This is my rifle. There are many like it but….

If the Army and Navy ever look on heavens scenes

They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.

It seems Col. Allen West has crushed the nuts of Sheriff Robert Crowder in the District 18 republican primary which I am all too happy to announce. Col. West is a no BS congressional star who is actually doing some good in Washington. Congrats to his victory.

It also seems the United States crushed ass at the Olympics. Not that I would know much since NBC’s coverage of the games sucked balls.

Then we landed a small SUV sized rover on Mars. Not that its not been done before, because it has. Only this time the new fangled way of getting the rover to the planet’s surface has never been tried before and the engineers and scientists who created the system couldn’t fully test the procedure here on earth outside of computer simulation and good old math analysis. Another major achievement.

I celebrated all this United States awesomeness Saturday by making and eating a patty melt.

Bill Gates (Microsoft founder, rich guy, philanthropist) is running around the world giving his money away for vaccines in third world countries, education and other basic human goodness. Well it seems now Bill has determined that something like 70% of the world cant take a decent healthy clean shit due to lack of access to a proper toilet. Mr. Gates is also disturbed that toilet engineering and technology basically hasn’t changed in the last thirty years. Gates has started a new initiative to get better and cleaner toilets to the world. FINALLY something from Mr. Microsoft I can get behind, because I have been taking shits all over their products for years.

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