Its another beginning to another great weekend. It’s no greater then any other weekend other then the fact its the weekend and by definition all weekends are simply great. The only bad part is I’ll sit down, take a deep breath and relax for five minutes today, and then I’ll look at the clock and it will be 9:00pm Sunday night. Why does this happen? It seems whenever we slow down, and take it easy with the notion of not having to do anything or do things we enjoy doing, (not working) then time all of a sudden shifts into warp speed.
Of all the drugs and dope heads in the history of time making substances to alter our reality and lower our inhibitions, why hasn’t some genius or better yet why hasn’t some pharmaceutical company chemist made a simple drug that gives the user the impression of time slowing way down? I have never done LSD. Does this happen with that drug? Well that and the hallucinations of dogs talking to you telling you to kill prostitutes and John Lennon but I digress.
How great would it be to just pop a pill that slowed time way down? Not slow motion time where everyone is talking SSSSSSLLLLLLOOOOOOWWWW, but just like it gives the user the impression that hours have passed by but when they look at the watch its only been five minutes. I know its easy to make this drug. The properties are in the air around emergency rooms, the DMV and driver licenses offices, waiting for a pot of water to boil when you watch it, dating ultra hot mormon women who are miraculously still virgins at 25+ years of age. (don’t ask me how I know) Yes so I know the elements for this miracle drug exist naturally in nature. We just need to find a way to bottle and pill it up and someone is going to be rich and the rest of us are going to be eternally happy. The drug companies have got be close to a breakthrough. After all the pills already exist to give people four hour boners. Now just give me month long weekends.
I would only make sure that the drug companies fix the boner viagra and the weekend time viagra to cancel each other out if both are taken at the same time. Frankly if I get month long weekends and compound that with four and six hour medically induced boners, Bob Barker from the Price is Right is going to have to come out of retirement to make commercials to spay and neuter people like me. That wont end well. The next thing you know, I got those whale wars bastards coming after me in the Steve Irwin boat. Since I’m on the weekend time viagra, I’ll be running away for hours and hours and never seeming to get away with a sign on my boner that says “Government research only”.
I think this is a bucket list moment. I just made a blog post about boners, Bob Barker, and Whale Wars tied together in a few simple paragraphs about how I envision great weekends. Classy yet informative. I am a natural at this.
So that is whats on my mind this morning. Yes I know. No need to state the obvious. Sometimes I am just not right. Like I’d ever put a sign on my boner about government research. Pfttt. 😉
I’ll close this hoping everyone has a good weekend. To the readers whom have shown interest in the custom end grain cutting boards, I haven’t forgotten. Watch the blog the next couple of days for the dedicated information and ordering page I am setting up.
Love and peace to each other and if it cant be remember one thing. No one can keep a secret of getting rid of a body forever. You do that job alone.