Category Archives: Current Events

Whadda ya want from me?

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IMG_0091“One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy is sayin’, ‘Whadda ya want from me?'”
-Goodfellas

Hello loyal readers, hello world, hello Monday. Before we get going too far, let me first apologize for the content slow down at the Whats Up Brock empire. Sometimes life, work, or writers block gets the better of any of us and we slow down a bit. I wouldn’t necessarily say I have suffered from writers block or have nothing to say, but from time to time I look back at some of my writing trends and I add up the “Fucks, Politics, Religion or Vagina” posts and think maybe I should take a nap and come back with something fresh. I Don’t want to post just to post just to post. I believe in the have something to say, then say it but don’t bore people and be repetitive. Or something like that. Who needs rules when you’re at the top of the food chain?

Speaking of food chain. This past Friday I was fortunate to meet up with some close friends and start a new annual tradition. Good low country crawfish boil.

I have had crawfish many times in the past via restaurants here and there over the years. To really enjoy crawfish as much as any self respecting Louisiana Cajun you need to cook a metric shit ton of ’em, and sit around eating them outside in the company of friends. We did this and it was excellent. DSC_0378

I had brought this idea up to a good friend of mine this past fall. Crawfish season is in the spring, and that for anyone not living within driving distance to Louisiana can go online and buy and have shipped overnight live fresh crawfish to their door.

I was literally a day away from putting in an online order to Louisiana to have 30lbs of fresh crawfish shipped in. Now you may be thinking 30lbs of crawfish is a lot. How much does that cost and who are you feeding? Believe it or not 30lbs of crawfish shipped to your door isn’t terribly expensive at about $160. Furthermore 30lbs of crawfish isn’t a lot in regards to amount one has to eat. 30lbs is actually the smallest amount you should buy. Specifically 30lbs of crawfish is enough to feed about 10-12 people or 2 Cajuns as my friend Allen and I proved.

But….

We didn’t ship these in overnight. The day before I was going to order them, my friend Allen, knew some folks that were driving up to Louisiana for a vacay and he gave them a cooler and some cash and viola we had 30lbs of live crawfish at our door for less then half the cost of having them flown via FedEx. 30lbs of crawfish $60. Oh and before I forget, live fresh crawfish will live about 4-5 days no problem in a cooler. So if you live within a days drive of Louisiana and you know someone going that way in the spring time, give them a cooler and some cash, you wont regret it.

There are many ways to cook crawfish. Steamed, boiled, you name it. Some add potatoes, corn, onion, garlic, lemon, sausage, spice packs. We elected to do a traditional boil, or a modified traditional boil. Some will add the sausage and vegetables in with the crawfish while they cook but we elected to boil the crawfish first, remove to a cooler then cook the potatoes, corn, sausage alone in the water. The reason is the sausage will render off the fat  and grease while it cooks and this way you don’t get all your crawfish oily and greasy. At least that was our reasoning and it worked out well.

When all is said and done, you get some friends together around a table, lay down some newspaper, then pile up the cooked goodness in the center of the table and go to town. Theres the whole pinch the tail, suck the head thing and I have to tell you its glorious. IMG_0928

Now what you see on the table here was the first pile of about five, ten of us together went through. Well let me rephrase that. This was the first pile that ten of us ate, then there was about four more piles of about this size that Allen and I went through with shit eating grins and pure culinary bliss.

Everyone enjoyed the crawfish some more then others. Its a lot of work for a little succulent tail meat. However its camaraderie around the table with friends that is the main ingredient being shared and enjoyed the most.

We all sat down and enjoyed the first heap of crawfish. Some ate the corn and potatoes and sausage, I think I tried some sausage. After that first heap, Allen and I looked at each other saw that everyone else happily tried some and then we got down to business with a five gallon bucket between us for the shells and we wiped out about about 25 of the 30lbs between us. Really 30lbs of crawfish isn’t a lot. There is only about a bite of tail meat and juice in the body region. The rest gets thrown away. I wasn’t even full. Well actually I was happily full but not “oh god, I pigged out and ate too much full.” Online when ordering crawfish sites will state normal people will eat about 2lbs each but figure about 10lbs for a Cajun. Allen and I proved this is true as we passed the Cajun mark and happily headed into Troy Landry “shoot ’em” territory.

Allen and I pretty much committed this activity to a once a year tradition and depending on who we invite next time, we’ll pretty much ensure the two of us will easily eat 15lbs each and then we’ll add more for any other guests. Its a good time and an easy way to get folks together around a table for good food.

There was cake, pie, brownies / blondies, pulled pork there too, and I tried a bit of each, but I will have to be honest this inaugural event was about the almighty crustaceans.

If you like shrimp, lobster, or other assorted seafood I venture a guess you’ll love crawfish.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Renegades of Funk

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sunIts been a long strange week. Strange in that I cant quite figure out what is in that air but there is some Tomfoolery about. I think. Maybe. Sort of.

Its the feels like it is the Springtime of my lovin’ the second season I am to know oh oh oh…sorry Led Zeppelin moment there. Yes its like this each spring. Most complain that the only thing Florida lacks is clear delineated seasons. Most will claim we have two seasons down here. Hot and hot/wet and for the most part that is accurate, but to me I could always tell when it was spring. Not so much weather-wise but more a state of mind.

In my case springtime is a few short weeks before summer or what we call “the rest of the year.” I always know its spring when I travel up and down the roads in the interior parts of the state. You can smell the orange blossoms from the groves. I cant explain the smell or compare it to anything other then industrial mechanics hand cleaner but in the air all around you.

As it turns out every time I have found myself either in car, truck or Harley roaring down the roads enjoying this smell and experience in the spring, I was either on my way to be with, recalling happy times of it, or imaging in my head what the next experience of “love” may be.

Why these benign thoughts and moods of love happen in spring, with orange blossom smells in the air, and me on the open road in some mechanical fashion happen I cant explain. They’re nice thoughts however and I look forward to them. Its not to say I only feel such emotion a mere three weeks each year, but its a time of year where all the planets and chi and aura and whatever other whacky things enter my house of awesome and I think specifically about love and what may be in the future and don’t particularly get nauseous or pissed about failed love of the past.

The before mentioned Tomfoolery of it all this time is that I think I am changing my thoughts on the subject of love. As we get older and have experiences in life we find out what works and what doesn’t in regards to love. For some time now I thought I knew what true love is, and generally speaking I am sure I have to common bases covered but I am beginning to rethink what it truly means. I used to look for it. I stopped. I rationalized when I looked for it all that I found was something disguised as love but not love I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. I figured the love I wanted will just happen naturally. I still believe in this notion but as I am getting older I am starting to second guess myself. Are my eyes still open? Am I paying attention? Have I drawn such an opinion and picture of love in my head  that everything right in front of me is passing by? Have I priced myself out of the market? All questions and internal dialogue on the subject of love I battle and debate. In the end I wonder if I accept this or relax my opinion on that would love come along any faster, or better?  Eventually the soundtrack of my life gets a little louder, Pearl Jam’s Black gets fast forwarded to some Zeppelin, I smell the orange blossoms in the air, and turn the throttle back on the Harley some more and for a short time again I am at ease and in love. Love with myself and happy with who I am, one day I’ll share it again with a lucky woman who thinks the same of me as I do of her.

Thank God for Orange Blossoms and Spring.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

Can you say TGIF on Good Friday?

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JesusI was wondering what I was going to title this post today and since its Friday I automatically started down the TGIF something and something train of thought. It occurred to me I have probably used the TGIF moniker in a previous Friday post and I certainly don’t want to be repetitive if I can at all help it or care enough to remember.

Then I immediately remember today is Good Friday, or in the heathen parlance of our time the day those dirty dirty Jews (I love Jews don’t start the hate mail) bullshitted Pontius Pilate into killing Jesus. Why today is really called Good Friday I can’t say. In my minds eye, if I was having dinner with Jesus and we were talking about his crucifixion he would be all laid back chilling out, zapping his can of Red Bull into Jager Bombs, and recollect “man it might have been a Good Friday for all you sinners, but damn, it was a shitty day for me.”

Anyway back on target, I’m thinking can you really say Thank God its Friday, on the Friday God gave his only son to die for the rest of us? It would be like saying “Hey God, thanks for the day of beating the shit out of your kid and then nailing his ass to a couple of Glu-lam beams from down at the lumber yard for the sake of all the rest of us bastard and bitch sinners.

See these are the kinds of things I think about when trying to decide catchy new post titles for this blog.

Except my mind doesn’t just stop there. It continues on down the path of twisted, redonkulousness.

Like this:

I am imagining me and Jesus hanging out, he’s turning the Red Bull into Jager Bombs, we’re getting tipsy, talking about how Good Friday was not so good for him. I ask what his father (God) thinks about us lowly sinners busting out a TGIF on Good Friday and the scenario in my head plays out, that Gods voice booms in the distance somewhat like the Wizard of Oz, Yoda, or some other dark Sith Lord

God: Brock there is another.nadiag
Me: Another what? Another Jesus?
God: There is another.
Me: Leia?!
God: No dummy Nadia G.!

Then everything makes sense in the world. Nadia G from Bitchin Kitchen is the daughter of god. Then Jesus, sipping his Gin and Juice, (he gave up the Jager Bombs) looks over at me and by now you can tell he’s faded. “Hold on brother theres more.”

God: Brock instead of letting the dirty dirty Jews kill another one of my kids, you have to marry her and be her husband to save the sinners of the world again.
Me: Um yeah ok no problem God, but where is the great sacrifice? Hell I’d marry her just to see where she does her laundry.
God: She has no vagina.

Then instead of worrying about what the hell I am going to title this little blog post, I spend the rest of the day wondering, would I sacrifice to save all the worlds sinners again?

Nah just kidding. I only spent about five minutes wondering if I married Nadia G. my TV and internet crush who doesn’t have a vagina to save the rest of the world from sin. I would still marry her. Of course I would. To save the world? You’re darn right I would, Jesus looked over at me and said, “Don’t worry man she still has a mouth, and butt, the old man may be cruel with the life lessons but he’s not impossible.”

So happy Good Friday and Easter. Know that I truly love God, Jesus, the Jews, and Nadia G. The rest of you are pretty ok too.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon

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Going to the candidates debate Church&State
Laugh about it, shout about it 
When you’ve got to choose 
Every way you look at it, you lose

Hello Monday you make another appearance after an otherwise nice relaxing weekend. I hope the weekend was kind to the rest of you. I know, it goes by too fast. When I become President and supreme overlord, I will mandate that the nation goes to four, ten hour work days Tuesday through Friday. Saturday and Sunday will be for family and friends, Mondays will be for taking care of your own things at home, the rest of the week you work.

I had an interesting conversation recently regarding the subject of same sex marriage. Before I give you my opinion on the matter, I’ll first tell you a little of my religious and political background to better frame the subject.

I am guessing if you’ve read ten sentences of this blog or know me personally such a revelation regarding my religion and politics isn’t necessary at all. However, I think it prudent to better illustrate the position and how I have established my opinion on the subject that seems to have so many people up in arms.

I was born and raised a Christian with a Catholic father and a mostly Lutheran sometimes Presbyterian mother. Politically speaking I have been a registered republican since the day I could vote.

It’s no mystery about my beliefs and opinions as I have stated before, I have made them clear here and as you the reader knows I am generally a pull no punches type of person. I’ll tell you how I feel about something and generally will do it in a way without political correctness and straight to the point. My philosophy in life has been pretty simple, be honest, be blunt, and leave no doubt with others where you stand. I will say from a leadership and business perspective this philosophy has served me well. Personal, and more specifically romantic relationships probably not so much but that is not the point of this discussion.

Tomorrow the supreme court will hear the case of same sex marriage as related to the  proposition number eight or whatever it is, out in California, and the federal governments recognition of the subject of same sex marriage.

As a registered republican, a non-practicing and semi-literate Christian, I support same sex marriage and truly believe the argument from my conservative and Christian countrymen and women is the biggest and most embarrassing load of bullshit I have ever been unfortunately aligned with.

Now for the buts, and qualifications of my statements.

The arguments against same sex marriage from my fellow party and religious members is so plainly ridiculous it hurts my head to even hear or read. Lets take a look at the most famous.

Brock, if two men or two women get married that lessens the sanctity of my marriage between my wife and I or my husband and myself.
When I hear this, immediately in my mind I am thinking “are you that fucking stupid and insecure?” How does what two other people whom you have no connection or know anything about affect your life? Your marriage between you and your husband or wife and your god and or church has no relationship on what two other people think and or do. Furthermore your specific “marriage” you are talking about is the federally recognized one on the piece of paper issued by the court. Your church and your god no matter which it may be, doesn’t give two shits about the marriage license you got from the government. Your marriage sanctity doesn’t even enter the fucking picture with regards to the piece of paper that says you’re married. Your marriage sanctity is between you and your spouse and your god. Thats it! Get the fuck over it. If the sanctity of your marriage is being questioned then you better take a good long look at yourself and your own failings. It has nothing to do with what two  people on the other side of town, state, or country are doing. 

Brock, the bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. My response to this statement is simple and it comes right from my honest to goodness Christian heart. Fuck you and your bible. Again we are talking about marriage as recognized by the courts, states, government. You remember the government don’t you? The one you swear your allegiance to? The one founded on the principal all men (and women) are created equal? Pursuit of happiness, the Bill of Rights, the Constitution etc? Yes I understand this country was founded on principals of God and basic Christian beliefs but it was also founded on the fact all men and women can believe in whatever God they so choose or none at all and still be free to live in peace and equality. It’s ok for you to interpret your bible any way you choose, but you have no right whatsoever to think you can force those religious interpretations on your fellow man/woman via the power and arm of the government. Everyone is equal everyone is free in the eyes of the law. To say and or think two men or women who love each other can’t be married in the eyes of the law because of your own very personal beliefs between you and god is wrong. No one is taking away or trying to change your beliefs in your god, which is a private matter, and you have no right to deny anyone the right to be free or equal in the eyes of the law, backed by the government that oversees all of us. Its really that simple and if you deny this then I suggest you take a remedial civics class and research the founding principals of this country. Start about the first grade level.

Brock, the gays and lesbians can get legally binding contracts as far as their unions go to protect their rights just like married people. As a fiscally conservative republican I’d love to punch my fellow party members right in the face when I hear this line of bullshit. Yes I want less government, less taxes and spending money on stupid, ignorant shit. The fact remains, all of our nations laws regarding probate, taxes, next of kin, insurance, adoption, children where there is a definition of marriage will also need to be amended to incorporate “the legal unions” of the gays and lesbians. This will need to happen from every branch of government form the local municipalities all the way to federal level. How fucking much of my money has to be wasted on this endeavor? How long do gays and lesbians have to wait for all that legislative work to be done, when a very simple definition of the word marriage can be changed to include “any adult no matter sex” and we are done? All existing laws with the word or provision for marriage gets left alone and stands the only difference now the gays and lesbians have the same rights and privileges. Minimal money, minimal time, everyone is equal in the eyes of the law.

Do not get me wrong on this topic. While I am passionate about my religious and political beliefs, I just cant see how my fellow party members and especially Christians cant see past this issue where it concerns our government. If our government is based on religious freedoms and our country is based on the principal that all men are created equal in the eyes of the law, then where the law and the government define marriage it needs to be amended to include the definition that it can occur between members of the same sex.

My god or my bible may tell me homosexuality is wrong. My beliefs may tell me its wrong. In the end homosexuality doesn’t affect me and its existence certainly doesn’t lessen my relationships with those I love or the things I believe in. I’ll be damned before a day comes that my beliefs will effectively rob someone else of their simple legal freedoms to be happy where it comes to the government overseeing all of us together.

All this being said, on the other side of the coin, no one of any religious persuasion should be made to feel inferior or apologetic in their religious beliefs where our country and government are concerned. Religion and beliefs shape who we are as people and people make up the government. That idea is ok, and I want that, however our founding fathers were very specific on separation of church and state where it comes to personal freedom and the pursuit of happiness. I want that too, before anything else.

In the end I’m a republican and I support same sex marriage as recognized by the government and the fancy piece of paper you get saying you’re now married in the eyes of the law.

Hey Ohio, keep up the great work Florida is enjoying the breather.

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Can anyone tell me whats going on in Ohio? It seems Ohio is trying to unseat the undisputed champion of stupid, Florida.

As a proud Floridian I would like to extend my sincerest thanks to Ohio, this breather you guys have afforded us has been nice.

T.J. Lane in Ohio storms into a high school and kills a few kids with a firearm. He was sentenced to three life terms, plus thirty something years without parole yesterday. This was his general response to the victims families and the court.

conviction

T.J. also had a few choice words for the court and families which I wont go into here, but lets just assume they weren’t pleasant. What gets me in all this, he was allowed to make these gestures and say the things he did without the first “bailiff gag and bag that man” from the judge.

In the grand scheme of things as repulsive as this kid is, he too has the right to make and express such statements. I guess.

Anyone thats been in a courtroom pretty much knows judges are the supreme being and while they are governed by law, they have an extremely wide latitude when presiding over cases such as these. “God Like” comes to mind and if you don’t think a judge can do damn near what he wants in his/her courtroom then thats just naiveté on your part.

My point is, while we are a nation of laws and that no matter what we are supposed to rise above this nonsense and show each other that no matter how bad a person is we are better then these lowest common denominators of human waste. Knowing all this, I have to say, if I had been the judge in these proceedings I would have drawn a much different picture for you.

To begin, everything would have came to a halt in the courtroom when the defendant removed his shirt and sat in his undershirt with the word “killer” written on it with a jailhouse pen. When he made his statements to the victims families about masturbating with the “trigger hand he was shooting them the bird with” I would have removed all the media from the courtroom. Had the bailiffs lock the room and one at a time allowed the victims family if they choose to freely beat that punks ass to within an inch of his life right in the room.

T.J. Lane may be spending the rest of his life in prison, but as a judge I would have had a hard time restraining my good sense after seeing Mr. Lanes spectacle during sentencing to allow that piece of human garbage to start his sentence in anything but a drug induced coma with every singe bone in his body broken.

There is no rehabilitation for this. There is no family or societal failure for the likes of T.J. Lane. This was just one of those anomalies of a broken and bad human with no redeeming value.

Casting his ass down with the sodomites and removing him from his one bunk Hilton while in prison is too good for Mr. Lane.

Guess this is a prime example of why I am not a judge. Or a lawyer. Or Senator. Or the President. In the end the only thing I am left thinking about in all of this is that whomever got together and thought it a good idea to have sex and make this kid, has now been sterilized.

So again, thanks Ohio, you’re giving us Floridians a breather down here. Don’t panic we’ll see you again during the next election or mass murder. Disregard that false start at UCF the other day.

White Smoke? Black Smoke? I see Purple Haze

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Hear my train a comin”? -Jimi Hendrix

Jimi Hendrix’s family who now and have for the last ten or fifteen years own the rights to his music, images, property have released an album (People, Hell, & Angels) of nine or ten songs by Jimi that have never been released before. They are not all together new songs but they are versions of songs we have never heard before Mr. Hendrix recorded them in about 1969-ish.

Unless you are a Hendrix completist, don’t go buy the album as you probably wont be happy. Its bluesy and not what you think of when you imagine Hendrix’s music. If you appreciate great music and what Jimi would have done next if he had lived, then this is a good representation of what might have been.

With all these things being said, here is the amaze balls part of the story. The record is number 2 on the billboard top 200 album list. Hendrix was last on the Billboard top 200 list at number 1 with Axis Bold as Love in 1969. Dead forty-two years and some change, and still puts albums of music at the top of the sales charts. Thats nothing short of incredible that the likes of Tu-pac, or say Michael Jackson would barely be able to sniff the crusty drawers of being able to do forty-two years later.

In other news we have a new Pope. Another crusty old fuck who will maintain the closed minded dogma of denying simple birth control and that somehow homosexuals are not human and an abomination. He’s a man of the poor and has been known to walk to work. As I understand it, since his papal chimney farted out his holinesses white queef of selection, our own beloved President of he poor has been trying to bang in the numbers to phone the Pontiff’s secretary for a lunch date next week. Probably wants to talk shop I’m guessing.

Now for the sad news.

TickleMugShot

How in the fuck are you going to arrest my man Tickle? Charge? Drunk in public. Drunk in public at a Goddamn shop and stop type convenience store no less. Look at the guys job! Be on TV drunk. Be on TV drunk, and make illegal moonshine no less. What kind of ball-less bastard of a cop would haul in Tickle on a drunk in public charge? He wasn’t driving. So what, he had a few drinks and was trying to pick up some quality ass at his local Step Saver by laying down his line, “hey I am Tickle from Moonshiners. Want to know why they call me Tickle…..Burp?”

The world is going to hell. What color smoke from the papal chimney is the color for, “You’re all fucked, I am out of here on the Jesus jet, good luck heathens?”

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

Having Trouble With My Direction

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MyrtleManorUpside-down, psychotic reaction. -The Cult

Another Monday passed us and another week ahead.

I think I have found my dream calling. I may finally have seen the “tap dancing Jesus H. Christ” light. I know what I want to be when I grow up.

I want to be a trailer park landlord. In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Not a fancy new trailer park with new modular homes. I am talking single wides on wheels. Maybe a couple half assed run down Air Stream silver bullets and other tear drop like gypsy wagons. As Brad Pitt in the movie Snatch called ’em “Caravans” periwinkle blue ones even. A couple pink flamingos, and other Kitschy ornaments and I am all set.

See I always said, I was going to retire into a nice motor home and spend my last years traveling the country and tramp around. I am talking a nice diesel pusher with pop outs and full amenities. I would sell everything I had, cash out and hit the road. What better way to retire? I am not paying taxes, moving around the country in my RV and Harley. North in the summer, south in the winter. Im not stuck banging a bunch old lonely women in nursing homes with Viagra and STDs. I’m out in the world free. RV campsite to campsite. Meeting fellow travelers living on the road. Yellowstone, Devils Tower, Alaska, Grand Canyon, Yosemite Park.

Then I started watching Welcome to Myrtle Manor on the TLC channel. It’s about a trailer park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Its everything I dream about in an old tourist trap RV/Trailer park in a vacation spot. Low rent, baby momma drama, pink flamingos, Kitsch, Art Deco and Bungalow styles all mixed in to one.

Its so tacky but at the same time fun in a highly manipulative way. I could thrive and take over in there like Lex Luther at a sheriff’s youth ranch for first time offenders. I could be the KING OF RANCHO CUCAMONGA! I am the only one paying CASH!

Look at this list of characters:

  • A couple of sluts selling hotdogs on the beach for rent money.
  • A slut and a night club promoter who are fighting jealousy issues.
  • A token trailer park security guard with an IQ of about 68
  • A drunk mother of the night club promoter son above
  • A drifter maintenance kid who cant change a light bulb
  • A gay man and rather ugly woman running a beauty salon / hair dressers trailer for the tenants.
  • A Park Manager who’s father put her in charge of the trailer park trying to get the back rent from deadbeats.

I can’t stop watching! Its worse then a bad car accident with blood and guts all over the road. I have to look and see. Whats really bad? I have fantasies of running and living in a place just like this. How I would be making money hand over fist, a dozen sexual harassment lawsuits, more kids with different mothers to make that kooky Duggar family with 50 kids and a clown car vagina look like the Walton’s.

I cant get enough of it. There are above ground pools, putt putt golf, tattoos, dyed hair and fake boobs in bikinis. Its like some TV producer looked inside my head and opened up the twisted scumbag file and made a tv show about it.

I am transfixed. I am baffled. I am like a small retarded kid looking at all the blinking Christmas lights before shitting myself. You know that moment in your life when something clicks in your mind and everything makes sense. Happiness rolls through your body, and your mind is telling you what words to put together and scream at the top of your lungs and all that comes out is rather out of character killing a cat sounding screams and spitting and even though you hear it and your mind goes “what the fuck was that noise you just made” but you don’t care and continue on. Yea thats me. Well sort of. Ok not really. Well a little bit. Sorry. Not sorry.

I love this shit.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

I am going to get my kicks

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JimShocker….before this whole shithouse goes up in flames.

I think Jim Morrison said that once. Or maybe it was Oliver Stone who pretended Jim said it once in one of his movies. Either way its a pretty good quote and if nothing else a decent philosophy to try and live by.

A lot of people regard Morrison and his band The Doors as epically defining the 1960’s counter culture and the Rock and Roll music scene. There is no doubt The Door’s shaped a lot of what was to come. Personally I don’t think he was a musical genius as say McCartney and Lennon. Jim certainly had lyrical chops but again I suspect that was a result of his affinity for poetry and literature. Peyote and acid probably helped a great deal too.

One thing I find about some music is that I associate certain music with physical places. This isnt true for all music. In the case of The Doors when I hear any of it, whether its studio recorded albums or concert bootlegs I say, think and feel like California. In my mind The Doors are California. Doesn’t matter what song either. When I hear The Door’s I imagine and think about California period. I get the same exact feeling about the Smashing Pumpkins and Chicago. Lynyrd Skynyrd and thats North Florida all day long no matter how many times I imagine Forrest Gump running his ass across Alabama.

I have been to these places, met the people, ate the food and drank the drinks. This music reminds me of these places no two ways about it.

When I hear Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, I don’t think of Seattle. I Don’t think of London or Britain when I hear The Who or Rolling Stones. The Beatles however makes me think of Britain up until Sgt. Peppers. After this point all I can think about is Charles Manson,dirty hippies and death. It’s still good music and I enjoy it, but in my sometimes rather twisted brain it can evoke strange images and feelings. I guess thats how you know music is good.

LizardKingAll this being said, you can imagine the dichotomy of visiting Morrison’s grave in Paris, France. I have been to Paris three separate times in my life. Paris to me has nothing to do with great music, especially Jim Morrison and The Doors. To me Paris is great food, great visual art, but music? Just does’t hit me. Jim Morison died and is buried there though and people check out his grave as if its a national monument. I did once. Its weird being there. It has no feeling of music, or The Doors, or California. It’s just “Jim” if I had to put a label on the experience.

In any event, to try and sum this rather meandering and pointless post up, music has the power to take you places. The problem is not much of todays new “music” achieves this goal. In fact it falls short of taking my mind anywhere other then wanting to jam pencils in my ears. Where did the good music go? There’s a few groups out there trying and still holding true, but what is happening with the brand new music?

When the internet opened up instantaneous communications and people of all ages and background can upload a video from their phone to YouTube, we should be inundated with incredibly gifted musicians making incredible music right now. Where are they?

Is the best we can hope for and muster up, some ding bat Korean chink pseudo fucking his horse to a catchy beat to take over the musical world?

Where is the next Misty Mountain Hop? The next Yellow Ledbetter? Christ, I would settle for the next Jack and Diane or Pink Houses right about now. Where are they? In this day and age of self promotion, YouTube, iTunes, and 24X7 continuously connected world where are the next Led Zeppelin or AC/DC? We don’t need Sony or BMG or any of the other dinosaur music industry to find this new music and give it to us.

There is something better then some country pop chick who cant keep a man or some Disney child star lip syncing some auto tuned garbage. There has to be I just know it.

Until that time, I’ll keep my eyes on the road and my hands down my pants or upon the wheel.

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?

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OverthelineIts another TGIF around the Whats Up Brock empire and I for one am glad. I can’t quite put my finger on it but its been a long week.

Between the Honda Classic with Tiger Woods just down the road and a couple of cops getting shot yesterday morning the local news has been jam packed full of insanity. Insanity  that news folks and those that produce news television are complete morons. Sadly the crap they show us on the news is a direct reflection of society as a whole. They show us what we (collectively) want to see and hear about. This saddens me, because it becomes clearer to me each day that I am literally surround by idiots.

News folks love selling misery, perceived imminent weather death, and hero worship.

I live in a tropical hurricane zone. I know this. Its averaged 77 degrees this winter, I put up with the possibility of hurricanes. I don’t need 24X7 coverage every time a fart in a whirlwind spawns off the coast of ass-crack Africa. Let NOAA give me 48 hours notice before landfall and I am good.

A cop was shot and killed yesterday during a routine traffic stop. No rhyme, no reason, just a shitty thing. A shitty thing to die, but for Christ sake, it was a cop. Its part of his job. If you want to be a cop, and you follow around a known scumbag who has been in trouble, before, you ran his tags and know its him, then you wait for him to coast through a stop sign and pull him over, then guess what? Be ready for the unknown. In this case getting your ass shot the hell up by a lowlife piece of shit. Its part of the job and you accept that and if you don’t then find a new line of work. I feel bad for the cops family honest, but I dont need 48 hours of local news idiots pre-empting my Ellen Show to sit and pontificate why a drug dealing scumbag shot and killed a sheriff deputy for pulling him over. Its life, it sucks sometimes, move along nothing to see here.

I am all for local events and sporting activity. Anything that helps the local economy is ok and good in my book. The last fifteen or so years PGA national has been putting on the Honda Classic golf tournament. Last year El Tigre’ or Tiger “the meatshank” Woods has been playing in the tournament. Yes I understand he’s awesome and the crowds he draws I think are great. However for the last thirteen years the news could hardly give two shits about the Honda Classic and it was barely a thirty second blurb on the 11:00pm newscast. Now with Tiger playing, all the local news is camped out at the tournament. Tiger this, Tiger that, I wonder if Tiger will get caught banging Lindsey Vonn behind the Titleist bus in a full leg cast? The news doesn’t give half a shit about Tiger. The news are a bunch of vultures waiting to catch the guy bust a nut in some other whore, then judge the guy for falling from grace as the golf hero everyone loves and looks up to. The news and media made the guy the hero, but the reality is he’s just a damn great golfer who likes to get laid and hit some strange. Really who’s dreams are crushed here? It certainly isn’t Tigers. He’s living true to himself. Its the media who put the guy up on a pedestal and made him holier then thou and when they find out he isn’t the almighty world saving golf hero they wanted him to be, they chase and camp out faking interest in his golf waiting for him to be  a normal  asshole again.

As much as I rail against the news idiots for showing this shit and behaving the way they do, I have to sit and remind myself, they are only giving us shit because we demand to see the shit. Its ratings and they know we watch the cockamamie garbage they put out. They give us exactly what we want to see. I dont want to see it per-se but it saddens me that enough of my idiot neighbors and countrymen want to see it because it proves we’re doomed.

The only thing, and I mean only thing the news stations do right is the weather. No they have no more weather expertise then looking at doppler radar, seeing no rain, and then broadcasting “slim chance of rain today”. Any one of us could do the exact same thing. Where the news station does this right in my book, is very simple. They get a mid to late twenty something blond hottie with great tits and legs to tell me what I already know. I haven’t yet watched a news weather broadcast from my local NBC station where I have actually listened to the young lady (Kait Parker, Kait Parker I love you Kait Parker) and heard a damn thing she was saying about the weather. No sir. I look at the lovely Ms. Parker and dream about what her cute skirt would do in a hurricane, a light mist on her long bare legs, the tank top under her casual Friday business coat that not buttoned getting wet, the ever just barely pronounced nipple staining against the taut fabric….and my mind thinking, such a beautiful woman, shame she is brainwashed into thinking what she is doing right this second a semi-trianed chimp couldn’t also do.

So yeah, its a TGIF today for sure. I predict its going to be sunny with a chance of showers with a cool front then it will get warm again. And rain again, and …..

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

Here Comes the Sequestration

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beatles Here comes the Sequestration,
here comes the Sequestration,
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here

Get ready its coming and frankly I am all for it. Let the cuts begin and pieces fall where they may. If the current administration refuses to make any sort of a budget and live by it then guess what? Obama knew sequestration was coming and did squat about it. Blame the republicans and blame the democrats if it makes you feel better. The real failure is lack of leadership that starts and ends in the white house. End of discussion.

Remember my screaming goats? Yep, viral. Viral in the best way. Take a look see.

Taylor take it the goat way too.

Goat pisses on dead crackheads grave in epic form.

Goat doesn’t spare the musical abortion of Bieber either.

Thats about it kids. Enjoy your hump day and remember the dude and the goat abides, man!

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!