Monthly Archives: August 2012

Bringing you the funny or the disgusting since..

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…well since forever. I ran across this little nugget on youtube today. Shoenice22 as he is called on Youtube eats and or drinks pretty much anything in record time.

“Big deal a couple of hot dogs” you say? Well lets see him get down with the Kielbasa and remember ladies don’t use the teeth.

The best part about this fella is his Chris Farley-esq demeanor and his commentary. By the way, he is also a sponsored Youtube member. ie. He’s getting paid nicely for his gimmick based on viewership. Check some of his videos. Shoenice22 is pulling down 30,000-80,000 views on some of his videos. Just goes to show there is something for everyone on the net and people are finding more ways to get paid for taking part.

Anyway if you want to see some funny videos check Shoenice22 on Youtube. He eats pretty much anything. While some is kinda gross if you listen to his commentary he’s hilarious.

Extreme eating for the week….CHECK!

Goodbye weekend, hello Monday.

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So the weekend is gone and another week has started. Saturday night was dinner with friends at a local joint getting known for a particular dessert named the “Captain Jack’s Buried Treasure”. It’s essentially some kind of ice cream, chocolate cake/pie extravaganza. No I didn’t take a picture of it, it wasn’t around long enough. I should mention I had a dozen raw oysters for dinner which were great but my mind been on the “buried treasure” ice cream cake thing since Saturday. I am making my own and I am close to re-creating a version except I am going to include peanut butter and some other stuff.

Dinner tonight in order to feel better about making and eating my own peanut butter cake/pie latter in the week was some basic grilled vegetable and chicken breast. Its raining here tonight so I busted out the old grill pan. Pretty simple really. A chicken breast, some celery, a green pepper and one yellow squash. Olive oil and some Tony Chacheres Creole seasoning. Boom Healthy eating!

I didn’t stop there however, I also had some zucchini and decided to make some bread. The zucchini bread was from a basic recipe I had picked up a few years ago from the internet. I can’t attribute who actually came up with the recipe since I don’t recall where online I got it. It’s pretty basic though so if there in any interest I’ll post the details.

So between tonights grilled vegetable medley and lean chicken, with a slice of zucchini bread, my guts will be sufficiently  douched out and healthy to take on my own version of that bastard Captain Jack’s chocolate ice cream cake. Except mine will be better, and it wont have some piratey silly name like “Buried Treasure”. Oh no mine will be named something way more cool. Like “Brock’s Big Old Nuts and Chocolate Balls Ice Cream Cake Pie” or “Commandant Kingston’s Massive Ice Cream Peanut Butter Chocolate Mother of all Cake Bombs”.

You just wait. Now if I can only convince Debbie to get her ass in gear as she is supposed to be hosting the dinner club for the month of August. I just may debut my creation there.

 

Friday’s Lunch and some new changes

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Went out to lunch today with a friend to a local joint called Hurricane wings. It a small chain wing bar food type place. Nothing to write home about. I had the boneless Jamaican jerk wing nugget things.  Not bad, not near as hot as they should have been.

I shared an order of Parmasan and garlic fries with my lunch date while I got a chance to discuss this blog and some of the changes I wanted to make. The fries were actually better then the wing nuggets things or whatever the hell they may be. I have included a picture of the fries too.

Oh thats right. You may have noticed some changes around here. Guess I better explain.

The original system I was using to create the whatsupbrock.com blog was a little outdated and some of the features were broken since Apple stopped supporting the application. Comments especially were broken and the only way I could get them working was to code the ability myself which would take more time and effort then I cared to spend. Furthermore, why invent the wheel all over again. So I stepped up to big boy content management which you see here.

It will allow you and I a better chance to interact together here which was what I wanted from the beginning of this project.

Small disclaimer: In order to comment on posts the system may ask you for some information such as your name and a valid email address. It does this for a couple reasons, but mostly to try and deny spam bots from placing garbage comments. The system will ask for this information only on your first comment. Then as the admin of the site, I get to approve your first comment. From this point forward you wont have to submit the info and your comments will automatically appear since the system “thinks your a trusted source”. I promise you, not today, next week, next month or ever in the future will I sell or share your contact information. Enter something legit if you can so I know your not some Nigerian scumbag trying to scam some seed money for a large stockpile of gold I may have inherited from a dead relative. I just wanted you to hear this little bit from me and my mouth. Your info is safe if you choose to participate. I hope you do.

So I have some work to do. I do not want to abandon the first ten or so entries from the old site so I need to bring them over here with the pictures. I have a few things to clean up here as well. If you find something broken or stupid with the way this new system works please comment me, email, let me know. I’ll kick the Lama’s ass!

Thanks for your patience.

Brock

PS. My friend Amy who was my lunch date today is watching a couple of dogs for a friend of hers. This is Paddy. He’s Irish. He’s a Golden Retriever. He’s f’ing cute.

 

It aint me, I aint no fortunate son.

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Yeah some folks inherit star spangled eyes.
Oh, they send you down to war.
And when you ask them “how much should we give?”
Oh, they only answer, more more more.

 

“So we haven’t heard from you in a few days you bastard. What is cough-cough up?”

So yeah the first thing I think I need to say is. Jenny McCarthy is single again. Let’s all take a moment. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it.

Ok, now that the serious business is out of the way. It’s Friday again. What are we doing this weekend?

The corporate kitchens at What’s Up Brock inc. are finding out this blogging shit is kinda like a job. WTF? Kidding relax the blog will live on in perpetuity. A job in the sense like keeping the ideas fresh, providing engaging content, and well just not sucking. It’s not to say I have blown the proverbial load on this experiment. I have a ton of things swirling around in my head about the direction, different content, ideas to discuss and then some stories.

You see I have stories. Stories of love, war, travel, Italian prostitutes, drunk Algerians in France, and other weird and or unique (twisted lets call a spade a spade here) experiences.

The question I seem to be wrestling with lately is how and in what way to deliver these things in the blog. Granted I am a methodical SOB and always try and plan for any contingency. I enjoy blogging. I read and visit a lot of blogs. There is a lot of blog “shit” out there, that is actually making money. I honestly didn’t start this blog with any illusion I would gain any significant audience beyond my close circle of friends and family much less make money with it. Early and rudimentary analysis of some of the traffic this blog is getting has me rethinking some things.

I am not going to change or alter the fundamental direction of this blog or my attitude and personality within its pages. The fact remains this blog could lead to a place in my life where I am buying 21st century toilets for the third world population to drop a gratifying deuce. Shut up! A guy can dream damn it!

Anyway, to prove my vested interest in this site, I even bought a book. Its about food styling and photography recommended by another well known blogger. I have another book on blogging discussing the issues of advertisements and revenue generation. So like I have mentioned in some previous posts this will be a learning experience. So my valued readers you’re in on the ground floor. Check the mail for your stock options.

Or

I am a step away from shit-canning the entire idea, registering the domain bangbus and starting my porn empire. Oh wait someone already has bangbus shit! Look’s like I better find something to cook this weekend.

This is my rifle. There are many like it but….

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If the Army and Navy ever look on heavens scenes

They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.

It seems Col. Allen West has crushed the nuts of Sheriff Robert Crowder in the District 18 republican primary which I am all too happy to announce. Col. West is a no BS congressional star who is actually doing some good in Washington. Congrats to his victory.

It also seems the United States crushed ass at the Olympics. Not that I would know much since NBC’s coverage of the games sucked balls.

Then we landed a small SUV sized rover on Mars. Not that its not been done before, because it has. Only this time the new fangled way of getting the rover to the planet’s surface has never been tried before and the engineers and scientists who created the system couldn’t fully test the procedure here on earth outside of computer simulation and good old math analysis. Another major achievement.

I celebrated all this United States awesomeness Saturday by making and eating a patty melt.

Bill Gates (Microsoft founder, rich guy, philanthropist) is running around the world giving his money away for vaccines in third world countries, education and other basic human goodness. Well it seems now Bill has determined that something like 70% of the world cant take a decent healthy clean shit due to lack of access to a proper toilet. Mr. Gates is also disturbed that toilet engineering and technology basically hasn’t changed in the last thirty years. Gates has started a new initiative to get better and cleaner toilets to the world. FINALLY something from Mr. Microsoft I can get behind, because I have been taking shits all over their products for years.

Jackwagon! Where have you been?

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Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio,

A Nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Whats that you say, Mrs Robinson

“Joltin” Joe has left and gone away.

I know it’t been a few days since last update. Sometimes life gets a little hectic.

I have been reading up on and studying some ways to improve my macro photography of food items. I have the equipment (mostly) but need some technical knowledge on natural and artificial lighting. As you can see from my awesome dinner this past Wednesday night of a Hungry Man turkey dinner, the photos white balance and saturation are washed out from the flash.

I figure if I am going to blog about some awesome food I have been shoving down my fat ‘effing mouth the pictures should convey that awesomeness. I need somewhat of an excuse for eating this unhealthy but delicious grub. At least that’s my story, until I start posting about what goddamn salad or gluten free cardboard I am currently not enjoying.

No worries though, I am running or working out daily and I can eat whatever the hell I want. Well in moderation anyway. You see age is catching up with me, but damn it I still have my treachery. So, no this portion of the Whats Up Brock blog likely wont turn to healthful dishes I may be engaged in. Well unless of course there may be some interest. I doubt it though. If there is one thing I know, healthful eating pretty much blows goats. It sucks ass. Lame. Any other euphemism for “blech I suffer through eating this shit to fit in…”

Different subject and small update:

The Lab/Retriever mix Hershey I mentioned in a previous entry on this blog, went to his new home sometime last week. When I was at the shelter this past Tuesday, I went down to his room to check on him. Well thats a lie, I went down to love on him since it had been about a week and I missed the turd. Hershey was gone and Sergeant was in his place. Kinda felt like Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting when Matt Damon’s character Will hauled ass after his girl and didn’t say goodbye to his buddies. Sad but happy he got out of there.

Anyway Sergeant here is a four year old German Shepard dog. Guy drops him off at shelter, “because my wife said to get rid of dog, she doesn’t like him anymore.” It’s probably a testament to why I am still single, but frankly I’d have told my wife, mother, virgin mary to “better go pack your shit, the dog stays long after I get rid of you”.

Of course I have seen the good and bad in people and to me dogs usually win, so I may be biased.

Sergeant is depressed and leery of people so I am spending time with him. We’ll see what happens. The first real dog I was introduced to in my life was my uncle’s dog named Kojak, which was a German Shepard. The breed has a place in my heart.

The only problem now is figuring out and the political correctness of changing Sergeant’s name to El’ Negro Wolfenstein.

It’s friday. I am done. Let’t get this mother of a weekend started!!!

Love, peace, chicken grease, this one goes to eleven.

Queer chicken sandwiches for the straight guy.

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Let me put my love into you babe,

Let me put my love on the line,

Let me put my love into you babe,

Let me cut your cake with my knife.



So by now we all know the brouhaha lately thats been going on with Chick-Fil-A’s CEO and the gay and lesbian community and the same sex marriage advocates.

Personally I think its ridiculous to deny any two people the right to marry based on sexual orientation. That being said I also think anyone should have the right to believe and act in any way their personal moral compass dictates so long as it does not infringe on some others right to do exactly the same thing. In my humble opinion straights and gays are full of shit to think one group holds the moral high ground over the other group simply based on individual beliefs. There is plenty of room on the planet for both groups to coexist and neither group deserves special treatment or rights over the other. This includes letting two men or women legally marry. Besides why should straight people corner the market that is generally the misery of marriage and subsequent divorce. I say let the gays have the same taste of that fun.

In that spirit, I decided to mock up a few of my own Chick-Fil-A sandwiches this weekend at home.

Its pretty simple to make an accurate representation of the famous sandwich at home for a fraction of the cost. The trick is the chicken needs to be brined for six hours or overnight is even better.

1.Dissolve 1/2 cup salt and 1/4 cup of sugar in a quart of cold water. Place skinless, boneless chicken breasts in brine. Cover and refrigerate for at least six hours or like I mentioned above over night.

2.Remove chicken from brine and rinse with cold water. Dry breasts with paper towel.

3.Mix two eggs with a cup of milk in container.

4.Make spice mixture of 2 tablespoon pepper, 1 tablespoon paprika, 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper, 1 teaspoon MSG

5.Mix 1 1/2 cups flour, with 2 tablespoons dry milk, 1 tablespoon of baking powder,1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon sugar and half the spice mixture in step 4. listed above.

6.Season chicken breast with spice mixture, then dredge in milk/egg solution then place in flour mixture and cover with and pat down with the seasoned flour. Shake off excess flour.

7.Fry the chicken breasts in 350 degree peanut oil for about 4-6 minutes based on breast size.

8.Toast hamburger buns in melted butter in a non-stick frying pan.

 

You assemble the sandwiches by placing a few dill pickles slices on the bottom of butter toasted buns. Then simply place the fried chicken on the bun with the pickles and top with the other bun half.

So if you’re inclined give them a try. I think you’ll be surprised just how close to the real thing they are. Lastly the good part about making these in the comfort and privacy of your own home, you don’t have to suffer the public shame and humiliation of eating two or a dozen of these bastards.

I got your back…..maybe

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Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain.

With the rain in Shambala.

Wash away my sorrows, wash away my shame.

With the rain in Shambala.

Since Lucille has been gone I have been volunteering some hours at the local no-kill animal shelter. This little guy is currently going by the name Hershey.

Hershey is a guesstimated to be a two year old lab/retriever mix. As soon as I saw him I asked what his status was and was told he was already adopted but the family was on vacation and going to pick him up when they return.

I breathed a sigh of relief. To be honest I wasn’t sure if I was ready for another dog. Then I felt guilt about losing Lucille and how easily it could be to replace her. So knowing that he may be getting another home was a relief.

Then I fucked up.

I started hanging with Hershey on the days I would work at the shelter. He is good boy and a lover. The bastard! Seems to be housebroken knows sit and shake paw. Like Lucille used to be, he’ll chase tennis balls either till your arm falls off or he collapses from exhaustion. I take him swimming in the pool and walk him often. Mostly when I am not cleaning up shit or piss at the shelter, I go down to his room and hang with him on the floor. He’ll come up to me and put his paw in my shoulder and look at me, like “come on man lets get the fuck out of here” then lick my face or ear.

I pretty much have told the shelter, that if the adoption falls through or the people never show back up to get him that he coming home with me.

Most likely he go home to a decent family. My hopes anyway. If not he’s goddamned mine.

Im not particularly religious or spiritual but I tend to side with fate and karma more times then not. Hershey was put in my path for a reason. I am guessing to spend a little time with me to show me that it was ok to move away from the hurt of losing Lucille and finding another dog. If thats the reason, I’ll take it and wait for the next dog to come along my path that needs me as I need him/her. Strange how things work out sometimes. What little time I get to spend with this dog between now and the nineteenth of the month when his new family is supposed to pick him up, he’ll get the hook up with treats and extra food. I wont forget what he did for me. If that family doesn’t come back for him or change their mind, i’ll show him what he did for me for the rest of his life. In my home.