should a wait a week before I show back up? If I go again so soon will I seem desperate?”

See what I mean? I have gotten so old, I am now treating new restaurant and food find like I have met the next great love of my life. What the hell happened to me? How did this happen? What is next? Thanking god I can still get horizontal, pee standing up and regularly take a good shit?

I don’t like this realization one bit. I love that damn food and restaurant, but how I have somehow replaced the love and excitement for say a beautiful woman for that of a bowl of good gook noodles is troubling.

My only rationalization is that this is what its like to get old.


I refuse to let this happen. I will go cleanse my soul with a good dose of internet pornography tonight. Right after I translate a few Vietnamese words on Google translator and decide what I am ordering for dinner tomorrow night.Phodacbiet

Stay calm and carry on.

By now we all the know the answer to the big question. It seems that what I was afraid was going to happen actually happened.

In America you’re not going to win an election for president without support from women, the blacks or hispanics. As polarizing as that statement may be its the cold hard truth. Lets look at the numbers a little more closely.

Obama had 93% of the black vote. Obamas administration and the democratic party cater to this demographic and have essentially enslaved them with government programs such as welfare, food stamps, healthcare, unemployment. When you’re Mitt Romney and trying to ride the Reagan wave of the 80’s with voters you can not alienate this group with silly off hand comments of “47%’ers” not paying their way no matter how true it may be! Being white and trying to convince this core group of voters to vote for you when they have a black candidate who signs the checks is hurdle enough. Yes its a race problem. The majority of the 93% black vote went to Obama because he is black. Its that simple and anyone arguing otherwise is a liar or just plain stupid. Compound that ideology with providing this core group of voters with the government programs the republican party wants to trim and shrink down in the name of personal responsibility and you have an up hill battle. Romney failed miserably with this demographic and so does the republican party.

Obama had 69-70% of the hispanic/latino vote. This I would not directly blame Mitt Romney more then I would blame the republican party itself. Mitt knew this was an issue early in the race and went to the republican party and explained to them the national conversation on the hispanic and latino issue should be integration and legal immigration rather then deportation. The republicans and tea-party old school lives by “send the goddamn illegals back home, fuck em”! Well guess what? Who do you think is coming to this country and actually doing all the work and busting their asses that the 93% of the group mentioned above does NOT do? YEP. Love it or hate it the hispanic and latinos in this country are the ones picking fruit, mowing grass, laying tile, basically doing all the shit work in this country the blacks wont do. When you as the republican party go after this group with threats of deportation (Arizona) you’re not going to win favors or votes with the group. Mitt knew and understands this. The republican party however is stuck in the dark ages on this matter. The solution is not to just deport the illegals, the solution is to get the illegals here that are working, legal and on the fucking TAX ROLLS.

Obama had 55% of married women and 68% of unmarried women. Do we even need to discuss this? Abortion. Look there is nothing wrong with having religious convictions and those convictions shaping who you are and how you conduct yourself. No one is taking that away from anyone. The bottom line however is pretty clear and simple. Shut the fuck up about it, its not your problem. Abortion is a states right issue. It has no place at the national level. Down to the brass tacks? It’s a woman’s right and hers and hers alone issue. The feds have no more right telling a religious organization to provide birth control as the fed has a right saying a woman can not have free access to it. Whether you like it or don’t abortion is a form of birth control. No one cares what your god says about abortion and no one is taking away your belief in what your god tells you to think about abortion. The sooner we all accept this and stop trying to shove our morality or lack of down the throats of the other the better we will all be. Here’s another tip to the republicans. Douche out your fucking head gear. Homosexuals live among us and they are a fact of life. They are going to get married, love each other, adopt and raise kids. Again the fags aren’t shoving their lifestyle down anyones throat and this notion that two queers can get married and it somehow negates your marriage between you and your wife/husband is silly and just plain bullshit. Get used to it. Your marriage to your wife/husband will never be any less sanctified to you and your god just because two dudes or two women want to have the same piece of government paper saying they are married as you and your wife/husband have.

I think Mitt could have been a good President. Obama is still an evil socialist pig. However, Obama didn’t do anything in this election any other democrat would have done. Obama played the cards the republican party dealt him. Until we as the republican party stop handing these elections away to the democrats by simple and stupid mistakes we are going to slide the slippery slope to universal and socialized everything that Obama and his party are greasing the skids to right now.

One of two things is the only way out of this mess we are creating for ourselves.

Outright revolt and revolution. By that I mean we attack and take back everything and re-boot. Taxes, government, term limits for house and senate, two party system, campaign finance etc. We allowed these scumbags to legislate the system into a good old boys/girls club that has NOTHING to do with the people they are claiming to represent. Its about $ and self preservation.


The republican / conservative party really takes a good hard look at itself. This isn’t fucking 1980 anymore. Ronald Reagan was great and awesome, but we don’t need another and the people who voted him in office aren’t here any more. By “here” I mean way the fuck out in the fringe of right wing conservatism. We as a political party are going nowhere until we convince those centralist voters who are heading and gone left in the last two elections to come back this way. You cant just bargain with those people with a promise of a good job any more. Especially when the democrats and socialists are providing proof to them they can take the attitude of “fuck a job, I got a free Obama phone”. Give them work, give them dignity to succeed and be responsible. Do not trade one for another with religious morality, deportation and true deserved welfare necessity.

I can go on about how Obama is a fraud, and an anti-colonial apologist who is hell bent on making America into a 3rd and 4th rate nation. It will be a miracle if we pull out of this next presidential term in tact as a super power able to compete and protect ourselves in the world. There is a lot to worry about and hate with the administration. However, as a republican and conservative there is whole bunch wrong we as a party need to unfuck and clean up internally if we think we are ever going to regain power and restore this nation to true prosperity and greatness.

So in the meantime I am taking the attitude to Stay Calm and Carry On. I’ll protect my money and assets as best as I can. I’ll watch with interest how we as a party stop this polarizing bullshit, and hope we can work things back this way through peaceful means. If not let the revolution begin. I am ready to go to ground, and I wont feel bad at all when we line up all the traitors against the wall.

As the great American poet Mr. Williams Jr. once said

I can skin a buck and run a trout line because a country boy can…..


Moving to the country, I am going to eat a lot of…

Peaches come from a can they were put there by a man

In a factory downtown.

If I had my little way I’d eat peaches everyday.

Sun soakin’ bulges in the shade.
I’ve often thought about relocating from my current residence in the fine state of Florida to somewhere more rural.

“You don’t have to leave Florida to be more rural.”

True, but I often think more rural with four actual seasons instead of one. Florida is pretty much one season, hot and wet. Sure we get a few days of winter, but then its back to the same heat. A fall or spring would be nice.

I also find myself tired of most of the inhabitants of the state. Florida is for the most part the melting pot of ignorance and intolerance. There are few true Floridians or “crackers” as they have been known to be called. Most Floridians are from somewhere else. Particularly New Jersey or New York. Hell I am one of them.

Between career and military service I have pretty much traveled all over the world. I am not ready to renounce my citizenship and abandon my country yet. Although I do keep a short list of non-extraditable countries in the back of my head, should the need arise.

So I find myself thinking about relocation within the forty-eight contiguous states and it always seem to come back to one thing. Women.

You see throughout my life’s travels I have pretty much graded all the geographic locations I have visited by the types and my perceived notion of the quality of women that lived in each area.

Yes I know its silly. Yes I know its ridiculous. Yes I know truly there is no way to judge a geographical location to live based on what I think about at best a half dozen women in those locations. At my age, I don’t have much time for reasonable and this is women I am talking about. Really? Reasonable? Women? Me?

So yeah, my short list of more rural places to live or not so rural but with USDA Grade A Prime women, to move to and live in:

Spartanburg, South Carolina. A few years ago I flew into Spartanburg, SC. to vet out and train with a software developer located there. Between the companies offices, the downtown area and pretty much every single woman I laid my eyes on in a seventy-two hour time frame, I did not see one unattractive woman. Not one. Manners, general attitude, pleasant dispositions you name it. It was like God himself on a whim blasted out a perfect place in the universe where all the women, were beautiful, pleasant, and sane. In fact the software was for drug store and pharmacy management, and we visited a drug store in town where the software was installed to see it in action.While in the drug store, I didn’t even see tampons for sale. God made the women of Spartanburg, SC so freaking perfect they don’t even have periods. I swear I could hear angles singing while walking down the streets.

Next location. Dallas, Texas. Same thing, flew to Dallas a few times to deal with clients while working in the telecom business. Now granted I am not naive enough to think all the women of Dallas are visions of perfection as is Spartanburg, SC. Everything is bigger in Texas. Particularly tits. Now I am not a tit man. I mean they’re nice and I’ll play “the front nine” with a style and ease to…Dance Dance Dance the night Away….sorry small Van Halen hijack. Yeah, not a big tit guy, but the women of Dallas, like the women of Spartanburg, are exceptionally polite, classy, down home-ish, and being Texan gun toting, ass kicking, freedom loving and god fearing conservatives which is right in my wheel house.

Indianapolis, Indiana. Now Indiana is a special exception. I have never been to Indiana. I have a bunch of friends there. The best sex I ever had was with a woman from Indiana. Lastly Indiana has the Indianapolis 500. Like Bunny said in Platoon, “there ain’t nothing better then the Indy 500, ‘cept maybe a piece of pussy.” I have been invited many times to visit Indiana. Hell some friends have invited me to the 500. There has always been some plans or reasons I could not accept the offers. Frankly I think its gods will I never go, because in my rather twisted mind, I imagine all the women are as good in bed as my previous Indiana love affair. Add that to the Indy 500 and I’ll be a fucking Hoosier in a month.

Chicago, Illinois. Been a few times. Nice city, lots to do, still kind of midwest. Cute girls. Lots of Pollocks, and lunatic Democrats. Short enough distance to ride Harley to Sturgis, SD every August. Still though, taxes and Democrats.

Alas, most all my friends and family are here in Florida. Most of my friends go back to the first grade or there about in elementary school. My mother and father are still alive and married. We still talk an get along well. Same with brothers. I may be eternally single, always looking for that “one” but if I am judged by the friends and family I have, both near and far, then I am more then one lucky son of a bitch. I’m doing pretty good in life all things considered. Think I’ll stay put around here, a little longer.

Doesn’t mean I wont be visiting Indiana soon, and trying to screw every woman this silver tongued liar can get into bed. Who am I kidding? I’ll settle for the 500 in the month of May one of these years, and cherish the memories of that one particular Hoosier woman a little longer.

Home sweet Florida home.

Haters, cheaters and gun controllers are all going to..

So you think that its over

That your love has finally reached the end.

Anytime you call night or day, I’ll be right there for you if you need a friend…

…keep on hating cheating and trying to control our guns. Any guess what this entry is going to be about?

As expected since this past Friday and the horrible events in the Colorado movie theater, every talking head in the media entertainment and political arena has been spouting “WE NEED MORE GUN CONTROL”.

The media has played this one just as one would expect a fat chick at an all you can eat buffet.

First, they (media) try and make a connection to the actual movie Batman. Ok nothing there. Violence on TV? Nah thats not sticking. Bad parents? No known issues there either. Shit the kid was highly educated and well thought of, if not a little introverted and a loner. Christ, watching the media trying to assign blame and make sense of this senseless act is like watching…well its like watching…..I don’t know what its like watching, so insert the proverbial synonymous act here of watching something you know that is not going to end in success. I thought about inserting the old retarded kid trying to tell you he/she just shit their pants thing, but this blog is brand new. Lets not wipe all the classy and new car smell off quite yet.

So whats the last thing anyone can grab a hold of?

“Well, well um….who really needs ASSAULT WEAPONS anyway? We have to ban them!”

Insane. People are idiots. I especially love how the pro-gun control preface all their circular logic arguments with “hunting guns like rifles and shotguns are ok and handguns for self defense are acceptable but who needs an assault weapon? They were especially made to kill efficiently.” Ahhh yea heres a little clue morons, every single firearm ever created will kill your ass deader then a goddamn doornail if in the hands of someone intent on doing harm to someone else or in some cases themselves.

If I cant own an assault weapon, tell the stuck up broad she doesn’t need a five carat diamond ring when one carat is acceptable. Tell the mid life crisis douche he doesn’t need the Corvette, the Malibu goes plenty fast enough to kill himself in and it comes in red paint too. Tell everyone in congress who want to ban “Assault” weapons that its not a problem right after they switch their insurance to basic Blue Cross Blue Shield HMO and their pensions are no longer funded and they can contribute 20% pre-tax to some shitty 401K if they want.

Very simply its choices and freedom. Don’t give yours away, and think beyond your own myopic views before trying to take away someone else’s.


Really?! Both sexes own this issue equally. The only difference I can see is when it happens to women, they pretty much go off the deep end and swear all examples of the opposite sex are the same. When it happens to guys we pretty much lose it in an initial fit of rage, call you a cunt and then try to screw your sister or best friend. In a week we’re ok.

Girls who have been cheated on will go months and years looking to avoid being cheated on again in new relationships often times to the detriment to the relationship. Guys, well we learn what a cheater looks and acts like, we can smell them from a mile away, but a great set of tits and a nice ass trumps everything. Then when the cheating happens, we’re shocked and use the “cunt” word again, dirty sanchez the sister or BFF and a week later, start the cycle all over again.

…and we wonder why more “intelligent life” from another planet hasn’t visited us yet?

Haters? Well we all know they are going to hate. Be yourselves. Well unless she has a great set of tits a nice ass with five carat diamonds and a Corvette parked outside. Step your game up and keep an eye out for her sister and best friend as you’ll be getting to know them soon too.